Hi ladies..... Just looking for some advice again lol and a place to rant as per usual

I got a message from FOB this morning saying can i ask you something and i replied saying i suppose so. He then asked me could he be there in the room when the baby comes??!!!!!! (the same baby he wants a dna test for to "prove" he's the father) I replied to him saying that i was only allowed one person in with me and even if i was allowed more i would not feel one bit comfortable giving birth with him standing there! He then said ok, i understand that (no you dont you not a woman...grrrr) do you want me to be at the hospital? As in outside the door??!!! (i already told him that both these were a no no from day one, why the hell is he asking again??) So i told him that no one was allowed to hang around waiting because of security reasons and health and safety with swine flu etc. He said ok just wanted to know .

I then got a missed call about an hour later....FROM HIS MOTHER!!!
She then sent me a text message saying " Hi, everything is still going well (whats going well??). I tried too phone, as id like to get stuff for the baby. Will ******* be at the birth, i know he wants to be + too be involved in everything. Tx or phone when u can, hope ur mums ok to. x

What the hell???!!!! Im sorry but im still fuming everytime i think about all of this, im fed up with it all and right now with just over a week to go i do not need the stress at all. I am seriously getting the impression that he has said to his mother and she has tried to phone me and then text to try and make me feel guilty or something!

I dont even know what to reply or anything. I gave his mother my mobile number and my home phone number and left that door wide open for her...to get to know her, meet up for coffee or something once in a while and she never stepped through it. I feel that for her becoming a grandmother she has made no effort whatsoever and personally im dissappointed with her. She says she was trying to ring me because she wanted to buy "stuff for the baby" I think its too much of a coincidence that she phoned an hour after i told FOB he wasnt being in the room with me etc! She's a woman herself and has had kids...surely she can understand why i wouldnt want him being in the room!!As for buying stuff for the baby.....its a bit late for that in my eyes. I have everything i need bought with only having just over a week to go and im on team yellow so they cant get like pink or blue stuff. To me they have both took the easy way out because all the essentials and expensive stuff that a baby needs like pram, cot etc are all bought and they know that so basically they're offering knowing that there isnt anything they can actually buy!

Im sorry for ranting im just sick of this and the fact that its all being sprung on me now. I dont understand what FOB is playing at....he says he cares...doesnt show he cares....doesnt buy anything...demands a dna test....isnt sure the baby is even his(bloody idiot) and yet he "still cares about it"

Can anyone make sense of this for me??? I just want to scream!! I've spoken to my mum in regards to his mother and she isnt happy with the way things have went and the fact that she hasnt been in touch etc and has said to me that if she wants me to she will text his mum and arrange to meet for coffee and talk "granny to granny" (lol thought that was funny) and my mum said she will be honest, might appear brutal but she will keep it civil and polite...i trust my mum with doing this but would i be taking the easy way out with doing this etc or does it sound like an ok idea?

Why does life have to be so difficult??? *sighs* xx

sounds like a good idea granny to granny. sorry hes being awkward but no one can make u have someone there u dont want to....as U are the one giving birth ....tut some people. hope things go okay hun xx

Yeah i think granny to granny sounds good, that way they are bothing thinking of you and the baby and him, rather than you and him or you and her
I think its a fab idea, i would get my mum to it, but i would be hidden somewhere watching lol xxx

I dont no ur history. But i can only imagine it must be hard for his mum. There isnt a lot she could do during the pregnancy. But now ur nearly due shes realising her grandchild is coming and is perhaps stepping up to the mark. if it was me id give her the benefit of the doubt n let her be involved in LO's life on ur terms.

as for fob i would ask him why hes had a change of heart. ask him why he would want to be at the birth of a child a short time ago he asked for a dna of. Better u do try to sort it b4 LO arrives. make it easier on u all xx

The situation is very complicated lol it confuses me as well. Think there probably bits a and pieces of the history wandering around here.

I know it must be hard on his mum but i met her once and i told her i wanted her to be involved as its her grandchild as well and that i wanted to meet up with her etc and she hasnt been in touch since I just feel really let down and dissapointed because she has given me the impression of not caring really. She could have even sent me a text saying "I've seen such and such can i buy it etc?" Just i dont like the fact that she has made absolutely no effort whatsoever.But then again i am trying to keep an open mind because for all i could know FOB could have told her anything like that i dont want her involved or something like that.

FOB still wants a dna test, its his "demand" and yet he keeps saying he cares about the baby and now he wants to be there for the birth....but he hasnt done anything to show he cares and he still wants a dna test. Its just confusing me! I've asked him why does he say he cares about the baby and yet wants a dna test because he isnt sure LO is his. He has yet to answer this and ive asked more than once! Last week he wasnt even in the country?! And he supposidly "cares". I just seem to be getting the impression its all talk and no action.

Wish it wasnt so confusing and messy! Have tried to get it sorted and i dont know whats going on with it all.

Im gonna go for the "granny to granny" talk in regards to his mother because my mum is a lot more straight to the point than me type thing and she is really good at telling when someone is genuine etc (think its her profession haha) so guess i will find out what she knows etc or what FOB has told her etc by the weekend but god i will be like a ticking time bomb sitting waiting to hear what was said etc

If you left the door open to his mum and she didnt take you up on the offer then its her fault entirely if shes feeling left out!

I think your mums idea is a good one, let her talk it out with her, you dont need the stress with so little time left to go.

And as for him wanting to be in the room, yet still wanting a dna test.... i cant even make any sense from it????

Hope it goes ok

I think Granny to Granny is a brilliant idea!!! You're very lucky she's offered to do this for you - she must be a lovely mum! awww x

I cant make any sense of the dna test and him wanting to be there at the birth and saying he cares either ....the only thing i can think of is that he is very messed up in the head or soemthing

I know I left the door completly open for his mother and she never came through it or anything. I just feel really angry and let down because of it and she;s given a real impression of not really caring.

Im definately going for the "granny to granny talk". I know im really lucky that my mum has offered to do this for me....i have to say that she is an amazing person and has been fantastic in supporting me! Just have to wait on her coming home and give her FOB's mothers number....ekkkk!! And see how it goes from there!

Btw ...off topic but I love your pictures of Little Scarlett Lou!!! xx

I agree and think the granny to granny idea is great!

It doesn't make sense that he is demanding a dna test and wants to be there at the birth!

But then not much they do or say makes sense anymore!

I think you made a good gesture leaving the door open for her. I'd be feeling let down aswell that she's waited until now to try and use.

Sending you hugs xx

oh no, im the only onw who thinks it might not be a great idea..

I think that you should meet her, and tell her face to face your side, what hes said to you, how hes treated you, HOW YOU FEEL. how you feel about the fact you left the door open to her and she has only just recently been in touch and stuff, I think getting 'mums' to talk.. in a way is a bit.. well they will both come back to you and him and pass on info which will probably get wires crossed and then he will speak to you and i just think it would end in an argument with words getting twisted. I think you should talk to her yourself.
Its nice of your mum to offer, but i personally wouldnt do it.
I think his mum needs to hear from you,

With the dna thing, well if thats his demand hes made his bed, let him lie in it. Just tell him theres no way hes being at the birth, eh doesnt even believe baby is his why would you put yourself ina n uncomfortable situation. you want 'x' there and thats that!

He probably wants to be there because deep down he knows the DNA test will come back hes the father but he doesnt wanna know he missed his childs birth, but he wants it on paper. basically he wants the best of both worlds but you know what he doesnt deserve the chance let alone actually getting what he wants!!