hello everyone! i'm new here. i'm fifteen and three months pregnant. yes, i'm very young. i'm more scared then anything in the world! me and my boyfriend are considering an open-adoption. can anyone tell me the pros and cons? thankss!

Well I didn't put the baby up for adoption but from my POV:

Pros -
you can sort of screen the family your baby is going to live with,
you can arrange to be involved in his/her life (anything from the child knowing you and you going for visits to just kind of being an observer where the family sends you updates and lets you know how things are going... whatever you and the adopting family agree on),
you know the child will end up in a good home/you'll know the type of people the parents are/etc,
you know where your baby is going - you're not wondering what happened to them/who ended up adopting them/etc,
as a pro for the child, the adopting family knows who you are in case they need information on your family medical history,
you can continue your education, etc. without the complication of having a child.

Cons-
obviously, the biggest.. you're going to carry a child, form some degree of a bond with the baby (while in utero) and you won't be there everyday to see them grow up and experience the things parents get to see/feel/etc

I think the cons are pretty easy to come up with... but that's what stands out in my mind as #1... the rest I'm sure you can think of on your own... good luck with your decision. It takes an incredible amount of strength to do what you're thinking of, so best of luck to you both!!

Tasha basically pinpointed the majority of the pros and cons. Good luck sweety.

Yeah as Tasha said it would be difficult to give up a baby after forming a bond. However, if you're strong enough to do that and you think it's the best thing for you then I wish you the best of luck hun xxx.

I don't think i have anything else to add as Tasha brought up all the points. Giving up your child is the hardest thing in the world, i hope you do the right thing for you x

Please think about this deeply, giving up your baby is possibly one of the hardest things to live with, but then again so is knowing you were too young to give the best to your child, do what is best for YOU and your baby, and remember nothing is impossilble there are lots of help out there for young/single/teenage mums keeping baby or not. lots of cuddles and support. xx

Hey i didnt want to read and run and i was 15 when i got pregnant, i turned 16 when i was about 6 months gone.

i know how scared you must be feeling because i felt the same, and making the decision of whether to keep the baby or not was so hard!

me and my boyfriend decided we would keep the baby, because deep down i knew i would feel so guilty getting rid of her, and looking back now (even though she is not born yet,) im glad i decided to keep her.

adoption was not an option for me, so sorry im not much help to you there..
but i think you would be exretmely brave to do so!.. i cant imagine giving up my baby now, but if you think thats best then you should do it if you think you'll be able to cope..

sorry if i have sounded a bit biased, but good luck to you with whatever you do decide to do! xxxx

I think taht giving up your baby for adoption must be such a hard choice to make...the main thing you need to think about is what is best for your baby. If you feel you wont be able to give them the life they deserve then maybe it is a good thing. But ultimately only you can make that decision, don't let anyone push you into doing soemthing you dont want to.....i hope you get on well with whatever you decide.

Hun I just wanted to let you know that I was adopted. My mom was 18 and very poor, and imo giving me up for adoption was the best decision for me. I'm so grateful to her and know how hard it must have been, but I would have has a very very hard life if she didn't give me up. These adoption isn't a negative thing, you can have an open adoption and still be a part of the child's life, weather it be visiting the child or only being sent updates is up to you and what the adoptive parent want. Unfortunately you will always be the birth mother, and not the mother.
This said, I didn't give Kathryn up for adoption and I'm 19, and pg with my 2nd, but my DH is 26 and has a stable job, and we can afford everything we need. You just need to sit down and think about what is best for your baby. Good luck hun