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 Forum - Support for parents that are going it alone. Single parenting can bring many ups and downs, trying and emotional times. Talk with others who are bringing up children on their own. This thread is called '

How am i going to cope?

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Old Jun 26th, 2009, 18:47 PM  
Ash_P
Due Feb with 1st
Active BnB Member

 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 995

How am i going to cope?


Im very confused rite now. Dh and I were trying for 2.5 yrs to get pg and finally it happened may 28th. Last nite he sat me down and told me that he isnt happy anymore and thinks we have run our course. I still cant get my head round it. Iv tried everything, iv suggested conselling, trying to talk it out, a break away, but he just doesnt want to try anymore. I cant help thinking theres more too it but he wont admit anything.
I just so scared now cause i dunno how I can cope. I cant afford the house on my own and I ddunno if I can even afford to set up a new home yet. Iv phoned the benefit office to see if i am entitled to anything to help me out, but i`m not entitled anything until 12 weeks before baby is due. Im not due til feb.

Can any of u please give me some advice, Im so scared. I never thought this would happen. I love him to bits but I cant change his mind and I want my baby to have the best start to life that i can give it .
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Old Jun 26th, 2009, 20:59 PM  
precious-gift
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175
hey hun, i know what your going through im 12 weeks down the line, it does get easier, although it still breaks my heart.
me and dh had tried for 4 years to concieve, had fertility treatment, when i was 12 weeks pregnant he suddenly changed saying he was scared of turning into his dad, and we would be better without him, also that he didn't think he loved me anymore. difference between us is that i found out he was having an affair a month later, he left me for other woman even though they had just met up twice before i found out!!
until going through this i never realised how many men leave their partners when they are pregnant, it is so sad, they don't seem able to cope with it. what i keep being told is that men don't see themselves as father until they actually see their baby in the flesh, after all he is done i know that when baby is here it will hurt him and i truly believe he hasn't left me for here but because he is scrared of becoming a father.
the thought of becoming a single mother is scary, but you can do it, you are still in the early stages, he may sort himself out, but in the meantime you need to think about yourself and your baby.
i also counldn't afford mortgage, our house is going up for sale, i have moved in with my parents, council housing is hard to come by where i am. Do you work? is there anyone who can help you? you are also entitled to stay in your house with him contributing to mortgage, i would suggest you see a solicitor. has he said what help he will give you, he can't leave you with nothing.
you won't feel it just now but time is a healer, i still love my husband and i know it will take a long time for me to get over, but i want my baby so much, and this is what is keeping me going.
if you need to chat pm me
take care xx
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