Dna testing/prenatal tests? - Page 3

mummy0704 · Sep 8th, 2009, 10:52 AM

hi dont know if this will help but if u get in touch with csa as soon as babies here, they will do blood tests for you, then if babies his he has to pay them back for test if its not his nobody pays for it. there results r back within a week, a friend of mine had this done a couple of months back.

HotChocolate · Sep 8th, 2009, 10:54 AM

"If i dont do it though he will just take it that its not his .. he prob would pay for it but i know it would be easier for me to just get it done with tbh .. i dont mind paying i havent got loads of money.."

I got as far as there and stopped reading. I can understand why you feel you must provide a DNA test but seriously, don't waste your money when that tit could buy one himself?! He shouldn't be putting you through this, you've got plenty on your plate as it is, i'd really lay into him if i was you.. Put him in his place. If you do what he says and wants now he'll only assume you're a walk over and that is NOT what you want from your baby's father, especially when you're not together.

Okay i just read about the birth certificate, why can't you just put his name on it anyway? It's not like he can say "NO..Get my name off of there now!" is it?

Good luck anyway, i hope everything works out for you hunni xxx

Becyboo__x · Sep 8th, 2009, 11:15 AM

Cause if i put him on it anyway.. he will have to pay for the baby .. and as he doesnt believe its even his he wont want to be paying for a kid that isnt his if you get me ..
ill figure something out eventually... he does walk all over me.. and i let him cause i love him still and he got a new gf within a week of ending with me and telling me he stil loves me :S and since that we havent really spoke he talked to me at 16weeks pregnant and said hes glad iv got this far .. and then yesterday he sent me a message asking me if im having a boy or girl .. and i wasnt even guna tell him but i did and he was like really happy and saying "oh im guna have a little boy of my own" "well if he is mine that is" .. but he keept saying love you to me and putting (<3s) at the end of messages which i found strange but im not thinking hell come back to me cause i just get my hopes up and ill only get upset not worth the stress is it .. but i think alot of people know what its like to be in love with somone and planning to get engaged this year and moving in together.. holiday next year for bubs first holiday with us :'( i think back and it hurts alot.. but he told me hes happy with his new gf now dont see how he could just leave me and his unborn son for a girl who gets called a tramp and slag cause she sleeps around and basically has a bad rep.. went from perfect with me and him to nothing heartbraking it really is
xx

bexie1985 · Sep 8th, 2009, 11:32 AM

o my god!! i nearly cried reading your threads! im not a teen, although was when i had my first. How dare this BOY treat you like this, your mum must be going spare!! i have no advise as i know nothing about how to go about getting dna tests etc, but i just wanted to send u a masive hug. xx

Becyboo__x · Sep 8th, 2009, 11:57 AM

i was that stressed when he ended it with me i nearly lost baby aswel .. i couldnt get my self sorted i just couldnt think or anything he proper messed me up and after all that he just turned violent towards me and drank everyday .. iv got my self round alot of things now i still think about him and stuff obviously but i try not too .. got to think about my lil boy now and i know hardly anything about dna's either but my ex doesnt deserve to be a dad after doing what he has to me he changed as soon as we ended he wasnt even the same guy anymore just turned from the lad of my dreams and the one i could see the future with to a total stranger

thanks hunny xx

kit603 · Sep 8th, 2009, 12:27 PM

Seriously hun, I know that its very hard for you but from everything you've said this boy (he's not a man by anymeans!) does NOT deserve you and I hope that should he ever try to come crawling back to you, you have the strength to tell him no and walk away. As you've already said:

- he started drinking and became violent
- he left you for no good reason
- he says he loves you whilst he has a girlfriend (so what's to stop him doing the same to you behind your back if you got back together)
- he puts you through a lot of stress
- he doesn't even believe the baby is his
- he can't make up his mind whether he wants the baby or not!

You've already said the most important two things of all:

"got to think about my lil boy now" and "my ex doesnt deserve to be a dad"

Becyboo__x · Sep 8th, 2009, 12:30 PM

Thanx i know its all bad stuff but i dont see why he has started to be all nice to me again asking me if im okay and saying he hopes im being careful and relaxing and keeping well :S and hes like dead interested in the baby now i just can see him coming back when my lil boy is born and i cant have all the stress again spesh with him argueing with me he will end up wanting to take him straight away to spend time with him and im scared i wont even have time to bond with my baby he can obviously see him i havent got a problem with it at all.. but he drinks at weekends and works/college in week so hes guna have to change alot!
x

kit603 · Sep 8th, 2009, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Becyboo__x

Thanx i know its all bad stuff but i dont see why he has started to be all nice to me again asking me if im okay and saying he hopes im being careful and relaxing and keeping well :S and hes like dead interested in the baby now i just can see him coming back when my lil boy is born and i cant have all the stress again spesh with him argueing with me he will end up wanting to take him straight away to spend time with him and im scared i wont even have time to bond with my baby he can obviously see him i havent got a problem with it at all.. but he drinks at weekends and works/college in week so hes guna have to change alot!
x

Just make that very clear to him from the start, and if he doesn't change deny him visitation. Then, if it ever goes as far as court that's exactly what you need to tell them - you're worried because he had a drinking problem and was violent to you whilst you were pregnant and don't want that kind of character around the baby. Then say, you'll be happy for supervised visits

AtomicPink · Sep 8th, 2009, 12:38 PM

And tell them to shut up about his 'strong genes' what a load of crap!

Becyboo__x · Sep 8th, 2009, 13:25 PM

I told him this.. i said baby will look like both of us .. maybe 1 of us abit more .. as i look more like my mum and my sister looks more like my dad.. lol but i wasnt agrueing with him he keep saying that when i was with him and his was like my mum told me :S i was like ok then.. but it makes sense why hes being like this cause its exactly like his dad.. he hasnt seen his dad in years either and he hates him .. but i wouldnt want my kid to hate his dad tbh . but if he carries on way he is then babys not guna like him when hes older x

Sep 8th, 2009, 10:52 AM	#21
mummy0704 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: huddersfield Posts: 2,130	hi dont know if this will help but if u get in touch with csa as soon as babies here, they will do blood tests for you, then if babies his he has to pay them back for test if its not his nobody pays for it. there results r back within a week, a friend of mine had this done a couple of months back.

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 10:54 AM	#22
HotChocolate Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Northampton Posts: 274	"If i dont do it though he will just take it that its not his .. he prob would pay for it but i know it would be easier for me to just get it done with tbh .. i dont mind paying i havent got loads of money.." I got as far as there and stopped reading. I can understand why you feel you must provide a DNA test but seriously, don't waste your money when that tit could buy one himself?! He shouldn't be putting you through this, you've got plenty on your plate as it is, i'd really lay into him if i was you.. Put him in his place. If you do what he says and wants now he'll only assume you're a walk over and that is NOT what you want from your baby's father, especially when you're not together. Okay i just read about the birth certificate, why can't you just put his name on it anyway? It's not like he can say "NO..Get my name off of there now!" is it? Good luck anyway, i hope everything works out for you hunni xxx

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 11:15 AM	#23
Becyboo__x Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 6,544	Cause if i put him on it anyway.. he will have to pay for the baby .. and as he doesnt believe its even his he wont want to be paying for a kid that isnt his if you get me .. ill figure something out eventually... he does walk all over me.. and i let him cause i love him still and he got a new gf within a week of ending with me and telling me he stil loves me :S and since that we havent really spoke he talked to me at 16weeks pregnant and said hes glad iv got this far .. and then yesterday he sent me a message asking me if im having a boy or girl .. and i wasnt even guna tell him but i did and he was like really happy and saying "oh im guna have a little boy of my own" "well if he is mine that is" .. but he keept saying love you to me and putting (<3s) at the end of messages which i found strange but im not thinking hell come back to me cause i just get my hopes up and ill only get upset not worth the stress is it .. but i think alot of people know what its like to be in love with somone and planning to get engaged this year and moving in together.. holiday next year for bubs first holiday with us :'( i think back and it hurts alot.. but he told me hes happy with his new gf now dont see how he could just leave me and his unborn son for a girl who gets called a tramp and slag cause she sleeps around and basically has a bad rep.. went from perfect with me and him to nothing heartbraking it really is xx

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 11:32 AM	#24
bexie1985 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Suffolk, England Posts: 2,325	o my god!! i nearly cried reading your threads! im not a teen, although was when i had my first. How dare this BOY treat you like this, your mum must be going spare!! i have no advise as i know nothing about how to go about getting dna tests etc, but i just wanted to send u a masive hug. xx

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 11:57 AM	#25
Becyboo__x Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 6,544	i was that stressed when he ended it with me i nearly lost baby aswel .. i couldnt get my self sorted i just couldnt think or anything he proper messed me up and after all that he just turned violent towards me and drank everyday .. iv got my self round alot of things now i still think about him and stuff obviously but i try not too .. got to think about my lil boy now and i know hardly anything about dna's either but my ex doesnt deserve to be a dad after doing what he has to me he changed as soon as we ended he wasnt even the same guy anymore just turned from the lad of my dreams and the one i could see the future with to a total stranger thanks hunny xx

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 12:27 PM	#26
kit603 Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Nottinghamshire Posts: 3,300	Seriously hun, I know that its very hard for you but from everything you've said this boy (he's not a man by anymeans!) does NOT deserve you and I hope that should he ever try to come crawling back to you, you have the strength to tell him no and walk away. As you've already said: - he started drinking and became violent - he left you for no good reason - he says he loves you whilst he has a girlfriend (so what's to stop him doing the same to you behind your back if you got back together) - he puts you through a lot of stress - he doesn't even believe the baby is his - he can't make up his mind whether he wants the baby or not! You've already said the most important two things of all: "got to think about my lil boy now" and "my ex doesnt deserve to be a dad"

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 12:30 PM	#27
Becyboo__x Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 6,544	Thanx i know its all bad stuff but i dont see why he has started to be all nice to me again asking me if im okay and saying he hopes im being careful and relaxing and keeping well :S and hes like dead interested in the baby now i just can see him coming back when my lil boy is born and i cant have all the stress again spesh with him argueing with me he will end up wanting to take him straight away to spend time with him and im scared i wont even have time to bond with my baby he can obviously see him i havent got a problem with it at all.. but he drinks at weekends and works/college in week so hes guna have to change alot! x

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 12:38 PM	#29
AtomicPink Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 19,122	And tell them to shut up about his 'strong genes' what a load of crap!

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2009, 13:25 PM	#30
Becyboo__x Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 6,544	I told him this.. i said baby will look like both of us .. maybe 1 of us abit more .. as i look more like my mum and my sister looks more like my dad.. lol but i wasnt agrueing with him he keep saying that when i was with him and his was like my mum told me :S i was like ok then.. but it makes sense why hes being like this cause its exactly like his dad.. he hasnt seen his dad in years either and he hates him .. but i wouldnt want my kid to hate his dad tbh . but if he carries on way he is then babys not guna like him when hes older x

Status: Offline

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