I want full custody!!!

babyndme · Nov 27th, 2009, 07:01 AM

As you all know its really hard when you split up from your boyfriend/husband ! But when he turns around after he's seen the baby and say 'it would have been better if u had an abbortion' and its ovbiously gonna cause rows, and some downs for me. But he doesn't even want to be in his life. i feel sick as i have to txt/call him, about the baby's health. as i feel he has the rights to know. but hes not botherd. Thats why i want to go ahead with full custody and perantal right of my son. im really scared if i get too ill or something happens to me that my little by will end up in the wrong hands!! =[ what do you suggest?? please help me, im driving myself nuts here!

tinkabells · Nov 27th, 2009, 07:04 AM

Yeah that isnt fair at all what his said, i would talk to cab and see what they say and do you think he would let you have full custody? xxx

Welshcob · Nov 27th, 2009, 15:05 PM

What an utter ****** well words fail me. I am not sure of your situation at the moment, so forgive me if the info I share with you may not apply. But I am assuming that FO Deion is not on birth certificate? If hes not on birth certificate, then he has no parental rights what so ever unless he goes to court to ask for them. Therefore you can continue and make arrangements in your will and set up guardianship for him. I am totally amazed and gob smacked how a man can say that about his own flesh and blood...yet, on this site, it happens all the time! Makes me lose faith in the human race!
Anyway I do hope that is of help!

purpledahlia · Nov 27th, 2009, 19:17 PM

yup i agree with Welshcob.. is he on the birth certificate? and are you in the UK? i have no idea how the law works abroad...

If he is on the birth cert then i think you will need to go to CAB like tinks said or get a solicitor. But i would say after what hes saying/doing then it would be worth doing and getting your will sorted. x

amylk87 · Nov 27th, 2009, 19:23 PM

If he's not on the birth certificate, he doesnt have any parental responsibility anyway. But parental responsibility cannot be surrendered or transferred but delegated.

starbucks101 · Nov 29th, 2009, 06:15 AM

dependant on where you live the rules are different. i mean UK or US

If its UK and he doesnt see him, he wouldnt get custody anyway, they wont dump a baby with strangers.

Look into writing a will, expressing your wishes and look into getting special guardianship for whoever you would want to take care of little one.

In my situation FOB is on Birth Cert but there is no way in hell he will ever come within 100 feet of my DD, they'd have to chuck me and about 100 members of my friends and family in jail before he would even see another picture of her! When my OH and i get married in a few years time one of the first things ill be doingwhen were back off our honeymoon is going to court for OH to adopt DD.

if something was to happen to me between now and then my OH and my parents would have her between them and we have a baby girl on the way anyway so the courts wouldnt split the girls up.

Lu28 · Nov 29th, 2009, 06:32 AM

I'm not sure if you're in the UK or otherwise but this advice only applies in the UK!

The courts here operate on the no order principle which basically means that they won't make any orders about custody unless the parents are in disagreement. It sounds here as though FOB isn't bothered so custody isn't something you need to worry about at the moment. If he's not bothered, I wouldn't worry yourself with giving him any updates, if he's interested he'll ask.

If something were to happen to you, the court would look at your LO's best interests in deciding who should look after them. This will include who baby is most comfortable with, who's in a position to take care of him etc etc. It's highly unlikely that a court would award custody to a father who hasn't been involved in their baby's life as it wouldn't be best for baby.

I hope that helps a bit

purpledahlia · Dec 2nd, 2009, 23:04 PM

I was gonna say that too

sleepinbeauty · Dec 2nd, 2009, 23:26 PM

ight for it if you have to. He's an asshole and doesn't deserve the POSSIBILITY of having a say in your child's life.

Good luck, mama!

Nov 27th, 2009, 07:01 AM	#1
babyndme Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: North Wales, UK Posts: 64	I want full custody!!! As you all know its really hard when you split up from your boyfriend/husband ! But when he turns around after he's seen the baby and say 'it would have been better if u had an abbortion' and its ovbiously gonna cause rows, and some downs for me. But he doesn't even want to be in his life. i feel sick as i have to txt/call him, about the baby's health. as i feel he has the rights to know. but hes not botherd. Thats why i want to go ahead with full custody and perantal right of my son. im really scared if i get too ill or something happens to me that my little by will end up in the wrong hands!! =[ what do you suggest?? please help me, im driving myself nuts here!

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Nov 27th, 2009, 07:04 AM	#2
tinkabells Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 4,088	Yeah that isnt fair at all what his said, i would talk to cab and see what they say and do you think he would let you have full custody? xxx

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Nov 27th, 2009, 15:05 PM	#3
Welshcob Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire Posts: 550	What an utter ****** well words fail me. I am not sure of your situation at the moment, so forgive me if the info I share with you may not apply. But I am assuming that FO Deion is not on birth certificate? If hes not on birth certificate, then he has no parental rights what so ever unless he goes to court to ask for them. Therefore you can continue and make arrangements in your will and set up guardianship for him. I am totally amazed and gob smacked how a man can say that about his own flesh and blood...yet, on this site, it happens all the time! Makes me lose faith in the human race! Anyway I do hope that is of help!

Status: Offline

Nov 27th, 2009, 19:17 PM	#4
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	yup i agree with Welshcob.. is he on the birth certificate? and are you in the UK? i have no idea how the law works abroad... If he is on the birth cert then i think you will need to go to CAB like tinks said or get a solicitor. But i would say after what hes saying/doing then it would be worth doing and getting your will sorted. x

Status: Online

Nov 27th, 2009, 19:23 PM	#5
amylk87 Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: North West, UK Posts: 890	If he's not on the birth certificate, he doesnt have any parental responsibility anyway. But parental responsibility cannot be surrendered or transferred but delegated.

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Nov 29th, 2009, 06:15 AM	#6
starbucks101 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Norfolk Posts: 1,033	dependant on where you live the rules are different. i mean UK or US If its UK and he doesnt see him, he wouldnt get custody anyway, they wont dump a baby with strangers. Look into writing a will, expressing your wishes and look into getting special guardianship for whoever you would want to take care of little one. In my situation FOB is on Birth Cert but there is no way in hell he will ever come within 100 feet of my DD, they'd have to chuck me and about 100 members of my friends and family in jail before he would even see another picture of her! When my OH and i get married in a few years time one of the first things ill be doingwhen were back off our honeymoon is going to court for OH to adopt DD. if something was to happen to me between now and then my OH and my parents would have her between them and we have a baby girl on the way anyway so the courts wouldnt split the girls up.

Status: Offline

Nov 29th, 2009, 06:32 AM	#7
Lu28 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 12,639	I'm not sure if you're in the UK or otherwise but this advice only applies in the UK! The courts here operate on the no order principle which basically means that they won't make any orders about custody unless the parents are in disagreement. It sounds here as though FOB isn't bothered so custody isn't something you need to worry about at the moment. If he's not bothered, I wouldn't worry yourself with giving him any updates, if he's interested he'll ask. If something were to happen to you, the court would look at your LO's best interests in deciding who should look after them. This will include who baby is most comfortable with, who's in a position to take care of him etc etc. It's highly unlikely that a court would award custody to a father who hasn't been involved in their baby's life as it wouldn't be best for baby. I hope that helps a bit
	Bespoke silver fingerprint, handprint and footprint jewellery.
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Dec 2nd, 2009, 23:04 PM	#8
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	I was gonna say that too

Status: Online

Dec 2nd, 2009, 23:26 PM	#9
sleepinbeauty Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: NY, USA Posts: 3,298	ight for it if you have to. He's an asshole and doesn't deserve the POSSIBILITY of having a say in your child's life. Good luck, mama!

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