should i let him see the baby?

jazmine18 · Jun 28th, 2009, 19:17 PM

ok, basically i found out my OH was cheating on me with a few other girls. He swore on his own daughters life to me nothing was going on, and i also found out on times he let sophia down (which was alot) he claimed he was working extra time but was actually with these other girls. and also he never texts or phones me much to ask how shes doing.
In your opinion how much access do you think i should give him?

xxannxx · Jun 29th, 2009, 16:38 PM

My ex sees LO overnight 1 night per week, usually from 1pm-1pm next day. I set out specific times and days, as he also let LO down a number of times and wanted to make sure that I could make plans for myself and LO to do things without ex disrupting everything when he felt like seeing him, and also so as I didn't waste too much time waiting around for someone who wasn't going to turn up. However, I have made sure that I have done everything in my power to make sure that ex has a relationship with LO, so if hes not around when LO grows up or has let him down time and time again, my conscience will be completely clear.

pumpkinpie2 · Jun 29th, 2009, 21:16 PM

i think he shoudl still be able to see his daughter even tho what he did was bad

mz_jackie86 · Jun 30th, 2009, 13:12 PM

regardless of what he has done he is still her dad and u shouldnt let what has happen get in the way of that.....as long as he makes the effort and is a good dad then its always a good thing that the dad is around....

Hope it works out ok for you x

Jdubya · Jul 3rd, 2009, 15:15 PM

Hey :-) I know he is your baby's father and all but he has disrespected you and sophia. I would say to set the tone early or this could become common in the future. some boys will never learn unless given a wake up call.

sweetshops · Jul 4th, 2009, 19:31 PM

You should give him full acess in a in a regular set of days but careful not to get your lil one too excited, unless his actually on the doorstep. If he doesn't follow through with it, give him another chance. After that if he's still messing it up, tell him that was his last chance. Sooner or later he'll reliase he has to get his priorities in order.

Save the kids from dissapointment instead of them thinking that daddy doesn't care about them when he's continuiously letting them down.

sweetshops · Jul 4th, 2009, 19:37 PM

As for him cheating on you- well when your strutting down the street, a confident yummy mummy- he'll keep looking back and think twice.

(sorry if i'm being too straightfoward)

You should always do what you feel is the best for your princess, hope it sorts out 4 you. x

Jade--x · Jul 5th, 2009, 07:43 AM

Personally, if it was me, and he'd chose sleeping with girls over his daughter..he's already proved his commitment..and that nothing! My ex does exactly the same, except they're different circumstances (he came to see him at 4 weeks old - he's now 21 tomorrow - and then started getting abusive like he was in the relationship and told me if I didn't give him his way he's taking me to court - he's controlled me for a year he's not threatening me and controlling me anymore - and hes making out to everyone I'm stopping him - I never did until I got his solicitors letter - and that he wants nothing more than to see Tyler, but when I offered him the chance to come round to see him he was 'busy all that week' because it was his 'last week at college' (he goes 2 days a week) I later found out he was busy with his new girlfriend that he's sponging money off at Alton Towers..)
If it was me and it was my Dad..I'd personally rather not know him that have someone like that..
But everyone has different opinions

sparkswillfly · Jul 5th, 2009, 07:47 AM

I know its hard but you shouldnt let the fact that he cheated on you affect the relationship between the baby and her dad. Its a completely seperate issue. You should set up a regular agreement that you both agree to. Maybe one full day at the weekend say 9-5 and one evening during the week?

Jun 28th, 2009, 19:17 PM	#1
jazmine18 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: London Posts: 919	should i let him see the baby? ok, basically i found out my OH was cheating on me with a few other girls. He swore on his own daughters life to me nothing was going on, and i also found out on times he let sophia down (which was alot) he claimed he was working extra time but was actually with these other girls. and also he never texts or phones me much to ask how shes doing. In your opinion how much access do you think i should give him?

Status: Offline

Jun 29th, 2009, 16:38 PM	#2
xxannxx Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 151	My ex sees LO overnight 1 night per week, usually from 1pm-1pm next day. I set out specific times and days, as he also let LO down a number of times and wanted to make sure that I could make plans for myself and LO to do things without ex disrupting everything when he felt like seeing him, and also so as I didn't waste too much time waiting around for someone who wasn't going to turn up. However, I have made sure that I have done everything in my power to make sure that ex has a relationship with LO, so if hes not around when LO grows up or has let him down time and time again, my conscience will be completely clear.

Status: Offline

Jun 29th, 2009, 21:16 PM	#3
pumpkinpie2 Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 46	i think he shoudl still be able to see his daughter even tho what he did was bad

Status: Offline

Jun 30th, 2009, 13:12 PM	#4
mz_jackie86 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: london Posts: 1,606	regardless of what he has done he is still her dad and u shouldnt let what has happen get in the way of that.....as long as he makes the effort and is a good dad then its always a good thing that the dad is around.... Hope it works out ok for you x

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 15:15 PM	#5
Jdubya Father to be Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: savannah ga Posts: 14	Hey :-) I know he is your baby's father and all but he has disrespected you and sophia. I would say to set the tone early or this could become common in the future. some boys will never learn unless given a wake up call.

Status: Offline

Jul 4th, 2009, 19:31 PM	#6
sweetshops Mum (Mom) New BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5	You should give him full acess in a in a regular set of days but careful not to get your lil one too excited, unless his actually on the doorstep. If he doesn't follow through with it, give him another chance. After that if he's still messing it up, tell him that was his last chance. Sooner or later he'll reliase he has to get his priorities in order. Save the kids from dissapointment instead of them thinking that daddy doesn't care about them when he's continuiously letting them down.

Status: Offline

Jul 4th, 2009, 19:37 PM	#7
sweetshops Mum (Mom) New BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5	As for him cheating on you- well when your strutting down the street, a confident yummy mummy- he'll keep looking back and think twice. (sorry if i'm being too straightfoward) You should always do what you feel is the best for your princess, hope it sorts out 4 you. x

Status: Offline

Jul 5th, 2009, 07:43 AM	#8
Jade--x Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Derby Posts: 667	Personally, if it was me, and he'd chose sleeping with girls over his daughter..he's already proved his commitment..and that nothing! My ex does exactly the same, except they're different circumstances (he came to see him at 4 weeks old - he's now 21 tomorrow - and then started getting abusive like he was in the relationship and told me if I didn't give him his way he's taking me to court - he's controlled me for a year he's not threatening me and controlling me anymore - and hes making out to everyone I'm stopping him - I never did until I got his solicitors letter - and that he wants nothing more than to see Tyler, but when I offered him the chance to come round to see him he was 'busy all that week' because it was his 'last week at college' (he goes 2 days a week) I later found out he was busy with his new girlfriend that he's sponging money off at Alton Towers..) If it was me and it was my Dad..I'd personally rather not know him that have someone like that.. But everyone has different opinions

Status: Offline

Jul 5th, 2009, 07:47 AM	#9
sparkswillfly Mum (Mom) Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: London Posts: 9,888	I know its hard but you shouldnt let the fact that he cheated on you affect the relationship between the baby and her dad. Its a completely seperate issue. You should set up a regular agreement that you both agree to. Maybe one full day at the weekend say 9-5 and one evening during the week?

Status: Offline

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