well jake recieved a card and cheque from my ex mother in law this week, which was nice of her, but she felt the need to put a letter to me within the card!
Basically in this letter she says that i should build bridges with my ex, as he has offered to buy jake a xmas present! i shouldn't be so bitter and be amicable for the sake of jake they way she wrote it you'd think what he did was all my fault.
anyway i lost it and replied to ex's email about xmas presents telling him that i don't appreciate recieving these letters, as it's not her place to interfere. anyway he replied calling me everything under the sun, said that as he is now paying maintenence, he was going to stop paying the mortgage, as he doesn't see why he should, even though he is the one living in the house, he said he is going to let us both go bankrupt!! i said i wasn't going to get into an arguement about it as he will do what he wants anyway regardless of the consequences. again not once did he ask about his son.
well anyway iv got an xmas card for ex mil, with pic of jake and i have written her a letter, just not sure i should send it.
iv wrote that i don't want to recieve any more of these letters, that her son has made it perfectly clear to me that he doesn't want to be in jakes life, so giving him a xmas will only serve to confuse him in the future, and im not doing that to my son. also said that if she wanted to stay in contact with jake, she needed to make the effort (she had said in her letter that she wanted me to tell her about jake and send photos) as she knows my number etc, and that it was not up to me to stay in contact. i havent heard from them since they came to see jake 2 moths ago!

sorry for the rant! do you think i should send it or just leave it? he is obviously just telling his mother what she wants to hear.

I would send it to her, and i would also print off a copy of what his said to you, calling you all names and say, wow arent you proud of your son when he speaks like this?!
But no way would i txt or call them, they wanna no, they get intouch with you xxx

thanks hun i did send it, i hate all this, as i feel like im finally getting on with my life and hear from all of them. also hurts that he feels that way about me and still wants nothing to do with his son, guess ill wait and see if i get a reply.

Yep i think they have a sensor, when wer emoving on and doing well, there sensor goes off and is like, beep beep, there happy, go in now for another kill!!! xxx

ha ha yep think your right there, lets just hope that it ends this year and next year we can start afresh! maybe wishful thinking! x

Im thinking 2010 could be my year, but i always fnd it i make bold statements like this, the fuck up fairy comes along and to screw it all over with, so im careful with what i say, that way only im disapointed xxx

I think for all of us we need 2010 to be good...

Im awaiting the delivery of my "letter" now - will see how that goes huh! I just want to move on from all of this - get the csa stuff sorted and thats it all done and dusted. Common up there, all of us have been through enough this year, time to spread some nice things coming our way now...

(I can but live in hope lol)

WEll done you LM on sending it - I salute ya, you are so strong now. Good on ya

No comment re the letter but do NOT let him stop paying the mortugage on the house! as you will get screwed over for it as well. Might be an idea to speak to a solicitor and if you arent living there, and he is being the way he is and its in both your names, force a sale of the house. That was he cant drag you down.

A Christmas present doesn't make him a father. Even paying child support doesn't make him a father.

Seeing his child and being in the child's life makes him a father.

Jerk!

hey abz the house is up for sale, has been for 6 months!! i told him that he wouldn't get a mortgage again, he said he didn't care, prob just to get one over on me. if it comes to the worst i can pay the mortgage, but im not going to offer to do it, unless i have to. i have got a solicitor, a better one than his, so thats good.

yep can't get my head around buying a present for a child you do not want anything to do with, that does not make up for not being there

don't know about being strong sam, i do feel ready to move on, actually looking forward to the future, but it's like they are stopping me guess we will see if i get a reply, will keep you posted and keep us posted with you to x