need some help/advice

aliss · Nov 8th, 2009, 19:24 PM

Hi hun, I'm not a teen but work in policing and have dealt with domestic violence incidents frequently.

You will need to go to court to address custody and visitation issues. You can request supervised visitation but whether or not they grant it is up to a judge (I'm sorry, nobody here can really tell you whether or not it will happen!). If you have any friends that could attest to the anger/domestic violence issues in court then that could help.

The pictures of bruises will almost certainly not be considered as any evidence of domestic violence because those photos could have been taken at any time or anything. This would be a different situation had the police been called and saw the evidence (the actual bruising) at the time. Sorry. There is a great deal of false domestic violence accusations. especially during custody proceedings (he said, she said), so it makes it difficult for real victims to prove anything.

annawrigley · Nov 8th, 2009, 19:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aliss

Hi hun, I'm not a teen but work in policing and have dealt with domestic violence incidents frequently.

You will need to go to court to address custody and visitation issues. You can request supervised visitation but whether or not they grant it is up to a judge (I'm sorry, nobody here can really tell you whether or not it will happen!). If you have any friends that could attest to the anger/domestic violence issues in court then that could help.

The pictures of bruises will almost certainly not be considered as any evidence of domestic violence because those photos could have been taken at any time or anything. This would be a different situation had the police been called and saw the evidence (the actual bruising) at the time. Sorry. There is a great deal of false domestic violence accusations. especially during custody proceedings (he said, she said), so it makes it difficult for real victims to prove anything.

thanks, yeah its just frustrating because i know how much of a psycho he is and what hes capable of but i also know how manipulative he is and how he makes himself seem like such a nice caring guy. well most of my friends know exactly what hes like, cos i told them at the time but could that not seem biased as theyre my friends? also his mum knows he hit me cos she heard him do it and then me crying and came in once, she told me to ring the police but i wouldnt... not sure if she would back me up though, he is her "golden boy" and im pretty sure she'd just deny that ever happening. x

KA92 · Nov 9th, 2009, 11:28 AM

hey didnt wanna run and read

been in a simlilar situation myself with my ex so just wanted to give you a hug soo

I never went to the police...i just wanted to mov eon however, im sure if you alert them plus becasue youv spilt custody can been worked out and you can ask for him to have supervised visits...also, maybe a social worker (there nto all bad in case you though "oh no!") can help by assesing him (not you) and therefore providing more eveidence in your favour

hope this kinda helps

x

Midnight_Fairy · Nov 9th, 2009, 12:46 PM

My ex was violent to me. A claim against him was made at the police station and he was charged.
My son is now 5 and he has never even tryed to get access (my son was 1 when I made the claim) I do worry that one day he may crop up and unfortunatly he has rights as he is on the birth cert :9 grr

If you ex is not on the birth cert it may make it a lil harder for him to get automatic parental rights hunny. Hugs x

Emma.Gi · Nov 10th, 2009, 15:06 PM

I've not been in a similar situation and I am so sorry to hear that he was violent!!

I think you basically have to put across the fact that you want the FOB to see his son but only with supervised access and push that across alot, you shouldn't need a reason if you push it across. I would mention the violence if you feel comfortable mentioning it but if not just say that you wouldn't feel comfortable with your ex seeing your baby unsupervised.

Nov 8th, 2009, 19:02 PM	#1
annawrigley Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: York, UK Posts: 10,807	need some help/advice .

Status: Offline

Nov 8th, 2009, 19:24 PM	#2
aliss AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Elite Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Québec Posts: 14,694	Hi hun, I'm not a teen but work in policing and have dealt with domestic violence incidents frequently. You will need to go to court to address custody and visitation issues. You can request supervised visitation but whether or not they grant it is up to a judge (I'm sorry, nobody here can really tell you whether or not it will happen!). If you have any friends that could attest to the anger/domestic violence issues in court then that could help. The pictures of bruises will almost certainly not be considered as any evidence of domestic violence because those photos could have been taken at any time or anything. This would be a different situation had the police been called and saw the evidence (the actual bruising) at the time. Sorry. There is a great deal of false domestic violence accusations. especially during custody proceedings (he said, she said), so it makes it difficult for real victims to prove anything.

Status: Offline

Nov 9th, 2009, 11:28 AM	#4
KA92 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,412	hey didnt wanna run and read been in a simlilar situation myself with my ex so just wanted to give you a hug soo I never went to the police...i just wanted to mov eon however, im sure if you alert them plus becasue youv spilt custody can been worked out and you can ask for him to have supervised visits...also, maybe a social worker (there nto all bad in case you though "oh no!") can help by assesing him (not you) and therefore providing more eveidence in your favour hope this kinda helps x

Status: Offline

Nov 9th, 2009, 12:46 PM	#5
Midnight_Fairy Other BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Coast UK Posts: 17,212	My ex was violent to me. A claim against him was made at the police station and he was charged. My son is now 5 and he has never even tryed to get access (my son was 1 when I made the claim) I do worry that one day he may crop up and unfortunatly he has rights as he is on the birth cert :9 grr If you ex is not on the birth cert it may make it a lil harder for him to get automatic parental rights hunny. Hugs x

Status: Offline

Nov 10th, 2009, 15:06 PM	#6
Emma.Gi Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: England. Posts: 1,439	I've not been in a similar situation and I am so sorry to hear that he was violent!! I think you basically have to put across the fact that you want the FOB to see his son but only with supervised access and push that across alot, you shouldn't need a reason if you push it across. I would mention the violence if you feel comfortable mentioning it but if not just say that you wouldn't feel comfortable with your ex seeing your baby unsupervised.

Status: Offline

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