I agree with you all, definately the bit bout younger teens needing more reassurance and support to realise that its not all downwards spiral from here on !!! Some encouragement can work wonders.

I found out I was pregnant only a few days after I turned 20. I don't remember the big burst of knowledge I got on that day, but I do agree that people in this day and age are getting biased towards teen mums. Especially when you go back 20 odd years people were barefoot and pregnant with they're 3rd or even more child when they were 20's. When did everything get turned around so much?
On that same note, why do people automatically think that your wasting your life by having a child? I don't intend to sit around and be a house-wife after the birth of my child. I'm going to pursue my dreams, because it will give my child someone to look up to and respect.

I still think it is wrong for 12-14 year olds to have babies.
A girl who is 16 and older is much more capable of taking care of the kid.

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! Been there, done that, and not long ago (I'm 20 now, preg with #2). But on MY end- it hasn't really gotten better since no longer being a "teen mom". Except that people shut the hell up because the whole "it's going to be so hard" shit is pointless for them to say when they know I already freaking know because I have one kiddo already! But I STILL don't get any respect from my family. I have less issues with people I don't know because they can't tell how old I am (look older in person than I really am), and because we're so comfortable dealing with our daughter that people assume we're older anyway. GEEZ bad topic- I could absolutely bitch about the age thing forever! I didn't have my daughter at 17 on purpose, and for us it HAS been hard as hell (financially) but DAMN do I get mad when people point out that I'm "too young to be a mommy". It makes me want to scream (or cry, lately, lol).

Thanks for this post snugglemuffin - I think it will be reassuring for a lot of people, who are unfairly made to think that they will struggle a great deal more with pregnancy, and that they are unfit to be a parent because they are a teen...

I don't personally feel I've been judged too much for falling pregnant... but then I am married and my husband is 25, so it's not entirely a typical or entirely 'teen' pregnancy. I do however think I have had a different experience of pregnancy based on my age to some degree... I mostly noticed this in the difference between people's reactions to my husband breaking the news, and to me breaking the news... My husband got nothing but "Wow congratulations!" and "Oooh when's it due? - Have you thought of any names?" wheras when I first told people I was pregnant, a lot of the reactions that I was met with were full of uncertainty and something I'm not quite sure of... sympathy, perhaps? The first question most people asked me was not when it was due or whether I was excited, but whether I was going to be keeping it! Until I made it clear that it was a positive thing, and that I would indeed be keeping the baby, there were no congratulations or anything like that... like being under 20 automatically makes the pregnancy a negative thing and means you'd consider terminating it...

I think it's good to remind ourselves every now and then, that we are no less capable of being a good parent than someone a few years older than ourselves - or 10 years older! The differences we experience in pregnancy, and the judgements that are passed on us, are no reflection of our ability to have and raise a child, but of a stupid, and far outdated social stigma.

Although in many cases teen pregnancies are not concieved in the most ideal situations, in some ways this gives us something extra to be proud of; our babies may not have been planned, and we may be facing a challenge that will completely turn our future plans upsidedown, and we have to do so knowing that coping financially, emotionally and physically will be 10 times more difficult (to say the least) than we could have hoped for in more 'ideal' circumstances - say if we'd been a few years older and a bit more settled and on our feet, but we take it all as it comes, we take responsibility for our actions and we brave all of these challenges (with the judgementalness of others thrown on top!) - If anything, being a teenage mum gives you even more to be proud of than just being a mum does. I think it's about time people started to acknowledge this.

I definately agree with you here. A girl who is 14 or under is so young herself. I didn't even get my period until I was about then (lucky me!). Personally I would freak if I found out my daughter was having sex that young. They are still growing, man, most probably wouldn't even have a mound of hair.

I think most people would agree that something wrong must have taken place for a very, very young (child) teenager to have fallen pregnant. However when it does happen, you can't change the fact that that child has had sexual intercourse, all that we can do for these young teenagers, if we want to be of any help at all, is to support them, and help them to explore their options, and to reassure them that the future is not a downward spiral from here on out and their life is most certainly not over because they have become a parent.

I feel there should be alot less taboo over young mums aged 16 + as 16 is the legal age to have sex! I think it is wrong for seriously young children i would call them to have children. I am 18 and trying to concieve with my partener of nearly two years.

My mum works for social and there are some bad parents who are neglectfull! But to be honest most of them are older people!!! JUst because your young does not mean you cannot handle it or are going to be a bad parent i mean its doesnt matter what age as long are you love your children and care for them properly.