anyone still not sure what to do ??

minimoo90 · Nov 10th, 2009, 12:57 PM

i think i'm having one of those, i don't know if i can do this day

My OH keeps going on about, that he isn't sure about if his ready to commit, which keeps putting me on edge, and makes me feel that i shouldn't have this baby, as it'll hold him back....

i just don't want to be blamed for holding him back

i know his 27, and tbh if their's anyone who's going to loose anythink and this baby really affects, is me.

oh i dunno

Kara1989 · Nov 10th, 2009, 13:07 PM

Don't let you're OH affect your decision like this, because yes it is a two way decision but your feelings are more important. If you want this baby then do it for you and to be honest he needs to be ready to commit and look after this baby because like it or not this is his baby and this is his responsibility.

I spent years thinking I had forced my FOB into a relationship and being a father but then I realised that he was just as much as a party to making of our daughters as I was.

Yes both your lives will change but who says it'll be for the worse? My life probably would be completely different if I didn't have Summer and Maxi but I wouldn't change it for a second.

If you want this baby, have it and enjoy it. You'll be a wonderful mum and hopefully your OH will step up.

minimoo90 · Nov 10th, 2009, 13:09 PM

his just going on, and it's starting to make me feel it's my fault or somethink

Kara1989 · Nov 10th, 2009, 13:18 PM

You need to talk to him then because that's unfair. I'd just sit him down and explain how you feel about everything. It's incredibly selfish of him to expect you just to do what he wants (at 27 he should know better!). Maybe he's just scared and taking it out on you, so if you talk to him and really include him then maybe he will back off. Maybe if you explain that you want this baby but you're not expecting his whole world to change (just certain things). Obviously every parent gets a night off occasionally so it's not like he'll never see his friends and anyway he'll have a fabulous child to spend time with! Stay strong.

minimoo90 · Nov 10th, 2009, 13:28 PM

i've been talking to him, the last 2/3 weeks..
i'm not going to stop him doing anything at all, even his boys holidays his having next year, it's not my style to try and trap him..

i'm the one who had to put up with him, comming back pissed, then being sick all through the night and next day, which i felt was soo out of order on me.
and all the reasons his worried about having this baby, are all materialistic, and based on him, not even that i'm almost 19 and am aiming to go to uni. it's all him and his car, holidays and going out.

what hurts the most is that we planned this baby, if i'd of known he'd be like this, i would have stayed on the pill, for longer

x

KA92 · Nov 10th, 2009, 13:49 PM

My oh was the same but after a few weeks and realising i wasnt giving up baby or gona keep him from doing what he wanted to do he came round..

Maybe he liked the thought of a baby and now its happened hes a bit panicked but im sure he will come round..

Your not holding him back...and it takes two to make a baby

good luck wishing you the best

xx

x-dannielle · Nov 10th, 2009, 14:40 PM

hope hes comes round soon hun...dont do anythin you dont want to x

annawrigley · Nov 10th, 2009, 19:18 PM

dont let him pressure you into anything, your child will be your child for life, he on the other hand may not stick around..
i was sure mine would and shock horror he didnt. men are letdowns. please dont base your decision on him, i almost did and i would have regretted it SO much.
keep us updated

xxx

Nov 10th, 2009, 12:57 PM	#1
minimoo90 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 978	anyone still not sure what to do ?? i think i'm having one of those, i don't know if i can do this day My OH keeps going on about, that he isn't sure about if his ready to commit, which keeps putting me on edge, and makes me feel that i shouldn't have this baby, as it'll hold him back.... i just don't want to be blamed for holding him back i know his 27, and tbh if their's anyone who's going to loose anythink and this baby really affects, is me. oh i dunno

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 13:07 PM	#2
Kara1989 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London Posts: 64	Don't let you're OH affect your decision like this, because yes it is a two way decision but your feelings are more important. If you want this baby then do it for you and to be honest he needs to be ready to commit and look after this baby because like it or not this is his baby and this is his responsibility. I spent years thinking I had forced my FOB into a relationship and being a father but then I realised that he was just as much as a party to making of our daughters as I was. Yes both your lives will change but who says it'll be for the worse? My life probably would be completely different if I didn't have Summer and Maxi but I wouldn't change it for a second. If you want this baby, have it and enjoy it. You'll be a wonderful mum and hopefully your OH will step up.

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 13:09 PM	#3
minimoo90 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 978	his just going on, and it's starting to make me feel it's my fault or somethink

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 13:18 PM	#4
Kara1989 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London Posts: 64	You need to talk to him then because that's unfair. I'd just sit him down and explain how you feel about everything. It's incredibly selfish of him to expect you just to do what he wants (at 27 he should know better!). Maybe he's just scared and taking it out on you, so if you talk to him and really include him then maybe he will back off. Maybe if you explain that you want this baby but you're not expecting his whole world to change (just certain things). Obviously every parent gets a night off occasionally so it's not like he'll never see his friends and anyway he'll have a fabulous child to spend time with! Stay strong.

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 13:28 PM	#5
minimoo90 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 978	i've been talking to him, the last 2/3 weeks.. i'm not going to stop him doing anything at all, even his boys holidays his having next year, it's not my style to try and trap him.. i'm the one who had to put up with him, comming back pissed, then being sick all through the night and next day, which i felt was soo out of order on me. and all the reasons his worried about having this baby, are all materialistic, and based on him, not even that i'm almost 19 and am aiming to go to uni. it's all him and his car, holidays and going out. what hurts the most is that we planned this baby, if i'd of known he'd be like this, i would have stayed on the pill, for longer x

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 13:49 PM	#6
KA92 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,412	My oh was the same but after a few weeks and realising i wasnt giving up baby or gona keep him from doing what he wanted to do he came round.. Maybe he liked the thought of a baby and now its happened hes a bit panicked but im sure he will come round.. Your not holding him back...and it takes two to make a baby good luck wishing you the best xx

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 14:40 PM	#7
x-dannielle Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: letchworth/hertfordshire Posts: 866	hope hes comes round soon hun...dont do anythin you dont want to x

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 19:18 PM	#8
annawrigley Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: York, UK Posts: 10,807	dont let him pressure you into anything, your child will be your child for life, he on the other hand may not stick around.. i was sure mine would and shock horror he didnt. men are letdowns. please dont base your decision on him, i almost did and i would have regretted it SO much. keep us updated xxx

Status: Offline

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