This Is What I Expect When & B4 LO is here

Linz88 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 05:21 AM

wel i had been with my ex for 11 months and i fell november && found out in december.. i also found out he had been cheating for 8/9 months and the other girl is also pregnant and due 3 weeks after me.
we was having a conversation and i told him this is what i expect from him.. is this too much?

before the pregnancy
attend ALL scans
buy 1 of l.o's Big items i,e (cot, pushchair etc)

After the pregnancy
pay child support
visit l.o t my home atleast once a week

do you think this is askin for alot cause i dont? and what do you thinks appropriate

suzanne108 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 06:31 AM

I don't think thats asking for a lot!

Do you want him at the scans though? I didnt want FOB there. I took someone a bit more supportive (sister and mum). Just a thought that maybe you would like someone there that isn't a tosspot

xx

xJG30 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 08:10 AM

It's easy to say you want this, but it's not always the case.

Good luck getting him to do it though.

MissE007 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 09:48 AM

I don't think its asking a lot seeing as he's the father of the baby (dnt think he needs to go to every scan tho, as long as he knows the details) but I'm not sure you should discuss things in too much detail until nearer the end of the pregnancy.

I dunno, I feel as though sometimes if you put too much pressure on them early on they can get overwhelmed and it makes them backoff. Maybe just give him a rough idea of your needs financially etc and then make it more clear nearer to the time baby arrives.

frouphea · Mar 3rd, 2010, 09:50 AM

I wouldn't ask him to buy anything for LO, you should use the maintainence for that.

suzanne108 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frouphea

I wouldn't ask him to buy anything for LO, you should use the maintainence for that.

I disagree with that. I think maintenance should be used to put towards nappies, milk, baby food, bum cream, wipes etc.

I think he should buy or put money towards a big item unless he is buying his own cot, pram etc. X

Janidog · Mar 3rd, 2010, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frouphea

I wouldn't ask him to buy anything for LO, you should use the maintainence for that.

I also don't agree with this statement - maintainence is never going to cover the cost of a pram etc....... and should be used for the smaller items.

Can you not take your sister, mum or friend with you to the scans?

Linz88 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissE007

I don't think its asking a lot seeing as he's the father of the baby (dnt think he needs to go to every scan tho, as long as he knows the details) but I'm not sure you should discuss things in too much detail until nearer the end of the pregnancy.

I dunno, I feel as though sometimes if you put too much pressure on them early on they can get overwhelmed and it makes them backoff. Maybe just give him a rough idea of your needs financially etc and then make it more clear nearer to the time baby arrives.

i dont think askin him to come to 2 scans is alot.. cause were i live you only get one at 12 weeks and 20 weeks.. and he didnt come to the 12 week one.but he expects a picture which costs money

Linz88 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frouphea

I wouldn't ask him to buy anything for LO, you should use the maintainence for that.

i didnt make this baby alone so i dont see why the maintenance should cover a big item.. everything should be 50/50.. when it comes to financial responsibility

Alisha1985 · Mar 3rd, 2010, 11:50 AM

I dont think your asking a lot of him at all really x

Mar 3rd, 2010, 05:21 AM	#1
Linz88 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: West Brom\Bham, Uk Posts: 1,679	This Is What I Expect When & B4 LO is here wel i had been with my ex for 11 months and i fell november && found out in december.. i also found out he had been cheating for 8/9 months and the other girl is also pregnant and due 3 weeks after me. we was having a conversation and i told him this is what i expect from him.. is this too much? before the pregnancy attend ALL scans buy 1 of l.o's Big items i,e (cot, pushchair etc) After the pregnancy pay child support visit l.o t my home atleast once a week do you think this is askin for alot cause i dont? and what do you thinks appropriate

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2010, 06:31 AM	#2
suzanne108 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,844	I don't think thats asking for a lot! Do you want him at the scans though? I didnt want FOB there. I took someone a bit more supportive (sister and mum). Just a thought that maybe you would like someone there that isn't a tosspot xx

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2010, 08:10 AM	#3
xJG30 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Nottingham Posts: 18,403	It's easy to say you want this, but it's not always the case. Good luck getting him to do it though.

Status: Online

Mar 3rd, 2010, 09:48 AM	#4
MissE007 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: UK Posts: 145	I don't think its asking a lot seeing as he's the father of the baby (dnt think he needs to go to every scan tho, as long as he knows the details) but I'm not sure you should discuss things in too much detail until nearer the end of the pregnancy. I dunno, I feel as though sometimes if you put too much pressure on them early on they can get overwhelmed and it makes them backoff. Maybe just give him a rough idea of your needs financially etc and then make it more clear nearer to the time baby arrives.

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2010, 09:50 AM	#5
frouphea Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 294	I wouldn't ask him to buy anything for LO, you should use the maintainence for that.

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2010, 11:50 AM	#10
Alisha1985 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 767	I dont think your asking a lot of him at all really x

Status: Offline

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