"Welcome To Holland"

Lottie86 · Feb 27th, 2010, 14:09 PM

This article was the first article in my welcome pack from "Unique" the rare chromosome disorder people and I thought it was a brilliant article and so true so I thought I would post it on here.

Welcome To Holland

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"HOLLAND?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Aidedhoney · Feb 27th, 2010, 15:31 PM

Thanks for sharing,

xxx

angelstardust · Mar 2nd, 2010, 15:05 PM

I love that story. Made a huge difference for me when DS2 was diagnosed.

And now I have a habit of calling our special children 'Dutch', which confuses some folk till I explain.

Emmea12uk · Mar 6th, 2010, 03:49 AM

Love that poem. I use it myself for a support group.

Nic1107 · Mar 6th, 2010, 14:38 PM

That is really beautiful.

hopeandpray · Apr 10th, 2010, 17:47 PM

very beautiful. great explanation

Tegans Mama · Apr 11th, 2010, 06:51 AM

We have that framed

A lot of people who don't have a disabled child don't seem to understand it though...

louise1302 · Apr 11th, 2010, 13:46 PM

thats beautifully written

Midnight_Fairy · Apr 14th, 2010, 18:12 PM

i love it xxx

aurora · May 13th, 2010, 23:52 PM

I don't have a disabled child, but that is an amazing explanation. Very touching.

Feb 27th, 2010, 14:09 PM	#1
Lottie86 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Aberdeenshire (originally from South of England) Posts: 2,556	"Welcome To Holland" This article was the first article in my welcome pack from "Unique" the rare chromosome disorder people and I thought it was a brilliant article and so true so I thought I would post it on here. Welcome To Holland c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "HOLLAND?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Status: Online

Feb 27th, 2010, 15:31 PM	#2
Aidedhoney Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,444	Thanks for sharing, xxx

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Mar 2nd, 2010, 15:05 PM	#3
angelstardust Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ayrshire, Scotland Posts: 2,317	I love that story. Made a huge difference for me when DS2 was diagnosed. And now I have a habit of calling our special children 'Dutch', which confuses some folk till I explain.

Status: Offline

Mar 6th, 2010, 03:49 AM	#4
Emmea12uk Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Hampshire UK Posts: 5,135	Love that poem. I use it myself for a support group.

Status: Offline

Mar 6th, 2010, 14:38 PM	#5
Nic1107 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Posts: 4,300	That is really beautiful.

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Apr 10th, 2010, 17:47 PM	#6
hopeandpray Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,847	very beautiful. great explanation

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Apr 11th, 2010, 06:51 AM	#7
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 12,026	We have that framed A lot of people who don't have a disabled child don't seem to understand it though...

Status: Online

Apr 11th, 2010, 13:46 PM	#8
louise1302 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: manchester,uk Posts: 6,575	thats beautifully written

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Apr 14th, 2010, 18:12 PM	#9
Midnight_Fairy Other BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Coast UK Posts: 17,318	i love it xxx

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May 13th, 2010, 23:52 PM	#10
aurora Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Yukon, Canada Posts: 4,231	I don't have a disabled child, but that is an amazing explanation. Very touching.

Status: Offline

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