babyell

All yesterday I didnt feel baby Harry move, and went to A&E this morning who sent me to the maternity ward, the doctor confirmed what we feared and Harry had gone. There was nothing obvious on the scan, he just looked asleep but his little heart wasnt beating. I have to go in tomorrow to be induced and dont know what to do. Should we see him, hold him or just remember him as he was on the 3d scan? What do we do with him, do we have a funeral? dont know what to do, the hospital says it's our choice but it's hard cecisions to make. What have you ladies who have lost babies later on done? it all feels like a bad dream, I keep expecting to go in tomottow and he will be fine, but I know that is not the case. Any advice would be great, thanks xx

meldmac

I'm so sorry sweetheart for your loss. I lost my angel at 36.4 weeks. After I gave birth to him we both held him and had him blessed by the Chaplin at the hospital. It's a very personal thing so do what you feel conferable with. At first I was unsure whether I wanted to hold him or take pictures but in the end we decided to do both and I'm so glad we did. Now at least we have those memories. I'm so glad we got pictures too, it still hurts to look at them but at least they are there if I want to look. I still regret to this day that we didn't have a service for him. We had him cremated and have his ashes here with us.

Do what you feel is right sweetie

Lexi mummy

sending you massive

im so sorry you are having to go through this heartache too.

you have to do what feels right at the time however there are a few things i wish i did but didnt. so my advice would be

1. hold your baby as much as possible as that day or 2 that you spend together has such precious memories

2. take lots of photos and lots of you with your little one

3. keep an item of clothing/blanket that your little one wears when born

im not sure what country you are in but you may have to legally arrange a funeral. the hospital can advise you on this. i have lots of photos of lexi and am so pleased we have them. my one regret was that i never held her, i only held the moses basket that she was in. so please think about holding your little one.

i will be thinking of you xxxx

lisa_33

hi hun, i am so sorry. i thought this thread might be some help for you.
thinking of you xxx





http://www.babyandbump.com/stillbirt...mies-help.html

Lucy'sMummy82

I'm so very sorry my darling, my heart is heavy for your loss

We lost Lucy at 37 weeks, after giving birth to her me and DH spent time holding her, we bathed her and had pictures taken and had her blessed. My family and DHs family came and held her also.
We had to legally arrange her funeral, we had a small service and then had her cremated. Afterwards we released pink and white balloons to she could have them in heaven. We also bought 2 bears, one we placed with Lucy in her baskets and the other we have kept for ourselves.



Sending you peaceful thought my darling, I am sorry you are having to face this, there are too many of us.
xxxx

MiissDior

Mrs Foster

Words cant express what you are feeling right now hun, I just lost my son Bennett on Oct 18th...we were 19 weeks pregnant. Around here we have a program called Now I lay me down to sleep. Its where a professional photographer comes in and takes pictures for you for free. We did that with Bennett so we will always have them to look back on and cherish. I highly reccomend taking pictures of your little one and spend as much time as you can with him just holding him and telling him how much you love him. We didnt have a funeral...it was too much for us to deal with but we did have an obit in the paper and we also got him cremated so we will always have him with us. There are some funeral homes that will do this for you for free if money is an issue. My heart goes out to you sweetie, I pray that you have supportive people in your life while you go through the hardest thing in life...lossing your child.

Nosy_Cow

So sorry for your loss sweetheart!

We lost Chloe at 25 weeks. If you are worried about seeing him at first have the hospital take a picture first. Then you can see that photo before you see him in person. This is what my partner did. He saw the photo and then took a look at her. She was so beautiful. Look at the photo's thread if you are worried what he will look like. I was worried at first but she was so perfect I didn't know why I worried!

We had her blessed at the hospital and then arranged a small funeral by the graveside. Most funeral homes do this for free! Sometimes you can have it done through the hospital too! Ask to see the bereavement midwife - ours helped us through everything from time off work to flowers at the funeral.

Take lots of photo's and spend as much time as you want with him.

posh

I'm so sorry for your loss there are too many of us.
My situation is slightly different to the other angel mums on here, my little boy left us when he was 8 hours old, so was full term, but I agree that you should really think about spending as much time as possible for cuddles, I'm glad we did (also spent the night with him in neo-natal).
We are all here for you whenever you need to chat about anything.

janie0

I am so sorry for your loss. I know all too well what you are feeling & the uncertainties that lies ahead. We lost our little one at 18 weeks in July 09 & I had a hard time deciding what to do. In the end I chose not to see our baby (as the baby was so little & had been gone for about a week prior). I was afraid that the image of that tiny angel would never leave my mind. I fear I may regret my decision one day, but I do have comfort knowing that the baby was blessed & my DH was able to see our angel.