Feeling quite isolated..

Tegans Mama · Dec 28th, 2009, 18:51 PM

I know not many people will reply to this thread, but I feel really isolated just lately

Tegan can't walk and she never will - she can't crawl properly (she army crawls) and I am tired of her getting stared at because she is a little bit different. We can't take her places where there are a lot of young kids (like baby/toddler group) because we are forever watching for other kids standing on her

I am just so tired of the fact that I feel like I can't take my baby to be around other kids for fear of her getting hurt.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it, because I can hardly pin her in one place whilst we are out just because other kids don't know not to stand on her, and push her over.

Pointless really, just had to get it out.

Nikkinoonoo · Dec 28th, 2009, 18:58 PM

I'm so sorry you have been feeling isolated. I know Jessica's problems are much different to Tegans, but I have been there (before we got her prosthetic). I get times when it all get's on top of me, when she tries so hard to do something but falls because she hasn't got her leg on etc. I spose I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you wasn't alone and to throw some

in your direction

xXx

Tegans Mama · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:02 PM

Thanks hun, it just feels like there is no one to talk to because no one understands

Can't even take her to soft play areas because of the same problem

The only place I feel safe to let her do her own thing and know that she won't get stood on or knocked over (by either another kid or an adult, yes that has happened

) is at home or at CLOSE families houses (either OH's Mum, my Mum or my sister)... Tis doing my head in a bit

Nikkinoonoo · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:07 PM

We've taken Jessie to a soft play thingy called snakes and ladders. We went midweek and it was fairly quiet. Theres an area for 2's and under which is where Jess went (obv) and I followed her about and sat in the ball pit with her, held her on the little slide and slid her down, put her on the swinging aeroplanes and stuff. Maybe it would be worth checking a few out and seeing if there is a way you can 'play' with her like that? They also did concessions for disabled children so her admission was half price.
I don't know very much about SB so sorry if I have suggested things unsuitable

xXx

Tegans Mama · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:10 PM

That sounds quite good hun, thankyou for the suggestions, I think I might try it next week. OH wouldn't be up for it probably (bah humbug!

) but my sister would come with me. I just always feel like the odd one out, and it gets to me that every time I meet a new person they have to ask 'whats wrong with your baby' etc etc.. I have no issue with telling them but it gets repetitive after a while!

Because of her SB Tegan has no control from her waist down. She can sit by herself which is a godsend, because she shouldn't be able to medically speaking. Its just hard sometimes

Nikkinoonoo · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:14 PM

I hope you find somewhere suitable, shame you're not from London or I could meet you at Snakes and Ladders with Jess. Even when we put Jess in the highchair for a break of Milk and Quavers (lol) she loved seeing all the kids running about from area to area. She sits there waving at them bless her.
I really hope you find somewhere suitable, sounds like it would do you both good to get out there for an hour or so xXx

Tegans Mama · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:19 PM

I wish I was closer to a lot of people I know through here and Facebook hun, it would be great because I have some really great friends online, but is just not the same as friends IRL is it?

Online friends you can visit etc, but they aren't there when you wanna go somewhere randomly

I know where we will go, theres a place near us called Easy Tigers, I was meant to go before but since I don't drive its a bit out of the way! I'm gonna ask my Mum to take us

Nikkinoonoo · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:21 PM

Good luck with it, let me know how it goes

Might be worth waiting for the schools to start again too

xXx

**Vickie** · Dec 28th, 2009, 19:21 PM

just sending you lots of

velvetina · Dec 29th, 2009, 04:54 AM

Wanted to send you a hug hun.

I remember the early days with my son (he is autistic) so well, the strain of going to public places and seeing other nt children trying to engage or adults watching him because he acted differently or was so stressed because it was too busy and we would have to leave. It did get better and easier with time, but there are overwhelming moments when you just have enough and it's ok to voice it.

I think Nikkinoonoo had some good advice about going at quiet times and do ask about concessions. We only paid a £1 entry (instead of about £6), it all helps. You may also like to ask your health visitor if there are any groups that meet in your area so you can find friends who are going through the same thing. I have met some long standing friends through the speech and language nursery my son attended, it really helps having someone who is in a similar position to you and understands totally how you are feeling.

Take care lovely. x x

Dec 28th, 2009, 18:51 PM	#1
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 12,026	Feeling quite isolated.. I know not many people will reply to this thread, but I feel really isolated just lately Tegan can't walk and she never will - she can't crawl properly (she army crawls) and I am tired of her getting stared at because she is a little bit different. We can't take her places where there are a lot of young kids (like baby/toddler group) because we are forever watching for other kids standing on her I am just so tired of the fact that I feel like I can't take my baby to be around other kids for fear of her getting hurt. And there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it, because I can hardly pin her in one place whilst we are out just because other kids don't know not to stand on her, and push her over. Pointless really, just had to get it out.

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 18:58 PM	#2
Nikkinoonoo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Middlesex Posts: 8,873	I'm so sorry you have been feeling isolated. I know Jessica's problems are much different to Tegans, but I have been there (before we got her prosthetic). I get times when it all get's on top of me, when she tries so hard to do something but falls because she hasn't got her leg on etc. I spose I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you wasn't alone and to throw some in your direction xXx

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:02 PM	#3
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 12,026	Thanks hun, it just feels like there is no one to talk to because no one understands Can't even take her to soft play areas because of the same problem The only place I feel safe to let her do her own thing and know that she won't get stood on or knocked over (by either another kid or an adult, yes that has happened ) is at home or at CLOSE families houses (either OH's Mum, my Mum or my sister)... Tis doing my head in a bit

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:07 PM	#4
Nikkinoonoo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Middlesex Posts: 8,873	We've taken Jessie to a soft play thingy called snakes and ladders. We went midweek and it was fairly quiet. Theres an area for 2's and under which is where Jess went (obv) and I followed her about and sat in the ball pit with her, held her on the little slide and slid her down, put her on the swinging aeroplanes and stuff. Maybe it would be worth checking a few out and seeing if there is a way you can 'play' with her like that? They also did concessions for disabled children so her admission was half price. I don't know very much about SB so sorry if I have suggested things unsuitable xXx

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:10 PM	#5
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 12,026	That sounds quite good hun, thankyou for the suggestions, I think I might try it next week. OH wouldn't be up for it probably (bah humbug! ) but my sister would come with me. I just always feel like the odd one out, and it gets to me that every time I meet a new person they have to ask 'whats wrong with your baby' etc etc.. I have no issue with telling them but it gets repetitive after a while! Because of her SB Tegan has no control from her waist down. She can sit by herself which is a godsend, because she shouldn't be able to medically speaking. Its just hard sometimes

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:14 PM	#6
Nikkinoonoo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Middlesex Posts: 8,873	I hope you find somewhere suitable, shame you're not from London or I could meet you at Snakes and Ladders with Jess. Even when we put Jess in the highchair for a break of Milk and Quavers (lol) she loved seeing all the kids running about from area to area. She sits there waving at them bless her. I really hope you find somewhere suitable, sounds like it would do you both good to get out there for an hour or so xXx

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:19 PM	#7
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 12,026	I wish I was closer to a lot of people I know through here and Facebook hun, it would be great because I have some really great friends online, but is just not the same as friends IRL is it? Online friends you can visit etc, but they aren't there when you wanna go somewhere randomly I know where we will go, theres a place near us called Easy Tigers, I was meant to go before but since I don't drive its a bit out of the way! I'm gonna ask my Mum to take us

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:21 PM	#8
Nikkinoonoo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Middlesex Posts: 8,873	Good luck with it, let me know how it goes Might be worth waiting for the schools to start again too xXx

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2009, 19:21 PM	#9
Vickie Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 75,703	just sending you lots of

Status: Online

Dec 29th, 2009, 04:54 AM	#10
velvetina Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Nr Heathrow Airport, Middlsex Posts: 573	Wanted to send you a hug hun. I remember the early days with my son (he is autistic) so well, the strain of going to public places and seeing other nt children trying to engage or adults watching him because he acted differently or was so stressed because it was too busy and we would have to leave. It did get better and easier with time, but there are overwhelming moments when you just have enough and it's ok to voice it. I think Nikkinoonoo had some good advice about going at quiet times and do ask about concessions. We only paid a £1 entry (instead of about £6), it all helps. You may also like to ask your health visitor if there are any groups that meet in your area so you can find friends who are going through the same thing. I have met some long standing friends through the speech and language nursery my son attended, it really helps having someone who is in a similar position to you and understands totally how you are feeling. Take care lovely. x x

Status: Offline

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