Hi Everyone!

New to this site - I'm 18, My boyfriend is 20 and i am 10 weeks pregnant. I have not told my parents yet, however my boyfriend told his, they were brilliant about it and said that these things happen and they want to support us in any way they can! not the reaction we were expecting. Completely put me at ease and i began to feel happy about my pregnancy. However when it comes to telling my parents it will not be that reaction... Im terrified... See when i was 15 i fell pregnant and i told my mother when i was 12weeks - i found out when i was 4 weeks. She and my father were, as you can imagine, not at all happy! My mum booked an abortion and would not speak to me until i had gone through with it. It was the worst time of my life and i wish i could undo it. Even just a little support from my parents would have been nice. But nothing. Even my best friend was against me having an abortion so i felt completely alone. I think this is why i am findin it so difficult to tell them now, i have completely 100% decided to keep the baby and im afraid they will react the same - I'm afraid to lose my family in order to start my own.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as i am under so much pressure at the moment!!!

Thanks

You're 18 now- an adult, not 14 anymore (a child still) so they should react better. This time you know to do what feels right for you, not to be pressured into anything by your parents because of that experience ... and if your parents don't like it, you at least have the support of your boyfriend's family. I'm sure that eventually they'd come around though, things usually work themselves out one way or another before the baby arrives.. my dad wanted me to have an abortion and was a total asshole to me when I was pregnant and said some awful things.. and still does say mean things to ME, but is a big suck for my baby & my parents do a lot to help me, my daughter & OH.

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice as such. I just wanted to lend you some support - you sound like you need it right now.

Is it possible that, even if they don't understand immediately, your parents will come around once they see you being a great mother to your baby? Perhaps you need to lean more towards your boyfriend and his parents until your own parents can be won over. Am I just naive on this?

Good luck!

^ My BF's parents reacted much better than my own initially, though neither reacted BADLY (I expected yelling and I hate yous and you're idiots, etc).. so we spent more time at his place for the first while. We went out a lot while I was pregnant because there was a bit of tension at home at my house

Thanks For Your replies both of you!

Tasha - Yeah i understand that i am an adult and i know how i feel however i am not the kind of person who likes confrontation and i prefer to keep things to myself rather than share them, this is why i am so scared i suppose this is something i have to do and ishould just get on with it. I just need to keep thinking positively. thanks so much for your help. x


jomomma - thanks for the support you arre right i really do need it now more than ever - to me it jus seems like everyone is nagging me when someone finds out i am pregnant the first thing they say is "have you told your mum?" then the second thing "when are you going to tell her" it is driving me insane haha! think im gonna have a chat with her very soon - i need to be strong and you have helped me x

The other two girls said basically all I was going to say. I just wanted to let you know, I'm here if you'd like some support. I'm 18 and pregnant with my second baby, who's due on August 25. My boyfriend's parents really had no reaction this time and my mom completely flew off the handle. I've been kicked out of my house three times since then, but she always has me come back. I just go stay at my boyfriend's for a week or two and things seem to settle. When I got pregnant with my son, she reacted pretty much the same way, but now she absolutely loves him. Same with my grandma, who really pushed for abortion. But everyone came around and my son is spoiled by all three sets of grandparents (my parents are divorced) and his great grandparents. Not to mention his aunts and uncles.

Sorry for the life story. lol. I'm just saying things could turn around. And it's great that your OH's family is being supportive. That's a big thing in itself. If you ever wanna chat, PM me.

Congrats, by the way.

aidensxmomma thanks for your story, it has helped me and dont worry bout your life stories the more the better!!! i could see my mum reacting like that i just need a big kick up the bloody arse to go and tell her lol im getting more and more mad with myself the longer i leave it!

mummah2be,
i completely know how your feeling as im in the exact same boat, apart from the fact i havent spoke to my mum since new years day, i walked out a week after that, packed my bags and moved into my OH's. i still havent told her im pregnant as i have had threatening txts off her. however my OH' family have been excellent and really happy bout the baby. im 19 but i know she will flip when she finds out but i dont really care anymore, ive got my baby to think of now and im going to protect it and look out for it and nothing she says could change my mind. im going to write her a letter to explain after ive had my scan, that way she can think before getting in touch. speak to your oh's family, i know mine give me so much support and at least their on your side. they will come around in the end once they realize what this baby means to you. my baby is only gunna have 1 grandparent, (my dads dead and my OHs parents are both dead) so if she doesn't want to be a the best grandmother then its her thats missing out. your old enough to make your own decisions, make plan of how your going to pay for things, what your going to do etc, show them how your going to take responsibility for your baby and they cant throw that in your face. you never know they could react really well, your not a child any more. tell them as soon as you can, then you will feel so much better. good luck hun x x x

danniemum2be,
thanks for your reply, i am sorry to hear about your situation, with your mum, i hope everything works out well for you and i agree that it is her loss if she dooes not want to be the best grandmother! If you dont mind me asking, How come you left? I wont say me and my mother are the closest of people we are by far not, but i know we do love each other we argue and fight like cat and dog because we are so stubborn - me and my father get on ok - we hardley every argue and when we do it is forgotten in the morning! my MIL spoke to me earlier today she asked me if i was sure this is what i wanted - she was genuinely concerned for me, not trying to push or anything. i said i was sure this is what i wanted but it made me think. maybe i haven't come to terms with the pregnancy myself yet - thats why im findin it so hard telling my mum. Anyway good luck with your scan! you'll love your first one!!! and good luck with your mum! xxx

i left because it been constant fighting for 4 years weve never really had that bond, was always a daddys girl. anyway she didnt like the fact i was almost 19 and beggining to spread my wings, was trying to keep me in all the time, treated me like i was still 15, anyway she was starting to turn quite hostile and threatening, thats when i left and why i dont particularly want to tell her. i know she deserves to know im just waiting to make sure bubs is ok b4 i do x x x