what a absolute prick!!
As said before, you and your little one are infinately better off without that jerk off.
Make sure you grab whatever cash out of him as you can.

I hope the mother sees sense and does the right thing for her grandchild.

I hope your ok also, id be fuming if i recieved that email personally.

It just drives me mad seeing these "boys" shirking there responsibilities. I am not a single mummy but me and OH went through a bad patch a couple of months ago and seperated for a bit and i was lucky that he was still very much involved and gave lots of financial help and it drives me crazy that these idiots get away with acting like this. They r all gonni regret it so much one day, probably when its too late! Its scary enough going it alone without them acting like tossers. Thinking of you Kx

Hopefully she gets to see that email and when she does she'll be very ashamed to call that "man" her son and want to make it up to you and bubs.
I know it's kind of 'mind gamey', but so be it - sometimes it needs to be done (apologies if i sound like a nutter there - but I'm sure a lot of people agree...? I hope!)

I agree!! heehee

I think she needs to see the email for herself, her son sounds like he's willing to use a few mind games himself to get what he wants... so i say lets use a few ourselves! haha

x

Oh my god what an arse............I am sure you and your baby will bee 100 times better off without him in your life.

I agree with showing his mum the email how dare he send that.

Good luck xx

Jesus what a tosser, I'm going through a similar thing as well, I've not heard from fob for almost 2 months. Had some contact with his sister but got me nowhere. How did u get hold of his parents address? I know my fob lives with his parents but in Madrid, and have no idea how to get the address even though I know his full name, DOB, even the area of Madrid he lives in but just cannot get an address.

I cannot believe how some of these arseholes live with themselves.

OMG!!!!!!! I've only just seen this.

What an absolute idiot!! The "honourable" thing....OMG. I'm in shock that these FOBs actually think this way!

And if he hadn't ignored you for the last 8 weeks you wouldn't have contacted his parents so he's no one to blame for that but himself.

If I was you I would reply that he won't hear from you again but you need his contact details for the CSA. Tell him you will save the emails so that the child can see them when he's older and choose whether he would like to contact his sperm donor.

I hope you're OK....its probably a kinda relief to have finally heard from him after all this time. But...wow, I'm kinda in shock over his stupid email.

xxx

Can't say much that hasn't already been said. Sorry to hear what happened, a shame that he's been awol for so long and when he does contact you that is his response. Hopefully his mum will pull through, have some contact with the baby and maybe even encourage him to do the right thing by his own child.

Just one negative thought - Did she def get the letter? I hope he didn't stop it getting to her?

Lou Yeah well really it is more his responsibility to tell his mum and dad than yours about baby, but then if he doesn't tell them, then you do feel like they should know... so it only leaves you then to tell them! I suppose it seems an ok idea going to their house once baby is born. omg can you imagine the shock they'll get if they didn't know anything at all about it! I do think its nice to let them know. Hmm I have never met my fob's mum before. She lives in Ireland so I would need to take a trip over!!!! And I think they may live in the countryside so I don't know how I would find it.... but I may think about doing it if she doesn't reply....

Eternal Rose "So he has a voice then"!!!! ha ha He finally spoke!!! And broke out of the silence!! He is 21 years old. Omg that letter was great especially the bit about "I think we can safely say that the ship has sailed from a reconcilliation point of view, so please dont flatter yourself & let any " me " & " you " scenarios cloud any judgement or decisions you make from now on." Thats so funny, cos in his letter he is kinda saying that he thinks his life is more important than me or that he is worth more than me, so that kinda puts him in his place a little bit!
"CSA will be interested to hear that you can be contacted at your parents address". That should freak him out too! Cos he thinks somehow he can't be contacted there. I really liked this letter. I thought it had the right kind of attitude so I basically sent it the way it was and added a few bits and pieces!!! "but you will be hearing from me again either directly or indirectly"- I like this bit because its basically not giving him a choice, I'm telling him what's happening!!! The one I wrote before was just too kind and caring and I felt more confident sending your version, cos I thought it said everything really well!! Thanks Eternal!!

I think I will send a copy of his email, but I will wait a little while and see if she contacts me first.

Tinkerbillita I got his parent's address from knowing his parent's business website address. There is a website where you can find the addresses of anyone who owns a website domain. I think they can put this information as private, but thankfully my fob's parents did not do that I don't know how you would find your fob's parent's address. That is really frustrating that he has not been in touch for two months. What was the last thing he said? Did he say he was just gonna not speak to you again, or did he just disappear?

Suzanne--"I hope you're OK....its probably a kinda relief to have finally heard from him after all this time. But...wow, I'm kinda in shock over his stupid email".--- Yeah I'm ok. It is hurtful in a way, but at the same time I feel such a sense of closure and I feel at peace with the situation. I feel like I can move on now. That it's reached the end of something and has started a new phase. One where I am in a more powerful position. And thats a good feeling. I just feel that he is the one who will regret this. I have done everything the right way really (ok well I would say that) and he has behaved really badly in this and now everyone can see that. And if he doesn't see LO he will always have it at the back of his mind and in someways that is his punishment, not to be nasty about it, but thats the truth of the matter. He will always know he wasn't there for his son or there for the mother of his son through her pregnancy and he will just have to live with that on his conscience and how he choose himself and his single life over that of his first son...

EmmaJane ----"Just one negative thought - Did she def get the letter? I hope he didn't stop it getting to her?"----

He lives in Scotland studying his degree and his home address is in Ireland, so that couldn't have happened. He does go home for weekends sometimes and always for xmas, and other holiday times, but this week he would have uni, so I can safely say that she received the letter! And also he wouldn't have had any idea that I would send her a letter cos he would have thought I didn't know the address.

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and opinions. It is really helpful. I wonder what will happen next. It's like a soap drama. Its quite a good story line actually.....