Bit of a rant about people who judge teenage or young mothers - Page 3

RedString · Jun 7th, 2009, 20:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

if someone looks at me or my un-ring'd marrige finger when i have a bump i will certainly have something to say about it, its not really anyone else place to judge ,whether they think were too young too old, too poor or 'just doing it for a council place and benefits' who are they to judge?! we could judge them for being old! for being stuck up for being whatever they are, but we dont because most of us have been brought up to have respect for elders, wheres the respect for us!? being a mother is the most selfless and responsible thing anyone can do, why think badly of us?

Because its convenient and helps keep them on their high horse! Though I have to say, since becoming pregnant, I've become VERY judgemental of the people that judge me,

and if they say one little almost offensive thing, I usually lose my temper with them shortly after. Though I have to admit, the sadistic malicious side of me quite enjoys it.

LilMama2be · Jun 8th, 2009, 03:49 AM

I agree with you about how people can have their opinions, but it's RIDICULOUS when they voice them making us feel like crap.
I mean not every teenage mom is a good mom, but that doesn't mean we're ALL bad mothers. Every 1st time mom has to learn how to raise their baby, regardless of age!

kaz982 · Jun 8th, 2009, 22:18 PM

i know it irritates me how people respond. just things i found like getting on a packed bus heavily pregnant and no one gives up a seat. im sure they would of for an older woman but because im younger i suppose i dont get back ache or sore feet!!

AtomicPink · Jun 9th, 2009, 13:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesleyann

its just that 1 person is so many of us that make us all look bad and its really sad i mean most people in my area if you asked them about teen pregnancy would say "they just do it to get a council place and benefits "

I know, its a shame that there are some idiots out there who really let others down and create a stereotype.

Sadly I know of FAR too many girls who would openly admit to this. Believe me, I dont have a thing to do with them anymore, its not the reason why I've been paying my taxes!

Coming to B&B has made me understand its not always like that.

moomin_troll · Jun 11th, 2009, 04:03 AM

i also myself know alot of young mums who are terrible parents and on benifits just cuz they actualy cant be arsed to work. i was 29 wen i got pregnant and my oh was 22, we had our own place both had great jobs i was a administrator n hes in the army n yet ppl still looked at us like crap. we were then made homeless and council wouldnt even help us because the problem was we had full time jobs!

i didnt realise paying my taxs would ever be the problem.

we are now married and people seem more shocked im married at 21 then i have a baby alot of people i went to school with expected me to be a single mum not working like them or others from my year and are shocked when i tell them otherwise.

why is it so hard to believe a woman of 21 is married has a career and a baby?

kate.m. · Jun 11th, 2009, 13:17 PM

Such a touching thread, and i agree with so much of what has been said

I have seen something so sad tho: Im a primary school teacher in a "dodgy" school, on the largest council estate in the county (Dont worry, im not trying to stereotype all council kids- i was one myself!!! Im just setting the scene!). When we ask the children (at 10/11 years old) what they want to be when they grow up, its shocking how many of them say "I want to have a baby and get a free house". Its so sad! They're only 11! Its a very sorry state of affairs when 11 year olds plan to "work" the system!

RedString · Jun 11th, 2009, 19:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kate.m.

Such a touching thread, and i agree with so much of what has been said

I have seen something so sad tho: Im a primary school teacher in a "dodgy" school, on the largest council estate in the county (Dont worry, im not trying to stereotype all council kids- i was one myself!!! Im just setting the scene!). When we ask the children (at 10/11 years old) what they want to be when they grow up, its shocking how many of them say "I want to have a baby and get a free house". Its so sad! They're only 11! Its a very sorry state of affairs when 11 year olds plan to "work" the system!

wow. I mean... wow. What are their parents teaching them?! Obviously not a lot about hard work!

Though I have to say, I'm quite jealous of how that works. I have yet to find a program in Canada that'll help me be not-homeless before LO is born. =\

soliloquise · Jun 11th, 2009, 20:12 PM

totally agree. why should anyone be judged on their age.. old or young ffs... people are ignorant. ignore em

butterbaby76 · Jun 12th, 2009, 08:06 AM

many moons ago ( 16 years ago ) i ahd my first baby pregnant at 15 gave birth at 16 and i only looked 13 so you can imagine the looks and comments that i got i felt so sorry for my mum and dad too, even had the local vicar say to my mum he would pray for my baby !!! But i had my son and he never went out of the house with a dirty face or clothes and i was constantly told how beautiful he was and how well i was doing looking after my baby. i did all the night feeds as i was on my own although living with mum and i never went anywhere without him, i showed them and my 16 year old son is a credit to me and my oh. we are so proud he has just got into full time college and doinog well so to all the doubters and face pullers i give you the two finger salute !!!!

Katieeeee · Jun 12th, 2009, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butterbaby76

many moons ago ( 16 years ago ) i ahd my first baby pregnant at 15 gave birth at 16 and i only looked 13 so you can imagine the looks and comments that i got i felt so sorry for my mum and dad too, even had the local vicar say to my mum he would pray for my baby !!! But i had my son and he never went out of the house with a dirty face or clothes and i was constantly told how beautiful he was and how well i was doing looking after my baby. i did all the night feeds as i was on my own although living with mum and i never went anywhere without him, i showed them and my 16 year old son is a credit to me and my oh. we are so proud he has just got into full time college and doinog well so to all the doubters and face pullers i give you the two finger salute !!!!

that's lovely xx

Jun 8th, 2009, 03:49 AM	#22
LilMama2be Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Oregon Posts: 647	I agree with you about how people can have their opinions, but it's RIDICULOUS when they voice them making us feel like crap. I mean not every teenage mom is a good mom, but that doesn't mean we're ALL bad mothers. Every 1st time mom has to learn how to raise their baby, regardless of age!

Status: Offline

Jun 8th, 2009, 22:18 PM	#23
kaz982 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 239	i know it irritates me how people respond. just things i found like getting on a packed bus heavily pregnant and no one gives up a seat. im sure they would of for an older woman but because im younger i suppose i dont get back ache or sore feet!!

Status: Offline

Jun 11th, 2009, 04:03 AM	#25
moomin_troll Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: staffordshire Posts: 14,583	i also myself know alot of young mums who are terrible parents and on benifits just cuz they actualy cant be arsed to work. i was 29 wen i got pregnant and my oh was 22, we had our own place both had great jobs i was a administrator n hes in the army n yet ppl still looked at us like crap. we were then made homeless and council wouldnt even help us because the problem was we had full time jobs! i didnt realise paying my taxs would ever be the problem. we are now married and people seem more shocked im married at 21 then i have a baby alot of people i went to school with expected me to be a single mum not working like them or others from my year and are shocked when i tell them otherwise. why is it so hard to believe a woman of 21 is married has a career and a baby?

Status: Offline

Jun 11th, 2009, 13:17 PM	#26
kate.m. Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Cheshire Posts: 1,193	Such a touching thread, and i agree with so much of what has been said I have seen something so sad tho: Im a primary school teacher in a "dodgy" school, on the largest council estate in the county (Dont worry, im not trying to stereotype all council kids- i was one myself!!! Im just setting the scene!). When we ask the children (at 10/11 years old) what they want to be when they grow up, its shocking how many of them say "I want to have a baby and get a free house". Its so sad! They're only 11! Its a very sorry state of affairs when 11 year olds plan to "work" the system!

Status: Offline

Jun 11th, 2009, 20:12 PM	#28
soliloquise Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: West Wales Posts: 274	totally agree. why should anyone be judged on their age.. old or young ffs... people are ignorant. ignore em

Status: Offline

Jun 12th, 2009, 08:06 AM	#29
butterbaby76 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: birmingham Posts: 479	many moons ago ( 16 years ago ) i ahd my first baby pregnant at 15 gave birth at 16 and i only looked 13 so you can imagine the looks and comments that i got i felt so sorry for my mum and dad too, even had the local vicar say to my mum he would pray for my baby !!! But i had my son and he never went out of the house with a dirty face or clothes and i was constantly told how beautiful he was and how well i was doing looking after my baby. i did all the night feeds as i was on my own although living with mum and i never went anywhere without him, i showed them and my 16 year old son is a credit to me and my oh. we are so proud he has just got into full time college and doinog well so to all the doubters and face pullers i give you the two finger salute !!!!

Status: Offline

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