Right my SIL is due Sept and is about to get the ball rolling for CSA. She has given her ex partnet (who left her and got back with his ex) lots of chances to have contact and now its got to the point where he is denying the baby is his.

What sort of evidence do you reckon we'l need?

Oh and does she have to have his name on the birth certificate to get any maintenance just they werent together very long and he wont be on the birth certificate?

I have conversations on my phone when he has rang me and on Sunday he admitted the baby is his but then said he wanted a DNA test. I have these burnt to CD could we use these as evidence against him?

Just makes you sick that the twat is blaming her for all this when he could have easily bagged it up.............

Gosh this could be my story you are writing!

Basically the CSA will take what information your SIL gives as the parents and start the process. The documents will then go to him. If he disputes parentage then he will have to detail this with the CSA who will then make a DNA test happen. If is this mans responsibility to pay for this test. Once this is done and confirmed CSA will start back with the case. More and more are using this DNA route to delay payment as all it does is set back CSA paying out.

Good look for her. I am just about to go through this. I too am due in September. I have never cheated in my entire live (oh did on many occassions) he too is back with his ex wife after 2 years seperated and it is her that is planting seeds in his head about DNA. I emailed him yesterday about it saying I have nothing to hide and that if he is still disputing parentage then can he order the DNA test now so that we are ready straight away as soon as my daughter is born. I just dont want anymore delays on it. Needless to say I havent heard anything back from him yet. We were so in love and I never even spoke with another guy let alone anything else - it breaks my heart the DNA route but I have nothing to hide so I just want to get it over with

Incidentally she cant start proceedings with CSA until the baby is actually born

Hope this helps

Sam
x

oh sorry as well he doesnt need to be on the birth certificate to pay maintenance no. This is because men need to be present for their name to go on the certificate so if he is being difficult the chances are he wont go - mines wont

Yeah thats why she has to wait for the CSA until she has had the baby. Her ex partner keeps making up shit and getting the police on us even though we dont contact him.

I have about 5 phones calls recorded from him saying various things and being threatening, I think his partner isnt helping. Its the same old excuses blaming her for cheating on him.

The solicitor has said that he may turn around and say that it wasnt him who called but its worth a shot at giving them to the CSA. On the other hand I am doing a diary for her of each day that he has contacted her or us and what has been said, I am also collecting a lot of evidence whether it be screen shots of his facebook statuses or his lasses. Its ridiculous the lengths you have to go.

How are you coping?

I'm not really coping no. They just don't realise the impact they have on us!! I swear though I will not give in. I think he trully believes I don't have it in me to go to the csa - oh boy how wrong is he!! I won't stop until he is made pay.

Hope your sil is baring up.

Youll be fine - she is much better now mean ive not long had a little boy and she has not had to buy a thing which has helped, my sister has given her a decent pram so she is more settled

If I could prove that him n her were together at the time of conception through photos taken - they were put on Facebook on the day of conception would that be good evidence?

PS if you want I can put you in touch with my SIL xxx

Hi thanks for your kind words. I'm getting there. I think the only thing the csa will accept is the DNA. I know for me my ex is pushing for one so he wants it over but I'm also aware that if he changes his mind then my lawyer will get a court order raised against him - should be the same for your sil. It's great she has you. Yes happy to be in touch with her. Good to know/ help someone in the same situ.

Sam
xx

Thats crap aint it how the CSA work things, Ive done her a diary with absolutely loads of stuff which we will sent in spose every little helps

Really hope you work things out before hand and hats off to ya for dealing with it

PM flying over for ya x

Girls - something else that might help you!!!
If FOBs refuse DNA test - you will be very pleased to hear that the CSA assume he is then the father! Basically if there is nothing to hide the man will do the DNA test - which is true! I know its not easy! But you are not alone!

He has no way of backing out of this one like he' a thick twat and cant cover his back good to get some advice like