natasja32

I cant stop thinking about how Bodhi died. I know it was because of a placental abruption. But i have this image of him in my mind struggling to breath and drowning in all the blood. I know he suffocated in all the blood that came out,as when he was born he had blood coming out of his nose. Ive been having dreams of him saying,"Mummy why didnt you safe me" My husband doesnt know there was blood coming out of Bodhis nose,as i wiped it away and ive not told him. I dont think he would cope well with that thought. God knows i struggling to get these images and thoughts out of my mind. I feel so quilty.

FsMummy

i am so sorry for your loss and that you are feeling this way but hun you mustnt feel guilty. it is not your fault! could you see a councillor or someone about the dreams? i hope u r ok x x x

Bunnipowder

Im not sure what to say I guess we will always beat ourselves up over something, but there's nothing you could of done and Bodhi would know if there was that you would of done it in a instance. xx

embo216

butrfly

Nosy_Cow

sweetheart! There's isn't anyway you would have known. Try not to blame yourself. Chloe also had blood coming from her nose but that was because she had died 4 days earlier and her bodily fluids were started to leak out of her. She had soaked her clothes through in a matter of minutes (because she had a large hole in her back - due to spina bifida) where that fluids were coming out.

We were watching this program about something (can't remember what) and it was saying that the bodily fluids start to leave the body within (if I remember correctly) 48 hours of death. Could this be what Bodhi had? I'm sorry if I'm wrong - I don't want to upset you even more Or were you told that he suffocated on the blood?

Sorry honey! I don't know your story very well!

natasja32

Hey hunny...My waters broke at home. I had alot of blood straight after that,my placenta had completely come away.Two hours after this Bodhi was born. So all this happened in the space of 3 hours,give or take. No one said he had suffocated,but why else would he have blood coming out of his nose?? Im sorry i just seem to be not coping very well at the moment.

natasja32

Thanks for replying girls. Im sorry be so morbid,im just not coping very well at the moment. I just feel so quilty,i failed my little boy. What if i fail this baby too?

serina27

You had no way of knowing hunnie and you didnt fail him xxx

OULINA

All this just makes me cry... i cant believe in our days sometimes bad stuff still happen..i cant even begin to imagine what you are going through .. i know i would probably be and think the same as you... oh sweety i just made a little prayer for you to help you heal . its good that you want to talk about it ... thats the first step of healing... i wish u all the best for this pregnancy and for your life in general...