How likely is it for fob to change their mind once baby is born? - Page 2

surprisebaby · Feb 10th, 2010, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzanne108

Hi surprisebaby not long to go now

I'm pretty sure that most fobs will change their mind at some point abot contact with LO. I wouldnt pin your hopes on it though and just cross that bridge when/if it comes.

My fob says he wants to be involved but doesnt make much effort to come see her. He does text most days to see how she is but unfortunately that isnt helping in Lola getting to know him! I sometimes wonder whether it'd be better for her to not see him at all rather than once every 3 or 4 weeks...after all 'dad' is only a word. Being a dad doesnt automaticaly form a bond, it has to be worked on.

Sorry - waffled! X

Hi Suzanne!! Yeah only 10 weeks!! omg. How are things with little Lola? What happened when he saw her for the first time?

suzanne108 · Feb 10th, 2010, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by surprisebaby

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

I think down the line he will make contact, like someone else said. curiosity. But... i wouldnt try and contact him more, the ball is in his court.. you have left the door open? so let him decide to knock it. Just concentrate on having the baby and forget about him till/if/when he gets in touch.

Thanks Purple, I was thinking about just letting him know when the baby is here next. I am not sure whether I should let him know when I go to labour or not. I was just hoping we could clear the air before the baby is born, but yeah it's down to him to get back to me. Hope he does. It must feel horrible for him as well having something like this at the back of his mind.

You're too considerate SB. So he should feel damn horrible leaving you in this situation!!

suzanne108 · Feb 10th, 2010, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by surprisebaby

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

I think down the line he will make contact, like someone else said. curiosity. But... i wouldnt try and contact him more, the ball is in his court.. you have left the door open? so let him decide to knock it. Just concentrate on having the baby and forget about him till/if/when he gets in touch.

Thanks Purple, I was thinking about just letting him know when the baby is here next. I am not sure whether I should let him know when I go to labour or not. I was just hoping we could clear the air before the baby is born, but yeah it's down to him to get back to me. Hope he does. It must feel horrible for him as well having something like this at the back of his mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by surprisebaby

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzanne108

Hi surprisebaby not long to go now

I'm pretty sure that most fobs will change their mind at some point abot contact with LO. I wouldnt pin your hopes on it though and just cross that bridge when/if it comes.

My fob says he wants to be involved but doesnt make much effort to come see her. He does text most days to see how she is but unfortunately that isnt helping in Lola getting to know him! I sometimes wonder whether it'd be better for her to not see him at all rather than once every 3 or 4 weeks...after all 'dad' is only a word. Being a dad doesnt automaticaly form a bond, it has to be worked on.

Sorry - waffled! X

Hi Suzanne!! Yeah only 10 weeks!! omg. How are things with little Lola? What happened when he saw her for the first time?

Lola is well thanks...struggling a little with wind and reflux but we're getting there

I let fob come to the hospital. Nothing exciting to report...he just had a little hold that was all. Next time he came was wheb she was 2 weeks old! I put him on the BC but haven't seen him now for 3 weeks!! x

Linz88 · Feb 11th, 2010, 06:07 AM

Do you no his family? if so maybe you could get the grandparents to have a word x

surprisebaby · Feb 11th, 2010, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linz88

Do you no his family? if so maybe you could get the grandparents to have a word x

no I don't. They live in Northern Ireland and I am in Scotland. I have never met them before. I wrote them a letter but they didn't respond- they just returned my letter and pretended they didn't live at that address when I know they do!!

surprisebaby · Feb 11th, 2010, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzanne108

Quote:

Originally Posted by surprisebaby

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledahlia

I think down the line he will make contact, like someone else said. curiosity. But... i wouldnt try and contact him more, the ball is in his court.. you have left the door open? so let him decide to knock it. Just concentrate on having the baby and forget about him till/if/when he gets in touch.

Thanks Purple, I was thinking about just letting him know when the baby is here next. I am not sure whether I should let him know when I go to labour or not. I was just hoping we could clear the air before the baby is born, but yeah it's down to him to get back to me. Hope he does. It must feel horrible for him as well having something like this at the back of his mind.

You're too considerate SB. So he should feel damn horrible leaving you in this situation!!

I think he should feel horrible too, but it feels better for me to get rid of being angry with him, because I prefer being happier!! If you know what I mean. So if I can clear the air with him then there would be benefits for both of us. x

Emma1980 · Feb 11th, 2010, 06:36 AM

Fins dad asked me to get an abortion and finished with me a few weeks after i was pregnant, but he never did the "dont contact me again" thing... we didnt speak thru lots of the pregnancy but i did see him very often - he lives where i worked!

hes been round at least 3 times a week since Finley has been born and loves him to bits...

i didnt ask him for anything, ever, i left the door open for him, he made his decision when he heard Finley had been born and hes been there ever since, i still, will never ask him for anything, its up to him what he does, that way in the future finley can never say " you kept him from me" he chose to pay child support too, i didnt even ask for that.

i wouldnt make any more contact with him, just leave the door open.

donegalfairy · Feb 26th, 2010, 20:16 PM

I only know one thing, my little baby's dad will not change his mind.
I hope for your sake yours does, as that is what you want.

For my sake it is best if he keeps away as he has already hurt me too much with trying to mess my life up, but for my baby's sake I would be willing to let him see her whenever he wanted to. Although I (sadly) know he will never change his mind. He doesn't want her.

Feb 11th, 2010, 06:07 AM	#14
Linz88 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: West Brom\Bham, Uk Posts: 1,679	Do you no his family? if so maybe you could get the grandparents to have a word x

Status: Offline

Feb 11th, 2010, 06:36 AM	#17
Emma1980 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Ashton Under Lyne Posts: 3,405	Fins dad asked me to get an abortion and finished with me a few weeks after i was pregnant, but he never did the "dont contact me again" thing... we didnt speak thru lots of the pregnancy but i did see him very often - he lives where i worked! hes been round at least 3 times a week since Finley has been born and loves him to bits... i didnt ask him for anything, ever, i left the door open for him, he made his decision when he heard Finley had been born and hes been there ever since, i still, will never ask him for anything, its up to him what he does, that way in the future finley can never say " you kept him from me" he chose to pay child support too, i didnt even ask for that. i wouldnt make any more contact with him, just leave the door open.

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2010, 20:16 PM	#18
donegalfairy Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 117	I only know one thing, my little baby's dad will not change his mind. I hope for your sake yours does, as that is what you want. For my sake it is best if he keeps away as he has already hurt me too much with trying to mess my life up, but for my baby's sake I would be willing to let him see her whenever he wanted to. Although I (sadly) know he will never change his mind. He doesn't want her.

Status: Offline

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