I haven't posted on here before and i thought i would start here. I had my little boy when i was 17. He is now 5 and at school . I thought i would tell you how it went for me as it might help any of you who are scared or confused.
Me and my partner broke up a couple of weeks before i found out i was pregnant. We had been together for two years before we broke up and we were still close. I actually did my pregnancy test in Morrisons Loo's as i couldn't face doing it at home. I had had a miscarriage a year previously to finding out this time i was pregnant and it took me a month to tell my dad that i thought i might be. This time i was convinced the same would happen and i would loose the baby so i told only my best friend who was with me at the time, however my dad worked it out and sprang the question on me while giving me a lift somewhere. I actually considered termination and told my dad that was the decision i had made. My dad was with me no matter what i decided but was very upset i would consider termination (he discussed with my older brother but never told me) i actually got to the stage of getting the scan to see how far along i was and wether a termination would be possible. I was convinced i had already lost the baby but i saw the tech doing the ultrasound smile and i knew i couldn't do it so i left the hospital and told my dad i was going to have my baby!! I told my family and friends at 12 weeks when everything was confirmed as fine and going well.
After a while my friends dropped off a bit as i couldn't go out or do pretty much anything they were doing but my best friend tried and stuck with me although we didn't see much of each other. Everything was new and i didn't have a clue how to look after a baby or what being pregnant involved. I did learn though and coped although labour was super scary and long (9lb 10oz baby) i got through it!
My ex partner was also with me through the whole thing and we decided on the rules and how things would work before Joshua was born. We remained friends and he stayed with me for the first month to help me take care of the baby, as he was brought up with 5 brothers and sisters and he was the oldest he knew allot more than i did, and gave me all the support i needed. Joshua has never gone a week without seeing his dad even though we both have our own partners and he has a baby girl with his fiance and me and my partner who will have been together for 4 and a half years are expecting our first baby together.
It is hard work maintaining a relationship when a teenager anyway let alone when there is a pregnancy and then a baby! People can however tell you that your life is over and once you have had a baby there is nothing else you can do. It's crap! From being a part time barmaid where i had to lie about my age i am now doing a degree in animation i work in the tax office, i have a house and a car of my own (after starting out on the homeless register and getting a council house as a single parent with no education or employment!) Most of all i have a fantastic little boy who i love more than anything else in the world!
You can do it, it gets scary but many have done it before you and many will do it after! Mines off to school now and was the narrator in his christmas play this week. Its not always ideal but it will be the best thing that ever happened to you!!
Apologies for rambling and the bits that don't make sense but hope it helps a lil x
Very nice story - it's great that you can get on well with your ex to give your little one a strong, loving upbringing.
I know im not REALLY young (im 21) but your story made me feel much more positive. I think I am very lucky anyway as I have a very lovely boyfriend who is always so helpful and we love our little girl loads. It was a bit daunting for us at first too (we were both 19 when we found out we were expecting). We live with my boyfriends family, 3 of us in the 1 bedroom (we have a lot of stuff and severe storage problem lol) and I was saying earlier "how the hell are we going to afford our own place?, you see these women on these forums.. 20 years old with a house, car, bla bla" lol. I also don't feel confident in myself at the moment, id love to study and get a nice little part time job next year..!
Your story is really heartwarming. It's nice to see that you and your ex get along so well. I'm 18 will be 19 when my boy is born, my boyfriend is 23, and it gets really hard sometimes. We will have been together for 3 years right around the time he is born. We live with his mom and her boyfriend, which strains everything in our relationship because they are very nosy/bitchy people. However, we have purchased a trailer and have started setting it up on his moms land, it will be paid off, and even though it will be next door to his mom at least we will have some peace and quiet. I worry about the time after the baby is born. I know it's probably my hormones and stuff, but I worry about the stress of the baby-- if we will make it though it; and I worry about the fact that I just wont look the same after having a baby and if he will still be attracted to me at all. He tells me not to worry about it, so I try not to think about it at all. To top that all off, he works full time and is gone from dark to dark; and I work part time and go to school full time.
Anyways, sorry for rambling. Your story is really inspiring and glad you shared!
Thanks to all for comenting, Its nice to know it helped
i started out the same way everyone in one bedroom before i got the council house and it does take longer but you can do anything anyone without kids can do! college and work gave me a confidence boost and if i hadn't met my OH aka Chocolate bear/adam i dont know where i would be now it sometimes scares the crap out of me that i could have let him go. As i was convinced he could never want me with another mans baby. You've already got your guy too
Relationships were meant for two people so parents of anyone always make it difficult more so when there not yours! I was terrified i was going to leave my baby and do a runner like my mum did. You can cope. the fact that you worry about it means you re preparing for the worst (much worse than it will probably be) It is a strain on relationships when they are born but you both get a trial run with your hormones. The intyweb is awsome for when your bored shitless at home without daddy to be too!
we will all get there in the end because we want better for our lil ones i think. If we can't then no one can!
Last edited by snugglemuffin : 21-12-2007 at 00:05 AM.
Thanks to all for comenting, Its nice to know it helped
i started out the same way everyone in one bedroom before i got the council house and it does take longer but you can do anything anyone without kids can do! college and work gave me a confidence boost and if i hadn't met my OH aka Chocolate bear/adam i dont know where i would be now it sometimes scares the crap out of me that i could have let him go. As i was convinced he could never want me with another mans baby. You've already got your guy too
Relationships were meant for two people so parents of anyone always make it difficult more so when there not yours! I was terrified i was going to leave my baby and do a runner like my mum did. You can cope. the fact that you worry about it means you re preparing for the worst (much worse than it will probably be) It is a strain on relationships when they are born but you both get a trial run with your hormones. The intyweb is awsome for when your bored shitless at home without daddy to be too!
we will all get there in the end because we want better for our lil ones i think. If we can't then no one can!
yer thanks im onli 16 and im so scared and that story has realli put my mind at rest. thanks again heather xx baby.png
This story is ace! You've done so well. I am only 18 and due in just under 8 weeks, and i am soooo scared at the minute. My boyfriends family do my head in and I try my hardest to avoid seeing them otherwise they get on at me. But i've got a wicked family, who are being really really supportive and they love my boyriend to bits! I have no idea what to expect when I go into labour or what to do. I hope it all comes together soon lol!!!
Sorry for rambling on.
Alex & lil pink bump xx
I loved ur story that reminds me of my love life but we were together for almost a year now hes jst enjoying life and barly here hes off with his friends alot and dsnt really call much to me he dsnt seem like a gd father right now i mean he did buy her some things and her stroller but other than that i dnt seem him at all really he was the one who wanted a family and now that he found out he was gnna have a kid he whent crazy and later on broke up with me he wasnt like that before cuz before when we thought i was pregnant he was excited and after a couple months and hangin out with his friends he didnt want a family to me i think it was his friends puttin things in his head sayin that a baby can ruin ur life but im actually happy that im having this baby cuz now i kno who he really is and wld take his friends advice over me and not want to be a family but thats ok cuz now im tlkin to someone whos really sweet and actually asks me how the babys doin and calls everyday is gd enough for me so it dsnt really matter anymore =D
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. I thought i would tell you how it went for me as it might help any of you who are scared or confused.
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