Bit of a rant about people who judge teenage or young mothers

Katieeeee · Jun 6th, 2009, 11:13 AM

Hellooo teenage mums,

I'm not a teenage mum myself but I just wanna say how irritating it is that people are so judgemental and opinionated and bitchy about young mothers

it really drives me crazy. As long as you're a good mother and want the best for your baby then what does age matter?!

If people aren't getting slagged off for having a baby at 66, they're getting slagged off for having a baby whilst they're a teenager...and yet there are mothers who have babies at what "society" sees as an acceptable age...and then they abuse them (cough...baby P....cough)

If God didn't want us to have babies young then surely he wouldn't have given us the ability to!?

AND....in the "olden" days....weren't women getting married and having babies when they were still teenagers??

SIGH, everyone on this planet is entitled to their opinions but to actually force it on you or other people makes me SICK. Bloody humans!

Anyway I have a hell of a lot of respect for you all and wish you all the best in motherhood!

xxxx

AppleBlossom · Jun 6th, 2009, 11:20 AM

I know I'm a teen mum myself but I also admire other teen mums. I don't get slagged off really but I know when people find out I'm a single teen mum living on benefits they raise their eyebrows as if to say "Oh, another one!" They don't know that I'm an excellent mother, my child is happy and healthy and very well looked after and loved. I'm single because my ex didn't have the balls to tell me the truth from the very begining. And I can't wait to go to college and study to get a good job because I absolutely hate living on benefits. But if people want to make a snap judgement at face value then I don't care. Me, my baby and my friends and family all know I do an excellent job and that's all that matters. Unfortunately there are some young girls who give us a bad name but there always will be. And like you said a good lot of us teen mums are 10 times better parents than some 30+ mums!

sexymummy18 · Jun 6th, 2009, 11:34 AM

totally agree, im 18,got a decent job and own place and fantastic partner im very lucky

but i live in a town full of mainly old people and some of the looks i get from them make me soooo angry! i would prefer it if people said any comments to my face can get very annoying lol well rant over.! x

Jade--x · Jun 6th, 2009, 12:47 PM

I get loads of people judging me for being a single teen mum..even people that KNOW Im a good mum still go on rants at me for no reason (jealousy more than anything) like one of my close friends the other day. And when people add me on msn the first thing they say is 'you with babys father' soon as you say no thats it they assume you're a sleep around and you dont know who it is!! (I do its a long story!) Really annoys me too!! Specially seeing as Im not the kind of person, even before I had my LO to go out anywhere or go out down town getting drunk and things..I know lots of teens do, and lots of teen mums do not saying its wrong just my personal preference (had bad experience)

Aidan's Mummy · Jun 6th, 2009, 12:49 PM

We get used to it hun

xx

teen mummy · Jun 6th, 2009, 13:22 PM

ano it bugs me too but you just get used to it and again if they dont go on about people having babies at 66 why do they do it with us! (it least we can have more time with them haha)
xxx

mazy · Jun 6th, 2009, 13:36 PM

If anything teen mums should be praised for raising a child and not running away or choosing other options.

Katieeeee · Jun 6th, 2009, 14:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazy

If anything teen mums should be praised for raising a child and not running away or choosing other options.

That's a very valid point!

Sarahkka · Jun 6th, 2009, 14:48 PM

People like to feel superior somehow and they pick on the easiest and most obvious targets. It's very ignorant and I can imagine that being the target of it must make your blood boil.
Some of it may come from a kinder (though still condescending) place, though. I think some might be concerned for a young person with so much responsibility so soon in life? That's usually my thought as an older mum. It doesn't mean I am thinking less of the young woman (how could I? I don't know the first thing about her situation.), it's more like I wonder if I found some motherhood stuff hard with a supportive husband and all the rest of the stuff you are "supposed" to have, how is she coping? I don't mean it to sound pitying - it's more sympathetic. And I hope I would have better manners than to ever look down my nose at anyone. Half the time when I leave the house now, my hair looks like it was licked in place by a cat. I'm in no position to point fingers!

tasha41 · Jun 6th, 2009, 16:13 PM

Honestly I've never really encountered much of this.. I got pregnant when I was 18 & had Elyse at 19. I was working at McDonald's FFS when I was pregnant! But it drives me nuts that some of you ladies do. So many of you guys do things I can't even dream of doing.. living on your own with your child (without a partner).. going to high school.. etc.

Social assistance programs are in place for a reason. Honestly it's baffling to me how anyone could think less of you for taking the help you need to raise your child! Even the people scamming the system and what not.. while it irks me a little, the children in those situations didn't ask for it and deserve help.. so yeahh just my two cents there hehe

ladies!!

Jun 6th, 2009, 11:13 AM	#1
Katieeeee Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 3,426	Bit of a rant about people who judge teenage or young mothers Hellooo teenage mums, I'm not a teenage mum myself but I just wanna say how irritating it is that people are so judgemental and opinionated and bitchy about young mothers it really drives me crazy. As long as you're a good mother and want the best for your baby then what does age matter?! If people aren't getting slagged off for having a baby at 66, they're getting slagged off for having a baby whilst they're a teenager...and yet there are mothers who have babies at what "society" sees as an acceptable age...and then they abuse them (cough...baby P....cough) If God didn't want us to have babies young then surely he wouldn't have given us the ability to!? AND....in the "olden" days....weren't women getting married and having babies when they were still teenagers?? SIGH, everyone on this planet is entitled to their opinions but to actually force it on you or other people makes me SICK. Bloody humans! Anyway I have a hell of a lot of respect for you all and wish you all the best in motherhood! xxxx

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 11:20 AM	#2
AppleBlossom Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Liverpool, UK Posts: 25,860	I know I'm a teen mum myself but I also admire other teen mums. I don't get slagged off really but I know when people find out I'm a single teen mum living on benefits they raise their eyebrows as if to say "Oh, another one!" They don't know that I'm an excellent mother, my child is happy and healthy and very well looked after and loved. I'm single because my ex didn't have the balls to tell me the truth from the very begining. And I can't wait to go to college and study to get a good job because I absolutely hate living on benefits. But if people want to make a snap judgement at face value then I don't care. Me, my baby and my friends and family all know I do an excellent job and that's all that matters. Unfortunately there are some young girls who give us a bad name but there always will be. And like you said a good lot of us teen mums are 10 times better parents than some 30+ mums!

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 11:34 AM	#3
sexymummy18 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: eastbourne Posts: 402	totally agree, im 18,got a decent job and own place and fantastic partner im very lucky but i live in a town full of mainly old people and some of the looks i get from them make me soooo angry! i would prefer it if people said any comments to my face can get very annoying lol well rant over.! x

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 12:47 PM	#4
Jade--x Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Derby Posts: 667	I get loads of people judging me for being a single teen mum..even people that KNOW Im a good mum still go on rants at me for no reason (jealousy more than anything) like one of my close friends the other day. And when people add me on msn the first thing they say is 'you with babys father' soon as you say no thats it they assume you're a sleep around and you dont know who it is!! (I do its a long story!) Really annoys me too!! Specially seeing as Im not the kind of person, even before I had my LO to go out anywhere or go out down town getting drunk and things..I know lots of teens do, and lots of teen mums do not saying its wrong just my personal preference (had bad experience)

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 12:49 PM	#5
Aidan's Mummy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hull Posts: 10,974	We get used to it hun xx

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 13:22 PM	#6
teen mummy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Heswall, Wirral Posts: 181	ano it bugs me too but you just get used to it and again if they dont go on about people having babies at 66 why do they do it with us! (it least we can have more time with them haha) xxx

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 13:36 PM	#7
mazy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Nottingham, UK Posts: 208	If anything teen mums should be praised for raising a child and not running away or choosing other options.

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 14:48 PM	#9
Sarahkka Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 8,723	People like to feel superior somehow and they pick on the easiest and most obvious targets. It's very ignorant and I can imagine that being the target of it must make your blood boil. Some of it may come from a kinder (though still condescending) place, though. I think some might be concerned for a young person with so much responsibility so soon in life? That's usually my thought as an older mum. It doesn't mean I am thinking less of the young woman (how could I? I don't know the first thing about her situation.), it's more like I wonder if I found some motherhood stuff hard with a supportive husband and all the rest of the stuff you are "supposed" to have, how is she coping? I don't mean it to sound pitying - it's more sympathetic. And I hope I would have better manners than to ever look down my nose at anyone. Half the time when I leave the house now, my hair looks like it was licked in place by a cat. I'm in no position to point fingers!

Status: Offline

Jun 6th, 2009, 16:13 PM	#10
tasha41 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hamilton, Canada Posts: 23,919	Honestly I've never really encountered much of this.. I got pregnant when I was 18 & had Elyse at 19. I was working at McDonald's FFS when I was pregnant! But it drives me nuts that some of you ladies do. So many of you guys do things I can't even dream of doing.. living on your own with your child (without a partner).. going to high school.. etc. Social assistance programs are in place for a reason. Honestly it's baffling to me how anyone could think less of you for taking the help you need to raise your child! Even the people scamming the system and what not.. while it irks me a little, the children in those situations didn't ask for it and deserve help.. so yeahh just my two cents there hehe ladies!!

Status: Online

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