Hey!

Basically my question is how are you planning on informing FOB when your LO's are born etc?

Confusing question i know lol.... i mean along the lines of are you gonna ring/ text him saying your in labour? or just ring/ text saying LO is born? And are you letting him (and family possibly) come to the hospital to visit etc? Be at the hospital when your in labour? Or are you making them wait until you and LO are home? I know some of you lovely ladies have FOB that live close/ far away etc and everyone has unique and different situations. Im just really confused as too what to do regarding this I don't want FOB sitting his arse outside the door whilst in in labour type thing(he would do it if he could) but don't think i'd even want to see him straight after LO is born....i havnt seen him since i was 20 weeks! And he only started texting again a while ago and its about once every three weeks?! And i think he'd definately bring his mum (met once) and i havnt met the rest of his family at all!What if he appeared at the hospital with all of them?! None of them have contacted me throughout this pregnancy except his mum and it was a text message saying "hope your keeping well. stay in touch" Also don't know what i would say if i text/ rang him when LO is born...like do i give him name, gender, weight etc etc etc. what if he says something like what a horrible name.. or i hate it..change it etc? My mum said she would contact him for me if i wanted because i would have just given birth etc but i dont have a clue what to do!

Sorry if it sounds really stupid and its long and basically some of my confusing worries lol but would just like to hear what other people are planning on doing / have done! xx

What im planning on doing is going into labour and having Scarlett, then seeing how long the hospital plan on keeping me in for. If they are only keeping me in for the 6 hours, then i am going to tell him when i get home. If they are keeping me in for a day or two, then im going to call him while i am there, but i dont want him comming to the hospital. I want that time between me and Scarlett. I feel that i have been the one to carry her for 40 weeks and done everything i possibley can for her, that i deserve to have some time just me and the baby.

However i also no that he will not rush down anyways, he doesnt drive and he wont bother to get the train.

I know some people may not agree with me not telling him as soon as i go into labour, but he hasnt exactly made this pregnancy stress free for me, so i at least want to able to have the best labour that i possibley can, and that will only happen without him being there.

Hope that helps

Im going to text him when im in labour, not early labour, once im at the hospital. And i doubt he will come up, then ill possibly call him with details of weight etc, or text and send a picture. Then turn my phone off untill im ready to arrange for him to come up. thats assuming she turns and isnt breech!

If its a c section, ill get all the details and dates, ill tell him when it is, where he can find a BnB and when he can stay till - basically he can visit during visiting hours but once i go home, then he should too. hes not coming to our house. and then in jan he can come up once were more settled etc, he can also bloody well provide something for her, or hes limiting himself. not having ot anymore, no more part time. he wants to seee her? he has to provide. cant have only the fun parts,

We text Tom's dad and said I was in labour but not to come anywhere near us.. I had high bp and knew if he came up, it'd pretty much kill me.

Sent him another text when Tom was born and again he wouldn't come up so told them to come the following weekend and they gave us no choice. I kept out the way though

I don't intend to make any contact at all. I doubt he would be interested in any case. I don't know if that makes me lucky or not really, but ultimately its not about me, its about LO, and so far he/she's not had much luck with people.

i was wondering the same about this baby too hun, im not sure what to do about scans and stuff either. i might just text him saying the scans on this day at this time, if you wanna come then meet me here blah blah but im not sure about the birth .. i suppose ill have to see how my labour pans out etc x

I have no idea as of yet, I'm only 8 weeks so just gonna see how things plan out. Ideally I would like FOB to be there but if he shows no interest in the next few months or doesn't do anything for LO then I'm not so sure!!

Right I'll tell you what my plan is :

I'm not gonna tell him when I go into labour as I could be at home hours with contractions and I don't want him rearing his ugly head! I'm gonna text him when I'm on my way to the hospital, I've told him that he can be at the hospital but not in the room.

Also I've told him that he'll be a visitor, I don't want to see him straight away. So he'll be able to see me when I've moved to the ward and its time for visitors. And I've told him that he has to fit in with other people visiting!

I did try to put him off because I'd rather not see him til I'm a bit more settled but I don't feel like I can stop him to be honest!

I have told him that I want his family to wait until I'm home, nearer the time I will probably say I don't want them coming until I've been home a week or so. I don't exactly get on with his mum so there is no way I want her coming round the day after I've given birth!

i'm not going to contact him at all. he hasnt bothered to respond to any other things iev told him like scans, due date and sex of the baby so the way i see it he has no right to know when his son is here

I plan on not telling him. If he wants to know what is going on he can contact me now, I'm not running after him like I have been. :/ I always seem to get let down...