Comment today that upset me - Page 2

Barneyboo · Jan 22nd, 2009, 13:51 PM

Hi Sweetie,

Some people make me

Its always comments like that come from peeps that are usually hunky dory and have had no problems with conceiving so thoughtless!!! Big Hugs babe

CurlySue · Jan 22nd, 2009, 16:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahma

i do see where the comment came from now, and i was tryin to be nice, but since its being said that i shouldnt post in here anymore i wont, because i see that trying to make someone feel better does go a long way....and i am new so i wasnt aware that because i am pg theres a specific thread i should be posting on...my appologies....and goodluck to you all....so much for a welcoming and friendly website!!!

You hardly breezed in with a sympathetic ear, now, did you, love? "Oh well," you started your post with. As in, "never mind"...

I'm all for welcoming and friendly but show a bit of sensitivity. You're pregnant. The whole reason we are in this section is because we're not, and that feels shit. It feels utterly shit, and to have someone 'try to make us feel better' in the way that this woman did is insensitive and thoughtless.

People really should think before they speak.

And to the person who said "be happy"...you have your child. It's tantamount to telling us to "relax" - another pet peeve.

wishing4bub#3 · Jan 27th, 2009, 23:51 PM

I know how you feel i get it from my family. it took 4 years for me to get DD#2 and my own mother told me not to bother one is enough. it hurts so much that i hae not told her we are trying for number 3. I remember when i lost DD1 twin family and friends said it was good because twins are hard i was like WTF!

it just makes it hard to trust you friends with something that is important to you. Thats why i love forums you get to know people in the same boat as you and know how friggin hard it is to hear women getting pregnant in the first week of trying

jacky24 · Jan 28th, 2009, 00:28 AM

Awww hun im sorry for all the inconsiderate things someone that calls themself your friend said....
HUGE

...
*good luck on this round of clomid*

buffycat · Feb 5th, 2009, 06:57 AM

it's clear......she doesn't understand how it feels....maybe she was one of the lucky ones who had no problems.......

Ju_bubbs · Feb 8th, 2009, 07:01 AM

That is an awful thing for anyone to say to you, especially a 'friend'!!
A lot of people , including my Gyne, seem to feel the need to tell me that it doens't matter that i cant seem to have another baby coz atleast I already have 3! Yeah, ok... so I'm very lucky to already have 3 children, is that meant to make it easier that I cant get pregnant again without it ending in MC!!?

Lawhra · Mar 11th, 2009, 05:58 AM

What a terrible thing to say to someone. I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you class as a friend.
Some people really do not know what to say to people who are ttc. Other people are just downright insensitive.
I too have heard some upsetting attempts to "make me feel better" or insensitive remarks and it makes you feel so crappy.
But the ladies on this site who understand are becoming my crutch at the moment. Ignore the people who don't understand, plenty of us here do

buffycat · Mar 18th, 2009, 13:18 PM

wtf?!?!

she obviously has not gone through any of this.....but then then.....surely she would know that that is a really insensitive thing to say?

i'm sorry though....you don't need to hear these sort of things....

lolly101 · Jun 15th, 2009, 16:26 PM

silly woman.....

I have a friend and last year she was talking about children and so flippantly said" if I couldnt have children I'd accept it and get on with my life" WWWHHHAATTT says her with 3 healthy children and 1 was a "mistake"

She didn't know at the time we had been trying for over 5 years for our number 2 baby..... I just said to her until you are in that situation you have NO idea what it is like so don't comment. She looked at me as if to say "oooh".... that was a thoughtless comment made and like others have said when you conceive easily you have NO idea of the heartache caused each month....big

hun..lets hoe soon your 3rd is on its way xxx

Sparklestar · Jul 24th, 2009, 07:55 AM

People are so insensitive!! I can't believe your friend would say that to you, it's not nice, as you say like a millionaire and an eithiopian (sp?) and yes people who have gotten pregnant straight off will never know what its like for people who have really struggled and who are still struggling, its one of those things that unless you've walked the road then you can't possibly know. Big hugs to you and the best of luck xxx

Jan 22nd, 2009, 13:51 PM	#11
Barneyboo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,510	Hi Sweetie, Some people make me Its always comments like that come from peeps that are usually hunky dory and have had no problems with conceiving so thoughtless!!! Big Hugs babe

Status: Offline

Jan 27th, 2009, 23:51 PM	#13
wishing4bub#3 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 605	I know how you feel i get it from my family. it took 4 years for me to get DD#2 and my own mother told me not to bother one is enough. it hurts so much that i hae not told her we are trying for number 3. I remember when i lost DD1 twin family and friends said it was good because twins are hard i was like WTF! it just makes it hard to trust you friends with something that is important to you. Thats why i love forums you get to know people in the same boat as you and know how friggin hard it is to hear women getting pregnant in the first week of trying

Status: Offline

Jan 28th, 2009, 00:28 AM	#14
jacky24 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: South Africa- Krugersdorp Posts: 3,807	Awww hun im sorry for all the inconsiderate things someone that calls themself your friend said.... HUGE ... good luck on this round of clomid

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2009, 06:57 AM	#15
buffycat Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Shropshire, England. Posts: 2,791	it's clear......she doesn't understand how it feels....maybe she was one of the lucky ones who had no problems.......

Status: Offline

Feb 8th, 2009, 07:01 AM	#16
Ju_bubbs Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: UK Posts: 4,765	That is an awful thing for anyone to say to you, especially a 'friend'!! A lot of people , including my Gyne, seem to feel the need to tell me that it doens't matter that i cant seem to have another baby coz atleast I already have 3! Yeah, ok... so I'm very lucky to already have 3 children, is that meant to make it easier that I cant get pregnant again without it ending in MC!!?

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2009, 05:58 AM	#17
Lawhra Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: South West Posts: 2,484	What a terrible thing to say to someone. I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you class as a friend. Some people really do not know what to say to people who are ttc. Other people are just downright insensitive. I too have heard some upsetting attempts to "make me feel better" or insensitive remarks and it makes you feel so crappy. But the ladies on this site who understand are becoming my crutch at the moment. Ignore the people who don't understand, plenty of us here do

Status: Offline

Mar 18th, 2009, 13:18 PM	#18
buffycat Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Shropshire, England. Posts: 2,791	wtf?!?! she obviously has not gone through any of this.....but then then.....surely she would know that that is a really insensitive thing to say? i'm sorry though....you don't need to hear these sort of things....

Status: Offline

Jun 15th, 2009, 16:26 PM	#19
lolly101 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: poole Dorset Posts: 2,508	silly woman..... I have a friend and last year she was talking about children and so flippantly said" if I couldnt have children I'd accept it and get on with my life" WWWHHHAATTT says her with 3 healthy children and 1 was a "mistake" She didn't know at the time we had been trying for over 5 years for our number 2 baby..... I just said to her until you are in that situation you have NO idea what it is like so don't comment. She looked at me as if to say "oooh".... that was a thoughtless comment made and like others have said when you conceive easily you have NO idea of the heartache caused each month....big hun..lets hoe soon your 3rd is on its way xxx

Status: Offline

Jul 24th, 2009, 07:55 AM	#20
Sparklestar Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kidderminster, West Midlands Posts: 541	People are so insensitive!! I can't believe your friend would say that to you, it's not nice, as you say like a millionaire and an eithiopian (sp?) and yes people who have gotten pregnant straight off will never know what its like for people who have really struggled and who are still struggling, its one of those things that unless you've walked the road then you can't possibly know. Big hugs to you and the best of luck xxx

Status: Offline

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