ImYourPrinces

Hello Everyone.

This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!

I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)

Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it.

I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!
He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends.
I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back.

After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression.
At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc.

My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.

I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.

Sorry about the long post.
XxX

ImYourPrinces

I feel bad putting him down, as he is a decent person. I can't say he treats me bad and he''d never physically hurt me. He does anything for me, takes me out all the time, and buys me anything i want... But still it's not about those thing's.



Has anyone got advice?

sb22

i discovered at 6 months pregnant that my fiance had been cheating. it shattered my world. 4 days after i found out, I went into premature labour, and my baby was not discharged from hospital until 12 weeks later. No one knows why, but it seems like the stress of my fiances infidelity did not help matters.

i am in a bit of a rut now. I broke off the engagement and its destroyed so much. some days i just want to pack my things and go, but i dont have enough support to go it alone. i feel quite dead inside, and i shouldnt have had to be thinking of what he did when i should have been enjoying my baby.

what im saying is you need to decide now what you want. it will be much harder to backtrack once your baby is here. but if you have agood support network, i really think you should leave. i wish i did.

ImYourPrinces

Aw hun, im so sorry.
Im glad your baby and you are both ok.

Thank you so much for your reply, it's just put things a little more in prospective.
I have a very strong supportive family, so i know i'd have support on that hand.

I hope your well x x x x

annawrigley

caz81

why are you with him? if you feel that the good outweighs the bad then there is hope but if he is cheating on you he clearly does not respect you enough so you should go. I stayed for 5 years in a relationship with a tw*t who cheated on me loads and i never had the courage to go, it seemed easier to stay, in the end i did go and it was the best thing i did, im now with me dh who is wonderful and respects me, at the end of the day you have to do what you want to do but if he is cheating on you why stay with him?

pixydust

you really have to think about both sides of this... if u honestly believe he could change and u can forgive him then i'd stay (if u left ud always wonder "what if...?") and he is the father of ur baby after all. Plus if u do leave, then come back to him, it makes him feel in control of the relationship and that he can do as he likes n u'll always come running back.
if you truly dont think he'll change then leave now! it would be better for the baby to never know mummy and daddy as a couple than to settle into a family then have it torn apart.
its a really tough decision but i wouldnt do anything until ur sure

1st_timer

I'm not actually a teen pregnancy but saw this post and wanted to comment... I hope you don't mind.

I have to say that you need to think long and hard about the situation. It will be hard to have a baby on your own (it is at any age) but this can be over come with the support of your family and friends. However, you might find that it is equally hard to be with someone you can't trust and bring up a baby. Children don't like being in tense environments.

I come at this from two angles really. Firstly I come from a single parent family and my Mum was wonderful - I don't feel I missed out on having a Dad because she was so great. Also your long term BF is legally obliged to help you support your child.

Secondly, a little while ago I started seeing someone who turned out to be married (with 2 children). He had been married for 4 years. He said to me that he couldn't help himself because he liked me so much and that I was the first person he had cheated on his wife with and that he would never do it again because it had been so difficult on both him and I and would have destroyed his wife had she found out. However, I was the first person since he had been married - prior to that there had been loads of women and since me I can't tell you but I can tell you that every now and again I still hear from him when he's drunk and last time I saw him (a year or so after we split) he was still trying it on.

I think Men do change -however since your bf is still texting this girl and arranging to see her - he might not be one of them. Ask yourself if that's what you want?

If you don't think you love him you should get out as soon as you can - if you do then you both need to work on your relationship.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh (or you annoyed because I'm butting in on a forum that I don't really belong to) but I just wanted to share my experience with you.

If you want to PM at all I'd be happy to talk (and I'm not that old I'm only 26!)

Good luck

xxx

lou_w34

Im gate crashing aswell, as im not quite a teen anymore (21)! But....

I found out my ex was cheating when i was around 6 weeks pregnant. I left him. And i can honestly say it was the best thing i have ever done. I am now 35 weeks pregnant, and although i have a few bad days, they are few and far between these days. Apart from the cheating, he was also a terrible bf, never had a nice thing to say to me, everything was always my fault blah blah blah.

He asked me to give him another chance, but i knew i would never ever trust him again. And from then on the relationship was over.

Trust me when i say, staying with him for your sons benefit will not work out.

If you need to pm me feel free Ive been where you were, and the day i decided to pack his bags for him, i finally felt a huge weight of my shoulders!

Good luck with whatever you decide

Dinoslass

Don't really have any advice as I have never been in a situation like this. But seeing it is not the first time he cheat on you I tend to not believe he will actually change. But you will have to think long and hard; do you love him enough to put up with the cheating?, will he change? Will this be a good situation for the baby?
I hope you will be happy with whatever you decide in the end and I want to wish you the best of luck.