comment today that upset me

JASMAK · Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:26 AM

I know that my friend had no intentions of hurting me, and she wasn't trying to be mean, but she said something that really hurt. She has three children. The magic number that I want - so desperately. I KNOW I am lucky to have two kids already. But, coming from someone who has what I want, this hurt. She asked me if I was TTC still. I guess I must have told her at one point that I was. So I said yes, and that we have been ttc for 26 mths and that we have had three losses. She said, "oh well, you have a boy and a girl...trust me, three isn't that great". To me, that is as rude as a millionaire going up to a starving ethiopian and saying "no really, food is completely over-rated". Just WTF???!!! Maybe I am just PMSing here, but I was upset. I didn't say anything, but why is it that people just can't stop and listen to their own words before speaking???

Dahma · Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:32 AM

oh well im sorry, think long and hard maybe she said that because she was trying to make u feel better, sometimes people say things to be kind and others take it differently...im sure that was not meant to hurt u....

Alexas Mommy · Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:33 AM

That is a really awful thing to say-especially to someone who is wanting another so bad. One time my OH's mom said that if she could re live her life, she would have never had kids

I would never think or say anything like that-ever, and there she said it in a serious conversation

Dahma · Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:48 AM

im very sorry about ur losses

Lovely goory · Jan 22nd, 2009, 02:00 AM

Don't take it to the heart maybe she didn't mean it to hurt u. Be happy life is too short to be upset....just talk to her. I'm sure everything will be okay.

FJL · Jan 22nd, 2009, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely goory

Don't take it to the heart maybe she didn't mean it to hurt u. Be happy life is too short to be upset....just talk to her. I'm sure everything will be okay.

If being happy was as easy as waving a magic wand then that'd be great...but its not. LTTTC at any stage is a heartbreaking process. To me, your post makes it very clear that you have no idea what IF is like and if thats the most supportive post you can come up with then its probably better to say nothing

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahma

oh well im sorry, think long and hard maybe she said that because she was trying to make u feel better, sometimes people say things to be kind and others take it differently...im sure that was not meant to hurt u....

How on earth could her saying that be intended to make Jasmak feel better???

I think I know where your post in the open LTTTC area came from now Jasmak!

Geez Louise...

Tracie87 · Jan 22nd, 2009, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahma

oh well im sorry, think long and hard maybe she said that because she was trying to make u feel better, sometimes people say things to be kind and others take it differently...im sure that was not meant to hurt u....

in no way is her friend trying to make her feel better.. iv been trying as long as OP has and trust me its no walk in the park.
its rude that she even implyed that hunni.. yes your blessed with 2 but u want another. its wat ur heart wants

**Wobbles** · Jan 22nd, 2009, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahma

oh well im sorry, think long and hard maybe she said that because she was trying to make u feel better, sometimes people say things to be kind and others take it differently...im sure that was not meant to hurt u....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely goory

Don't take it to the heart maybe she didn't mean it to hurt u. Be happy life is too short to be upset....just talk to her. I'm sure everything will be okay.

Best intentions were probably meant but can I point out that this section of BabyandBump is very sensitive & unless you can relate to the topics personally maybe you could stick to the areas you will be more suited to.

Thanks

Dahma · Jan 22nd, 2009, 09:36 AM

i do see where the comment came from now, and i was tryin to be nice, but since its being said that i shouldnt post in here anymore i wont, because i see that trying to make someone feel better does go a long way....and i am new so i wasnt aware that because i am pg theres a specific thread i should be posting on...my appologies....and goodluck to you all....so much for a welcoming and friendly website!!!

leeanne · Jan 22nd, 2009, 09:53 AM

I can see where your comment may have upset her especially when started with "oh well Im sorry". Almost like saying "no big deal, shit happens."

This is a friendly site and perhaps your intentions were good but the wording of your post was hurtful.

Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:26 AM	#1
JASMAK Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: CANADA!!! Posts: 10,951	comment today that upset me I know that my friend had no intentions of hurting me, and she wasn't trying to be mean, but she said something that really hurt. She has three children. The magic number that I want - so desperately. I KNOW I am lucky to have two kids already. But, coming from someone who has what I want, this hurt. She asked me if I was TTC still. I guess I must have told her at one point that I was. So I said yes, and that we have been ttc for 26 mths and that we have had three losses. She said, "oh well, you have a boy and a girl...trust me, three isn't that great". To me, that is as rude as a millionaire going up to a starving ethiopian and saying "no really, food is completely over-rated". Just WTF???!!! Maybe I am just PMSing here, but I was upset. I didn't say anything, but why is it that people just can't stop and listen to their own words before speaking???

Status: Online

Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:32 AM	#2
Dahma Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: new york Posts: 65	oh well im sorry, think long and hard maybe she said that because she was trying to make u feel better, sometimes people say things to be kind and others take it differently...im sure that was not meant to hurt u....

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:33 AM	#3
Alexas Mommy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 7,246	That is a really awful thing to say-especially to someone who is wanting another so bad. One time my OH's mom said that if she could re live her life, she would have never had kids I would never think or say anything like that-ever, and there she said it in a serious conversation

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2009, 01:48 AM	#4
Dahma Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: new york Posts: 65	im very sorry about ur losses

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2009, 02:00 AM	#5
Lovely goory Mum (Mom) New BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 8	Don't take it to the heart maybe she didn't mean it to hurt u. Be happy life is too short to be upset....just talk to her. I'm sure everything will be okay.

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2009, 09:36 AM	#9
Dahma Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: new york Posts: 65	i do see where the comment came from now, and i was tryin to be nice, but since its being said that i shouldnt post in here anymore i wont, because i see that trying to make someone feel better does go a long way....and i am new so i wasnt aware that because i am pg theres a specific thread i should be posting on...my appologies....and goodluck to you all....so much for a welcoming and friendly website!!!

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2009, 09:53 AM	#10
leeanne Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 26,691	I can see where your comment may have upset her especially when started with "oh well Im sorry". Almost like saying "no big deal, shit happens." This is a friendly site and perhaps your intentions were good but the wording of your post was hurtful.

Status: Offline

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