6 months pregnant & i think i want to leave my boyfriend - Page 2

lily123 · Nov 10th, 2009, 18:45 PM

Hi Hunni.

I just wanted to offer you my support. Something similar has just happened to me, i found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me for moths when i was around 12/13 weeks pregnant. I left him.

I'm now staying at my Mama's house, where i get so much support from her and the family, not to mention my amazing friends. I've given him until the end of next week to find a new place and move on, he's begging for me back, but i totally agree with you when you said 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' because it's so true!

As for what is best for the baby... i have been asking myself this non-stop since the breakup. If you're not happy with him darling, then you should not be with him. He definitely sounds like an idiot for doing this to you, and just because you are pregnant, it doesn't mean that you have to stay with him.
My mother is a really clever lady, and she said to me 'If you stay with him for the sake of the baby, Lily, you will be ruining three lives instead of two!' and i honestly think it's so true.

Whatever you decide to do, i hope everything gets better for you and you have a healthy, happy pregnancy

Your friend, Lily
xxx

minnieb · Nov 11th, 2009, 14:54 PM

Hey Hun. Again, not a teen anymore (29) but couldn't just read and run bc I've been there too. I think the fact that u even posted this shows that u already know what u want to do. NOBODY should put up with being treated badly, especially by the person who is supposed to love and respect u. The fact that u have a supportive family is great. When I was in a similar situation (although not pregnant) when I was younger, my bf almost seemed like an addiction to me. No matter how badly I was treated, I used to b more determined to 'make him change.' Unfortunately, we can only control our own behaviour. Finally, one day after 6 years, I woke up and realised that I wasn't raised to be in a relationship like that. My parents raised me with tons of love and always worked very hard to give us the best opportunities in life. I sort of decided that not only did I owe it to myself to get rid of the loser, but I also owed it to my family - they didn't raise a pushover. When it comes to your LO, the 2 of u can still both be parents without being together. There is no need for your child to have an unhappy mommy (and apparently your bf isn't too happy either if he finds the need to cheat repeatedly). I would suggest focusing on keeping u and your bump healthy. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without the worry of being cheated on and treated badly. Put u and LO first.

kit603 · Nov 11th, 2009, 21:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImYourPrinces

Hello Everyone.

This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!

I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)

Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it.

I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!
He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends.
I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back.

After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression.
At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc.

My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.

I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.

Sorry about the long post.
XxX

I'm not pregnant but I know crappy boyfriends so I thought i'd offer my thoughts and give you a little support because it really sounds like you need it

It really does sound like he's not going to stop with the cheating. If it was just the one time then I could *maybe* understand but the fact that he is now arranging to meet this same girl and is sending flirty text messages to another just highlights to me that he's not really changed at all. Does he know that you know? What's he said?

I think that if he's doing this again already then its very likely he'll cheat on you again and again and again. I know that he's the father of your baby and that he'll always be "special" to you because of that but that shouldn't give him the right to walk all over you. It sounds like you probably have some self-esteem issues too, but you need to realise that you're better than this and that you deserve better. No man has the right to treat you like this :Nope:

I know you want to do what's best for your Son, but sometimes staying together isn't the best thing. No child wants to grow up watching their mother be put through this kind of thing on a regular basis and the stress isn't going to be good for any of you

Hope things get better

faolan5109 · Nov 26th, 2009, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImYourPrinces

Hello Everyone.

This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!

I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)

Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it.

I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!
He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends.
I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back.

After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression.
At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc.

My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.

I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.

Sorry about the long post.
XxX

OH HUN DON'T!. You can do so much better. If he is going to cheat and treat you in such a manner, how doyou think he'd treat a child. I man who is cheating will start not trusting you and will tell you that YOU are the one cheating not him. This just happend to me with my now ex fiance, I'm not taking him back. And your friends are right, don't take him back. You and your son deserve better.
Not to mention you dont needed a man in your life to help you with your son. Any mom is strong enough to play both roles, especially any one who has gone through the things you have. You are strong

you can do it leave him!

If you need someone to talk to, especially since im going through it right now, im here for you. I'm sure we all are.

bebedawl · Nov 26th, 2009, 11:30 AM

a man can still be a father but if he doesnt fit the role of the man you want to have in YOUR life you shouldnt feel obligated to stay with him. true loves are out there.

to quote friends that was on last night "you didnt marry your barry hunny, but i married mine"....i think its best to know now then later

also i never 'knew' my parents together, and sometimes i think thats best for me than to think of the pain either of them must of went through, you know?

*hugs*

Nov 10th, 2009, 18:45 PM	#11
lily123 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Good old North Yorkshire ;) Posts: 3,372	Hi Hunni. I just wanted to offer you my support. Something similar has just happened to me, i found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me for moths when i was around 12/13 weeks pregnant. I left him. I'm now staying at my Mama's house, where i get so much support from her and the family, not to mention my amazing friends. I've given him until the end of next week to find a new place and move on, he's begging for me back, but i totally agree with you when you said 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' because it's so true! As for what is best for the baby... i have been asking myself this non-stop since the breakup. If you're not happy with him darling, then you should not be with him. He definitely sounds like an idiot for doing this to you, and just because you are pregnant, it doesn't mean that you have to stay with him. My mother is a really clever lady, and she said to me 'If you stay with him for the sake of the baby, Lily, you will be ruining three lives instead of two!' and i honestly think it's so true. Whatever you decide to do, i hope everything gets better for you and you have a healthy, happy pregnancy Your friend, Lily xxx

Status: Offline

Nov 11th, 2009, 14:54 PM	#12
minnieb Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: East Midlands Posts: 77	Hey Hun. Again, not a teen anymore (29) but couldn't just read and run bc I've been there too. I think the fact that u even posted this shows that u already know what u want to do. NOBODY should put up with being treated badly, especially by the person who is supposed to love and respect u. The fact that u have a supportive family is great. When I was in a similar situation (although not pregnant) when I was younger, my bf almost seemed like an addiction to me. No matter how badly I was treated, I used to b more determined to 'make him change.' Unfortunately, we can only control our own behaviour. Finally, one day after 6 years, I woke up and realised that I wasn't raised to be in a relationship like that. My parents raised me with tons of love and always worked very hard to give us the best opportunities in life. I sort of decided that not only did I owe it to myself to get rid of the loser, but I also owed it to my family - they didn't raise a pushover. When it comes to your LO, the 2 of u can still both be parents without being together. There is no need for your child to have an unhappy mommy (and apparently your bf isn't too happy either if he finds the need to cheat repeatedly). I would suggest focusing on keeping u and your bump healthy. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without the worry of being cheated on and treated badly. Put u and LO first.

Status: Offline

Nov 26th, 2009, 11:30 AM	#15
bebedawl Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Toronto Posts: 102	a man can still be a father but if he doesnt fit the role of the man you want to have in YOUR life you shouldnt feel obligated to stay with him. true loves are out there. to quote friends that was on last night "you didnt marry your barry hunny, but i married mine"....i think its best to know now then later also i never 'knew' my parents together, and sometimes i think thats best for me than to think of the pain either of them must of went through, you know? hugs

Status: Offline

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