i hope, feel like im having some sortof breathing fit everytime i think about it but probably for the best, Broke up with my OH today as after all his 'i wanna go through it with you, im gonna stop drinking' offers etc. he goes out and gets wasted and takes acid, tells our friends not to tell me but ofcourse i find out. INcredibly hurt and disapointed, really didn't want to do it but i don't think i can handle being with someone who dosent seem capable of taking on abit of responsibility and i dont wanna hold him back from going out and having fun seeing as its so important to him =( worst part is i now i feel incredibly guilty as he just sent me a msg saying 'i know you cant reply to this but i just wanna say you need a real man to look after you cus you deserve better than a fuk up like me. 143.x' and i automatically think he's doing it to make me change my mind =( im not a bad person am i?

Nope, you are not a bad person.
You are a grown-up, my dear. And he is still a boy.
If he wants to be part of your new little family, I think he needs to earn it. Actions speak louder than words.
I think it's good that he is sorry, but how many times have you heard that, followed by empty promises of no more drinking, no more drugs? And how many times has he actually meant it?
When you are pregnant, you start to realize that every decision involves baby, too.
You can't have someone with addiction issues (might just be the party scene right now, but he seems to be having some trouble stopping the partying, so I'm going to go ahead and call it addiction) around baby. It's not safe and it's not responsible. You have enough on your hands meeting the needs of an infant. You don't need to be trying to care for an overgrown man-child, too. Harsh, but true. If he puts partying before family, I'm afraid that's what he is in my books.
You are absolutely doing the right thing, and you are absolutely right that his text is more manipulation than contrition. They call it women's intuition for a reason, sweetpea!
So stay strong. Find yourself some steadfast FRIENDS to be there for you for the next little while. I think it's pretty clear that this whole sad situation is his loss, not yours! You are a brave lady and you sure have my respect.

You are not a bad person at all, and please don't let him make you feel guilty. If he means what he says and is finally realising that he needs to make some big changes because there are more important things in his life than going out drinking and taking drugs, then hopefully this will give him the motivation he needs to do something about it x

thankyou both so much, just can't believe it's actually happening. he is a man-child =( disapointing really

Honestly well done!! I mean that. There are so many women in your position that dont do what needs to be done. And as sad as it is to say it, these women dont give 2nd third and 4th chances because they think he'll change, they do it because they are afraid. I have a number of friends who have kids with irresponsible guys. The single parents in my friends circle have more well adjusted kids (and are happier in themselves) than the ones with guys that drink, or cheat on them or use drugs excessively.

For most women it ends up being more work in the long run to stay with a guy like the one you described. So for you and your baby I am so happy. Don't let him manipulate you. You are being the best Mom to your LO right now, and your also being true to yourself. So dont doubt yourself hun! BE PROUD!! Its not easy. But better sooner than later. x

Just wanna send you big

Maybe this will be a reality check for him & he'll change but if not do not worry!! You'll do just fine on your own!!

xxxx

hi im new on here and in exactly the same postion! me and my bf decided to try for a baby i got pregnant straight away and he was so happy now hes saying im boring hes not ready for the responsibitly he loves me doesnt knw if hes ready to be a dad! im beside my self and so upset and stressed! he left me in a house on my own where i knew no one om fri nite and has only just showed up at his now! im so angry at him!if u eva want to chat feel free to pm me xxx

Big You are so brave, and mature!! Good on you for doing that and being so strong!!

Of course you aren't a bad person. Your ex seems like he is definately not up to the responsibility of raising a child and I think you did the right thing for both you and your LO