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Old Nov 1st, 2009, 15:45 PM   #81
vynneh
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Saskatoon, Canada
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Hey ladies, I have a few questions!

For anyone still in contact with FOB or lets them see your LO, what kinda of regulations or rules do you have set up now or when baby arrives? Or are you not going to have him involved at all? Are you planning on getting child support?

Also, are any of you planning on having him at the birth or visiting you afterward?

For me, I'm about 80% sure I'll be the one cutting off all contact once Beanie arrives. It's been 6 months with nothing but stress and anger. The letdowns and broken promises have reached an all time high and I don't deserve it and neither does my baby when they arrive. I've given him way too many second chances.

The reason I'm keeping contact with him is because of our prenatal agreement in which he's responsible for buying the crib, mattress, change table and travel system; he's also financially responsible for any of my prenatal needs, vitamins, clothes, etc. We have no agreement after that in terms of visitations or child support. Financially I'm stable and money is never going to be an issue, I figure once I get those four items I pull a disappearance act because raising a child isn't about money! (Though I am very, very grateful for his cooperation.)

I'm obviously not having him at the birth either.

It's hard to be strong about this now though! The minute I see Beanie, I'm sure I'll know exactly what to do.


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Old Nov 1st, 2009, 18:42 PM   #82
QuintinsMommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vynneh View Post
Hey ladies, I have a few questions!

For anyone still in contact with FOB or lets them see your LO, what kinda of regulations or rules do you have set up now or when baby arrives? Or are you not going to have him involved at all? Are you planning on getting child support?

Also, are any of you planning on having him at the birth or visiting you afterward?

For me, I'm about 80% sure I'll be the one cutting off all contact once Beanie arrives. It's been 6 months with nothing but stress and anger. The letdowns and broken promises have reached an all time high and I don't deserve it and neither does my baby when they arrive. I've given him way too many second chances.

The reason I'm keeping contact with him is because of our prenatal agreement in which he's responsible for buying the crib, mattress, change table and travel system; he's also financially responsible for any of my prenatal needs, vitamins, clothes, etc. We have no agreement after that in terms of visitations or child support. Financially I'm stable and money is never going to be an issue, I figure once I get those four items I pull a disappearance act because raising a child isn't about money! (Though I am very, very grateful for his cooperation.)

I'm obviously not having him at the birth either.

It's hard to be strong about this now though! The minute I see Beanie, I'm sure I'll know exactly what to do.
I still talk to my FOB sometimes, I plan on letting him see his son, and I want him there for the birth. I plan on getting child support.

maybe someone will come along who's bump is already a baby?:P


 
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Old Nov 1st, 2009, 21:26 PM   #83
vynneh
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Saskatoon, Canada
Posts: 5
Thanks love.

Sometimes I think I'm being too selfish but when I look back at all the shit things he's done to me since getting pregnant, he really doesn't deserve to be part of our lives. I'll never forgive him for leaving me at the ER, bleeding and terrified in my first trimester or the many times he's said to terminate because it would be easier for 'us'. He means HIM. Ugh.


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Old Nov 1st, 2009, 22:11 PM   #84
QuintinsMommy
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do what you think is best for you and your child

your FOB sounds like a beeeep lol


 
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Old Nov 1st, 2009, 22:33 PM   #85
vynneh
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Saskatoon, Canada
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Yeah, he's a real winner. *rolls eyes*

How's your relationship with the FOB? (If you don't mind me asking?)


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Old Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:54 AM   #86
EmziixBo0o
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vynneh ur FOB sounds like my FOB !
wanted me 2 get rid
finished with me
everything! i dont know what is going on with him anymore, keeps messing me around and the only thing hes intrested in at the min is goin clubbin all the time xx


 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2009, 08:13 AM   #87
QuintinsMommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vynneh View Post
Yeah, he's a real winner. *rolls eyes*

How's your relationship with the FOB? (If you don't mind me asking?)
stressed haha
we dated for a month, then broke up then 2 weeks later I found out i was pregnant. We just started talking again, and I have no idea whats going on lol, we were fighting yesterday and worked some more things out but I'm still very confused hahaha and he starts school with me wednesday which will be very weird.


 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2009, 08:14 AM   #88
QuintinsMommy
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Men suck! :P


 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:20 AM   #89
EmziixBo0o
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i hate men
so heartless


 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2009, 14:29 PM   #90
Mummy.To.Be
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: UK, England, Peterborough
Posts: 784
My FOB is a complete A**hole to be completely honest.

Because I'm a nice person, I'm in 2 minds on whether to let him have contact
with my LO. He came to the 20 week scan after his mum FORCED him to. Then
said that he wants to be a part of her life and wants to be there at the birth
and all that but I've not heard anything from him since that day. I left it at
"we'll see what happens nearer the time" but he's more interested in his new
gf and all that rather than to ask how the LO is growing and things.

From the way he treated me when we were together - I'd be crazy to let him
get involved with her when she's born. However I don't think it's fair for me to
stop her seeing her daddy and family. If i bring her up right then she'll know
whats wrong and right for herself. I think I'm gonna put it to him that he can
see her on the condition of supervised visits only, but I dunno yet.

x


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