My sister has sever autism. Aspergers spectrum disorder. She cant speak right and has a lot of issues. She is 15 and seems to be getting so much more worse. This includes a lot of voilence to my parents and mostly to herself.
My parents dont tell me anymore what she is at as they know I will try and intervene as they dont seem to get her help.

They have been listening to hvs,social works and all these poeple for years telling them to ignore her behavior which was always distructive. If you stand up to her expect a black eye now and windows to come through! She has been self harming herself for years now, just randomly punches herself. She used to be covered in bruises , she still is but worse now!
she randomly walks post my mum and smacks her across the back of the head. She punches herself in the face for no reason. She has put through the bathroom window in temper and will not do as she is told. Everything is on her terms. Even visits to my son are limited as she stands there waiting for my parents to leave again and demands they go when she says so.

Always has got her way and been spoiled but this worries me. I tried to talk to mum about it and she accuses me of ridiculing her and dad says he dosntw ant to get into it and that its ok for her to do this as thats how she is. Thats what these coucilors and socials workers still say. No one seems to have help for her at all? I worry she will do fatel damage as she is such an angry teen! she cant say her name at all her speech is so bad and carries teddys about still. She also has taken to peeing in the middle of her bedroom floor and spits for no reason. I thikn thats like a tourettes thing.

who can help with this? any surgestions, I want to give my parents somwhere. They have mentioned care before but they wont do that. My sis will listen to me and others just not parents. She knows how to wind them up.

Have you tried contacting one of these branches for advice? National Autistic Society - Northern Ireland They might be able to suggest a specialist that your sister could see, or a support group to help her with ways to deal with her frustration etc. that don't involve violence x

They are members of that. These are all the same people that say thats just the way she is and to let her do it. I cant understand why they say this, I seen a social worker say that infront of me when she was smashing up a livingroom !

but its the self harm and hitting poeple that worries me, is there anywhere for self harm? I also think she is skitzo as she does curse to herself and hit herself as if someone in her head is talking.

Might be worth going back to her doctor for a diagnosis because like you say she could be displaying symptoms of something other than aspergers which have been overlooked because she's been referred for that.

Don't know if these people would be any use, or at least be able to suggest someone else you might be able to contact?

http://www.parentsadvicecentre.org/

I think its up to my parents, they dont listen to me as I have found out over the years when I told them to do something about the self harm, but years later its still not being helped and they are ignoring it. I dread the day when parents go i will have her as my brother couldnt look after a gold fish and i will have all the grief. I have worked with special needs kids,teens and adults and never seen anyone this bad and I seen people stab themselves and lash out. This can be prevented but my parents just dont seem to want to anymore. IOts like the life is drained out of them they let her win. I know its hard but they cant see whats best in the long term for her and them. I have beebn told to keep out anyway. They dont take much to do wioth me since I had my son as they tried to interfere with what i thought was best for him and are not doing things their way like feed him junk food at this early age. My sister gets 5 choc bars a day and she is allergic to chocolate, also allergic to wheat and caffine and has all of them things a day.
My other half has said he wont even let them have william but they have never offered anyway.
what can i do, i can send them links and they can ignore them. I try and talk about it i get told to mind my own, i see it happening with my own eyes and when i go to open my mouth about it i get toild thats acceptable behavior because of her autism.

I feel delated now about the whole thing. I dont think my parnets want anything to do with me to be honest.

If she will listen to others but not your parents tbh it sounds more like she is doing it because she can. violance and agression with people on the spectrum are usualy because of fustration because they are not being understood and cant get there need across. People with autism need consistand boundrys so they know what is going on and so the world makes sence.

They dont see or hear like us. We might be watching music tv, and its no loud and there is nothing wrong with the picture but for some one with autism it could be as loud as a jumbo jet going off right next to us and the colours could be so bright they hurt there eyes. There brain cannot process the information and they start to go into something called fragmentation. Aparently this is the most painfull thing in the world. Its been described as an intense pain and pressure in the head of back of the neck. People with autism may hit there head or the back of the neck to try and make it go away and stroking there head with a bit of pressuse as well as taking them away from the cause of the pain can help. The world is like a colidoscope of colours and its verry confusing, they will do things to help process it, like finger clicking, flappin there arms, tapping, other repative behaviour and self harm. Its like if i do this i know where i am.

People with autism need routeen and repercussions. They need to know if i do this, this happens. They need to know what is going to happen next. If this dose not happen they get i dunno scared is the best way, they dont know what to do to make it beter so they need some one else to do it. Because of there communication issues they cannot say this so can become violent and agressive.

Carrying a teddy about is not realy an issue. Its familiar, its cosy. It will also have different textures which she will like the feel of.

She may never talk proppely, that just may be her learning disability. But some studdies have shown that once if they feel as safe and secure as they can. They have boundrys and a cause and effect lifestyle some people will start more.

It may be harsh but it sounds like she may be better living some where were she will get the things she needs, routeen, boundrys, the apropriate soroundings and people who will be able to help her make her needs known better and can understand her condition better.

People with autism are not like the rest of us. Problems occur when we try and make them behave and live in the normal world, instead of understanding what they need and changing our world to be more autism friendly.

Sorry about the essay.

I get what you mean she is 15 and its only since I moved out years ago after coming back she is a hooligan now. She was spotted once ripping someones pillers down in their drive way by a friend who approached her and stopped her.

she has someone call to her to see how she is from these helps, my parents do have things for her only i dont get why they all say we just have to except she does harm to herself. there is no bounderies for her at alol she can push and push and once she pushes hard enough to warrent a shouting from my mum then she goes ballistic and wreaks the place! goes on for ages the banging and slamming and punching. I know my mum is good at ignoring everyone so i assume my mum was ignoring her and theonly way tyo get attention was to get shouted at.

My aunt had her for a day before and said she was an angel, she is an angel at school its soon as she crosses that front door she turns, door slams and she is a monster demanding everything and getting it. There was no disiplin ever for her as they where told not to, just leave her like that she wouldnt listen anyway. I dont agree with any of the advice and now we are dealing with more serious issues that seem to be ignored.

She has her routine if its broken god forbid! but the routine involes commanding my parents on where they go, how long etc. She is used to getting her 6 choc bars a day, when she gets in from school there is 3 and when she goes out after dinner with dad there is more or dad has to get her some.

I am just worrked that she will do herself some seriious harm and is not getting the proper help she needs. My parents never seem to see it as a prob as they are told this is normal and to ignore it all.

Its only normal because she sounds spoilt. Half these social workers have learnt what they know from a book. They have never had to deal with the behaviour.

I work at a place for adults with learning disabilitys with challing behaviour. Its a pilot scheam to see if people with severe behaviours can live in the community. Its the first of its kind in the north east, all the tennats have been in institutions for most of there life.

sounds interesting. My parrents only listen to social workers, and these ones I have challanged to. I made her a star chart 4 years ago, this was so that she brushed her teeth, cleaned her room and wore cloths (she used to walk about with no knickers on just a top and no one would say anything to her)
I had moved back in as i lost my flat due to job lose etc it worked well, she had a goal to do. got her 5 gold stars and a special one for completeing it and she she didnt she didnt get her speical star if she got 4 etc. She was perfect then. I told social worker who complently laughed at me for doing that and told parents there was no point!

then parents moved and i stayed in old house and never done the chart and now she is worse. They just wont entertain it at all. They have no time for it.

she has everything! sterios at £600 which i wanted when dad was finished it was about 26 years old anyway. PS2, own sky system to watch what she likes and a room full of junk and mold from the food she just stores up there. My dad had to pay poeple to clean that as no one can do it anymore. She hordes things from the bin to. She is turning ferril. She was once a lovely girl that smiled and knew how to have fun. Now she is moody grumpy and abusive. Its slowly crept in this. Maybe its teen hormones or something.

she had allerggy tests done as i notcied she was having prob with the loo as i would hear her getting up 6 times a niht and straining. Then would have a sore belly and her skin looked bad. Parents paid for test private. It came up she was allergic to wheat (like me) chcolate and caffien. I do believe her diet effects her behavior as she goes mad after choc! I have an intolerance to wheat she has the coalics disease and my parenst tried her for 1 week without wheat and she was so much more calmer! then they gave in and she was a nightmare again.

if she didnt have her dinner on the time she wated, and percisley she would bin it infront of you. She wouldnt let my parents come and see william as she was jealous! she lingers around the door in my house waitying for parents then says "!where leaving now" and they jump. I was shcoked to see how much she had a hold on them in the past few years.

what happens if its just left like that and nothing changes? will she do herself serious harm. will the stress cause my dad to have a stroke as he has high BP and diabtes as it is,.
i always found bargining worked when i worked with special needs, i got oin with all of them. Staff got jealous i was able to get them to do stuff that they where not. there is a way of doing it only my parents dont think i am qualified to speak about this.

maybe she is better off in a home. She does go to respite where she is an absolute angle aswell.

Hormoans will have a part to play.

If your parents arent going to listen, there is not much you can do. But is will come back and bite them in the arse as she gets older.

I think things would be stoped if she was realy injuring herself. Im sure school and respite are keeping an eye on it. Dose she have a support worker? They should liase with her social worker and relay and concerns.