sweetlullaby

Im sorry I havnt had time to post on anyones threads yet Just updating quickly whilst my mum has took Matthew to Church Carol Service

Basically, the majority of you know most of my story from my long posts lol well....the last we left it with FOB and his mother was that we would contact THEM after the baby was born...well Matthew was born on Tuesday 15th...5 days overdue. I got to Friday (i planned on phoning them on Saturday) and his mother phoned the house phone twice and left a quite cheeky message saying she would "appreciate" it if we could phone or text her back and then text me and tried phoning me and text my mum and tried phoning her...all within the space of about 10mins! The messages were identical and said "Hi, hope your ok and i was wondering if the baby has arrived yet. Id appreciate if you could phone or tex me and let me know." ....errm what happened to US contacting THEM. I was kind of annoyed at the tone of her voice in the voicemail and knew that they knew Matthew was born. I then got a text message from my mate saying that FOB had just changed his facebook profile to private...hmmm suspicious! Well we tried phoning them and ended up not getting through until saturday morning where my mum told them his name etc etc and said that i had had a difficult labour and that i would be in touch...probably after christmas to arrange for them to come and see Matthew. His mum then phoned back less than 5mins later and said whats his surname? My mum said that it was my surname and she said ok and hung up. She then text asking could they have a picture of him in the meanwhile. So i said ok and sent it to his mums phone...she text back saying she couldnt receive it and could i send it to FOB's phone so i got my mum to send it to him hours later...she then text me and my mum this morning saying they hadnt got it...(why didnt she or him text sooner) and could we send it again. So my mum phoned her...told her that i had decided they could visit tomorrow night for an hour 7pm - 8pm and that my only condition was that if they started pressurising me about access or demanding access and when they can see him again i will boot them out of the house. And my mum said she would send the picture again (must be about 6th time we've sent it) and have heard nothing since though his mum said on the phone that 7pm "might" cause problems with her trying to get away from work early...yeah right its xmas week i know for a fact that FOB will probably be working until 8pm instead of 5.30pm but i dont want them coming any later because Tuesday is xmas food shopping and hospital for repeat hearing screen test and no other evenings this week suit so they will have to take it or leave it.

Urg dont know what Im asking lol Im just petrified about tomorrow night... i dont know whats gonna happen and i havnt seen FOB since 19 weeks or heard from him directly since i said he couldnt be in the room when Matthew was born. His mum took over then.

Im just worried that his mum will try to be nice and il be rude and say oh so your nice now or if either of them say he looks like FOB then i will be like..."dont insult my son"....or "then why the hell are you's demanding a dna test?"

I only have one thing thats kind of really annoying me...I havnt posted any photo's on my facebook etc yet because i didnt want FOB seeing Matthew on the net first type thing and i havnt had time...but he now has that picture(not one of the nice ones lol) sent to him and his mum ... and he's changed his profile to private ...he better not have posted the picture on facebook. I would kill him!...he done it with my first scan photo's on bebo and some of my family and friends that hadnt been told yet found out that way which upset me and if he has no parental responsibility then technically he has to have my permission to even take a photo of Matthew nevermind put them on the internet.

Im also scared that il get asked about whether I've registered Matthew or not...and he will flip when he finds out his name isnt on the birth certificate.

Ekkkk!! Sorry its all over the place and long and probably makes very little sense!!

UPDATE- This is weird...but when my mum took Matthew out to church a big 4x4 came from round our back and followed her round to the church but carried on up the hill(dead end) then when she came out of the church the same 4x4 was parked right beside her but empty...she drove out and came down the hill and the 4x4 was behind her with 5 people in it! It followed her the whole way back and parked down at the steps opposite where my mum parks the car and they sat and watched my mum get out of the car and go up into the house with Matthew. My mum was really edgy...it scared her and nothing freaks my mum out! I asked my mum could she make out any of the people male/female/features etc in her mirror and she said the only thing she could see was that the driver was wearing a beanie hat pulled down quite low.....FOB ALWAYS wears a beanie hat...i mean he never takes the thing off even indoors. Am i overreacting and being paranoid?? I cant see it being anyone else and even the 5 people in the car all add up...as in him, his mum, his dad, his brother, his dads wife. or could even have been friends. I wish i had proof!!! Are his family watching our house randomly for us to go out etc? Im going to be constantly watching over my shoulder every time any of us leave the house! Im so bloody angry but know that phoning the police and reporting it etc they're only gonna ask do we have any idea who it might be etc and if we say him they'll go around and ask! Which could make things go bad as in "we're accusing them of things and causing trouble etc" Urg...what the hell are they playing at!! Also about 5 mins after my mum came in she got a message from his mum saying "7pm is fine we'll be around then". This is freaky!

expecting09

First of all massive congrats on Matthew!!!

God, that mother of his never knows how to leave you alone does she Can she not understand that you need time to yourself? You've just given birth ffs! By the sounds of it, if they do come round for an hour tomorrow FOB will just shy behind his mother, thats the way it seems in my opinion.

And right on girl, if they do say about Matthew looking like FOB I would go and say about why are they asking for a DNA test. And if he does flip about his name not being on the birth certificate I would just tell him he needs to step up to the mark before you even consider it!

Hope tomorrow goes ok, just remember your the one in control

louise85

Hello, 1st of all congrats, he's gorgeous!!

Why don't his mom just back off a bit, its a bit much isn't it?? You've just given birth surely you'd think she would understand you need a bit of time!

I can understand you being worried about seeing FOB again after so long, its almost like strangers, do you think he will be there properly from now on?? Not to be harsh but his mom sounds like a right interfering old cow!

Its upto you what surname Matthew has, you the one thats had the responsibility for the last 9 months and for the rest of you life now, FOB has not exactly done much has he. If you've already registered him just tell him he had to be present to put his name on and obviously he wasn't!!

Good luck hun I'm sure everything will be fine in the end xx

nievesmama

Congratulations hun, hes gorgeous.
His mum sounds very pushy and demanding. It is up to you what surname he has, and like has already been said FOB needs to be there to have his name on BC when registering.
Tbh my LOs dad is not on heres and under the circumstances its the best thing i did.
Good luck, hope it goes ok xx

teal

Congratulations He looks beautiful

Good luck tomorrow - I really hope it goes well. I agree that his mum does sound really pushy and trying to take over. I would mention the dna test if either of them make any comments about Matthew looking like fob.

Sending you hugs xx

lou_w34

Dont worry about not replying! I dont think anyone has had a decent reply of me since scarlett was born

His mother sounds like a right interfearing cow bag!

Awwww and dont be scared i was absolutley terrified when i met FOB, but honestly it wasnt as bad as i expected... then again i didnt have his mother there. But if she starts anything, just tell her to go!

And if he does ask about BC/surname, tell him he has no right to ask about it untill the dna results come back. He cant have everything his way, its your way, or not at all!

xxxxxxxxxx

lou_w34

Oh and matthew is absolutley beautiful!!

24/7

How did it go Sweetlullaby? x

nievesmama

Oh hun ive just seen your update.
I bet it is freaking you out. It may be worth giving the police a ring, they dont neccesarily have to go speak to your ex, but they will be able to take steps to keep you safe. Eg get the bobby van to come and make sure your house is secure, give you panic alarm etc.
I had that just after my LO was born last year.
They can also give you advice hun, its worth it just for peace of mind.
You may not have definate proof it was them but it seems very likely.
Huge hugs xx

tinkabells

Mmmm i would cancel them seeing him, sounds like it could be him, and thats not on him following and what if something god for bid happened to your mum while driving cos it was freaking her out, them following, its upto you, but i would report to police so it goes down on file xxx