Money vs Contact... can't decide.

Jetters · Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:33 AM

I'm not with the FOB anymore, we broke up and then two weeks later I found out I was preggo.

At first he was all excited about the baby, but since I asked him to start paying a set monthly amount he's gone icy cold. He's in his 40's with two children who are 18 already, and said now he 'can't afford' to help me out, despite running his own business!

However, he still wants some contact with the baby- and my hormones are screaming at me that he'd be a good dad, but my gut is telling me it isn't fair that he gets to play daddy without paying anything.

My family are all saying to tell him to pay up or get lost!

What do you think?

mum2beagain · Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:37 AM

i would agree with your family hun if he cant be responible and pay up then no contact however you could just go to child support agencie and theyll make him pay hun x

purpledahlia · Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:40 AM

All or nothing IMO x

suzanne108 · Feb 3rd, 2010, 12:20 PM

I agree...he needs to pay up. Have you tried the CSA route? x

teal · Feb 3rd, 2010, 13:14 PM

I agree it's all or nothing. It's not fair he's only involved in the fun parts - he needs to support the baby aswell! xx

MissEfendi · Feb 3rd, 2010, 14:16 PM

I actually don't want money from the ex, he thinks money means control and rights to the baby, hell no, it was and only has ever been about his ability to be a good decent dad, so I forgo the money, he is having no hold over me, so he has no excuses to come out with, all he has to do is be a decent dad.

Emma1980 · Feb 3rd, 2010, 15:06 PM

no money no contact!

expecting09 · Feb 3rd, 2010, 17:01 PM

Agree with the majority, why should he be able to stay in contact with them when he can't put any money towards there upbringing

sweetlullaby · Feb 3rd, 2010, 18:40 PM

Also agree with majority why should he get the fun parts? A man in his 40's with two teenagers surely he knows how expensive and tight money is when you have LO's?? I would go through Csa...though if he owns his own buisness could be harder egtting money as he could lie about his income etc....i think lol xx

Jetters · Feb 4th, 2010, 06:46 AM

^ exactly that, I think he's sly cos it's in his familys name, I don't know.

If this was happening to someone I knew i'd say pay up or piss off! But something is holding me back, I keep thinking the kiddie might hate might me if s/he ever found out i'd not let his or her daddy be around just because of money.

Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:33 AM	#1
Jetters Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: London Posts: 5,033	Money vs Contact... can't decide. I'm not with the FOB anymore, we broke up and then two weeks later I found out I was preggo. At first he was all excited about the baby, but since I asked him to start paying a set monthly amount he's gone icy cold. He's in his 40's with two children who are 18 already, and said now he 'can't afford' to help me out, despite running his own business! However, he still wants some contact with the baby- and my hormones are screaming at me that he'd be a good dad, but my gut is telling me it isn't fair that he gets to play daddy without paying anything. My family are all saying to tell him to pay up or get lost! What do you think?

Status: Offline

Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:37 AM	#2
mum2beagain Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: guildford Posts: 2,324	i would agree with your family hun if he cant be responible and pay up then no contact however you could just go to child support agencie and theyll make him pay hun x

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 11:40 AM	#3
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	All or nothing IMO x

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 12:20 PM	#4
suzanne108 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,844	I agree...he needs to pay up. Have you tried the CSA route? x

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 13:14 PM	#5
teal Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 11,385	I agree it's all or nothing. It's not fair he's only involved in the fun parts - he needs to support the baby aswell! xx

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 14:16 PM	#6
MissEfendi Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: London Posts: 100	I actually don't want money from the ex, he thinks money means control and rights to the baby, hell no, it was and only has ever been about his ability to be a good decent dad, so I forgo the money, he is having no hold over me, so he has no excuses to come out with, all he has to do is be a decent dad.

Status: Offline

Feb 3rd, 2010, 15:06 PM	#7
Emma1980 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Ashton Under Lyne Posts: 3,405	no money no contact!

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 17:01 PM	#8
expecting09 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 1,047	Agree with the majority, why should he be able to stay in contact with them when he can't put any money towards there upbringing

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Feb 3rd, 2010, 18:40 PM	#9
sweetlullaby Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Uk Posts: 6,338	Also agree with majority why should he get the fun parts? A man in his 40's with two teenagers surely he knows how expensive and tight money is when you have LO's?? I would go through Csa...though if he owns his own buisness could be harder egtting money as he could lie about his income etc....i think lol xx

Status: Offline

Feb 4th, 2010, 06:46 AM	#10
Jetters Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: London Posts: 5,033	^ exactly that, I think he's sly cos it's in his familys name, I don't know. If this was happening to someone I knew i'd say pay up or piss off! But something is holding me back, I keep thinking the kiddie might hate might me if s/he ever found out i'd not let his or her daddy be around just because of money.

Status: Offline

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