For anyone who does not know my situation, basically it is that as soon as I found out I was pregnant at 3 1/2 weeks pregnant, i texted my boyfriend and told him the news (beginning of August). I never heard from him again (i tried to contact him loads) until last week when I wrote a letter to his parent's home address. He emailed me that day, saying he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby (wants me now to get an abortion - even though i am over 18 weeks!- idiot!) and that he will provide financially.. He thinks I have ruined his life! He also had said he would not contact me and doesn't want me to contact him.

Ok that was a little summary there. I wrote back to him last Thursday saying I would go the CSA etc and decided from that day that NO CONTACT begins. So it's been over a week now. He didn't reply to my last message, which is fine I didn't expect him too.

I think I am doing quite well though cos this week I had a scan and normally I would have wrote an email inviting him to it and also an email with the new scan pictures. This time I didn't do anything!!!! And I kind of don't want to which is good. I am still waiting to hear from his mum and dad to see if they want to be involved as grandparents, but have not heard from them. It's been a week and a half now. So have no idea what they will do... Maybe they just will not reply.

But I think thats it. I'll wait till end of November for them to reply and if they don't I will send another letter, and put in FOB'S email he wrote me, saying I am glad I know where I stand now and thanks for getting him to contact me.

But I am sort of thinking I am not making any more effort at all to get him to be involved. He has made his decision and will just have to live with that. I am not sure whether to let him know when baby is born or not? Thats a long way off though.

I think I might start dating again, although thats a bit weird when I am pregnant! Actually I thought this was weird, my sister went to the bank the other day and a guy who knows us both kept asking about my situation, like was I single now, and information about me being pregnant, and how he finds it awkward asking people on dates. Ok so I am not interested in him, but it just goes to show some guys would a date a pregnant woman!

Really sorry to hear about this.. i have a friend who had the same kind of thing happen to her.. im so sorry to hear about this again but at en of day all u need to think about it u and ur baby.. no1 else matters x x

First of all a massive WELL DONE for not contacting him! I'm really struggling at the minute with the no contact thing so good on you!

If they can't be arsed to find out for themselves then why should we have to run about telling them, you feel so stupid when you know you won't get a response

I would definately send one more letter to his parents just saying thanx for letting me know where I stand, I can't believe how people (men!!!) can just carry on living their lives knowing they've got a baby on the way, or even out there somewhere already, they have no morals or sense of responsibility!!

Hope you keep up your no contact, might make him think and wonder whats happening and what he's missing! Good on you

I'm sorry, I am just going thru the stage of getting used of not meeting him or having any contact whatsoever myself as well xxx We can maybe support each other thru this? xxx

Well done on being strong, I'm in similar position yet have no means of contact with fob. I would however send the rents one more letter with a copy of the email.

It's hard having no contact with fob, yet it gets easier with time. I understand how frustrating it can be. x x x

Ok... well I think maybe you need to tell him your decision and let him choose from what you have decided, instead of him giving you two options. You call the shots.... say what you're doing and see what he does. I still like my fob in a way as well, but he is not exactly offering anything! I think we deserve more than that. I have decided that there are so many other guys who could offer so much more, even if it's not their child. I have decided to keep my options open when it comes to guys. From now on I am going to not just date one person, but maybe three and they can compete between themselves to try and win me over. I just think what your fob is offering is basically a plateful of manipulation? Mine is offering avoidance and a heartless attitude. And I have decided thats not what I want to be offered. So if fob in future wants me to consider him as an option he'll need to offer a million times more and complete change of heart if I'm to be interested in him again.

I think it will be too hard to do no contact with yours until you tell him your decision for sure and he says what he thinks back.

I don't not think he has feelings for you.I just think that just now his feelings for what he wants for his own life have become more important than you, if that makes sense. x

I am much better now that he has told me where I stand. It has taken away the desire to contact him a lot. I only feel it a little bit now. xx

Well done!
Youll feel so much better for it!

I would send his parents another letter, but maybe you could hand deliver it to them? Just knock on their door and hand it over, that way you know that they deffinatley recieved this letter. Then again, a week and a half isnt that long, and if they did get the last letter i expect they are under a lot of pressure from their son, so it may take them a while to get their arses in gear lol

xx

Well done you! I'm glad you're feeling better about it

I don't have any contact with my ex - his choice - I wouldn't stop him if he wanted to be involved but he doesn't xx

I think you are able to think more sensible than I perhaps about the offering part.
All I know is that I want the baby far more than him and that this is my decision.