Apparently you can get Childcare Vouchers from your employer. It doesnt cost them ANYTHING...
How it works:
Say your normal pay packet is £750 after tax and your childcare is £500 per month...
Get £500 worth of vourchers instead of being paid the full £750, that way you get the full £500 that you have earnt and you get a pay packet of £250, which of course YOU WONT GET TAXED ON!!!!
You might also quailify for other benifits as your 'wage' is so low! ]]>
This is the advert:
Home Based Typist/Data Entry Clerks Positions Available
We have several openings available in this area. Earn £250.00 ($470.06, €368.04) - £500.00 ($940.120, €736.084) each week. We are seeking only honest, self-motivated people with a desire to work in the home typing and data entry field, from the comfort of their own homes. The preferred applicants should be at least 18 years old with Internet access. No experience is needed. However the following skills are desirable: Basic computer and typing skills, ability to spell and print neatly, ability to follow directions.
Requirements: Computer with Internet access, valid email address, good typing skills. If you fit the above description and meet the requirements, please apply at workfromhomeuk@ymail.com stating your location. Please only SERIOUS applicants.
Do people think this will be dodgy? Or okay? Anyone ever done anything like this? xx ]]>
So since the day i came home from hospital my mums expected me to do all the families washing, walk the dog, feed the dog and cat, brush/hoover and mop the floors and have the families dinner ready for everyone getting home from work, im at home alone all day with lexi, the first few weeks were ok because she slept alot but the past few weeks shes been awake alot more during the day and crying to be picked up, she just wants to be held and if im not in sight for more than 10 mins she cries, she only naps for about half an hour every few hours, and because of this i dont have time to do my own washing and ironing let alone everyone elses, OH can only come down to mine 2 days a week and those are the days where i get the most done but not everything. and she comes home and shouts at me and tells me i do nothing and im lazy which hurts because i do as much as i can and my older brother and sister actually do nothing..
Now, the next part really gets me, im on income support atm and i use the money for lexis milk and nappies, which arent exactly cheap when your only getting so much a week. and my brother and sister eat the food use the electric in our house, and they dont pay anything into the house, ive my parents money for anything, but for some reason im expected to?
so on wednesday past, OH came down and looked after lexi while i did all my washing/drying and ironing and all of lexis, i tidied and cleaned the bathroom, my room, and the kitchen, and finally made myself a proper meal, now we were due to go and stay at OH's house that night, so i was packing our stuff and finally got a shower where i could wash myself properly and got to dry my hair straight away etc. so my mum comes in, looks around, for some reason unknown to me she just starts, making snide comments and being pretty childish, she asked if i'd hoovered the hall and i said no i was doing other things, and she went nuts, shouting at me saying i do nothing, i give nothing and im just a layabout etc. and she seem me getting ready to go and said are you going? and i said yeah we're staying at skips tonight you know that, and she went 'thanks very much louise' and kept going on and on at me until i left, she even opened the front door and shouted out after me just to 'stay there and let skip keep you'..so we've been here since wednesday.
now my brother rang me asking me to come home and talk to dad about it because im really close to my dad and hes abit upset that i feel i cant come home because of her. i said i'd ring him when he got home from work tonight.i then get a phonecall from my sister shouting at me for having lexi at skips all week, and my mum had clearly gone through my post and found a bank statement about ONE late credit crd repayment and she had a go at me about that even though its been paid off.
my mum says she'll ring social services because 3 of our friends live in this house aswell, but the housei s clean, tidy and warm, lexi has EVERYTHING she needs here, minus the bad enviroment my mum was causing at home, and shes alot happier because im alot happier.
so now i dont know what to do, because i dont want to go back there, but if i stay here i'll have to switch doctors for lexi and take her to a new health visitor that i dont know, and i'll lose my income support because skip works, and on top of that my mum threatening to call SS. she's being so childish and cruel when i have done nothing wrong, i feel she expects to much of me and nothing from my brother&sister, my brother and my dad understand but my sisters just enjoying being the favorite atm..what can i do to make my mum see sense? there is no talking to her because she dosent listen, any advice would be great.. ]]>
Was speaking to a friend yesterday, shes 16, 16 weeks pregnant and is moving into her new 3 bedroomed house on the 6th december !!! She got it through private renting, she saved up £150 herself, then applied for a budgeting loan, who gave her i think £600 to pay the bond and upfront rent. Shes got all her furniture sorted from family and everything, and has also applied for housing benefit for them too give her £128 a week for her monthly rent.
Does this sound too good to be true to anyone else?? But its all true and its happening, now i want it so bad !! Me and oh was looking at houses last night, and i have found a gorgeous 3 bedroomed house in the middle of my and my ohs house !!! Its £595 a month, and i was saying to her that it would be impossible for us to do it, get the money pay for everything and so on, but she told me to send off for a budgeting loan and housing benefit form then it would all happen for me.
Could this really happen? OH never wantd to move out so soon, but now he is more keen than i am. I just want this so much now, a beautiful house in a nice area, it just seems like a fairytale.
Could i really get it to happen? ]]>
I know that our food bill has shot up over the past few months, i was just wondering how much or little it has affected everyone....
:hug: ]]>
i always feel like i barely skim the surface of what needs to be done in the house. i wish i had one of those sparkling clean houses.
everyday im at home i try and put washing in the machine and put away clean stuff, sweep, do the dishes, and generally tidy up but i never feel the house is clean.
There are a million little things i need to do like tidy up the closets so i could actually find a piece of my clothing, match the millions of socks who lost their mates ages ago.., clean out the kitchen cupboards, wash the fridge..
i could go on and on but i wont
anyway else feel like i do?.. and the worst part is i dont even work! i just study two days a week. so 3 days a week im at home! its so embaressing :blush: ]]>
I'm pissed off!
I've been so nice and so accommodating and quietly irritated throughout pregnancy, but sleep deprivation has given me strength to feel like next time I will just answer the phone and tell her to never ever call again. How unthoughtful could you be? She'll call and then when she hears the baby crying she'll jump on me with "whats wrong with the baby!"... err... YOU WOKE HIM UP!!!
Luckily, he's actually feeding while I'm typing... I must be a mum, I can multitask! ]]>
It has only been backdated 3 months what a bloody shock. I am so fed up with them :hissy:
For those of you who don't know, we applied well within the time limit but they screwed our application form up and told us to reapply, assured us that it would all be backdated. But you know, they are completely USELESS, so it is to be expected! ]]>
My OH has a little 3yr old boy from a prevous relationship.
We have been half trying to concieve/ half just not using protection for the last two months... so we have every intention of having a baby but no demand on forcing it to happen.
But last night we sat an talked about how he'd feel about m whilst i was pregnant? would he still find me attactive and would he still have sex with me etc.?
He said ofcouse id still find you attractive and love you more because the thought of it makes us so close, i find it a real attraction.
But then i just back tracked to his ex and how he must of been the same to her and her being pg must of done it for him. I just said this and he said no strangely it made me feel the other way with her cos i didnt love her in the first place. and i thought ?? are you just saying that?
Now i think to myself all those first moments and things you do with your first born that you share and go through together, she has already stolen from me! and i know this is a bit rant-ish, but why did he have to have a chjild with her when he cheated on her left right and centre never loved her and didnt want a child but was stupid enough to not wear protection to now ruin what he want with me cos it'll just never be the same and im petrified he'll compare our kid to his and he'll do the "me and **** did it like this when we had ***"
Or "when he was born we....."
I just cant get it out of my head... am i being ridiculous?
Also i don't want her to know anything but he said he'd have to tell her most things about our children because she has his other child?? how does that work? i dont want her near my children as she has nothing and will have nothing to say toward them....
How do i stop feeling resentful to him for having another child first? It would be fine but he has openly admitted that he didnt want a baby with her she just tried to trap him.... and thats so hard because she doesnt deserve to take those moments when she didnt deserve them!
Sorry for the rant girls tell me off if im being a bit of a cow, but i guess all these hormones!
xx ]]>
:dohh: said to me 'all i need now is a little girl!' :rofl:
xx ]]>
Ive read up on it and your allowed to work 10 days in the maternity pay period before you lose the SMP!! Anyone done it??
What do u need to do?? ]]>
And what made it worst was we were meant to be viewing a new house yesterday and i couldn't go so OH had to go on his own, he likes it so were going with, just got to hope we get it, if we do were goin to have a busy xmas as we will be moving in on the 5th Jan. Why does it all have to happen at once!!
x ]]>
I dont want it going to the wrong place :dohh: ]]>
I was just signed into Bebo (social networking site) looking around just the usual.
I went to one of my friends pages, I have been friends with her most of my life and one of her comments was from a girl who she went to school with.
They are both 3 years older than me so were in the same class but we all went to the same youth club.
When I was 10, the youth club organised a weekend away and we were to stay in a youth hostel, it was lik an adventure weekend.
So anyway, a long story short, the girl left a message on my friends Bebo saying "Do You remember the weekend away with youth club? That was so funny, we were so cruel"
This got me thinking to what that girl actually did to me that weekend.
I think she just suddenly decided to pick on me that weekend as she had never done it to me before now.
Amongst other things she poured water in my bed and told everyone i had wet it, she stole someone elses money and told them she had seen me do it, she stole all my clothes and threw them in the bin all the while threatening me if i told any of the staff....
I was 10 years old and to honest had blocked most of it out but seeing that she is still laughing about it at the age of 33 makes me soooooo angry and to be honest i did have a cry about it last night.....
Am i just being over dramatic?! :blush: ]]>
Did you get offered worse houses before this one?
How big is your house?
Thanks x :) ]]>
So they did immediate open heart surgery on friday night to repair the tear. It was caused from years of high blood pressure. (he`s in his 70`s)
Jay got a call from his sister today that his dads not doing very well. He was going to be moved from ICU to regular care but he's in alot of pain and is not handling it very well. Jays sister is worried his heart and body can't handle it.
:cry: It was so sudden. I've met his dad a few times and he loves me like his own daughter. He is such an awesome, sweet man and although Jay says he's never been super close with his dad, I can see the worry and pain in his face... I know he wants to cry but he's doing the manly thing and fighting it.
Please everyone just pray for him. I'd just like for him to make it long enough to see us get married and bear him a grandson to carry his name. :hissy: ]]>
Well we argued last night for abit and then sorted it out it was just a petty little arguement. And he was on the xbox 360 and i was watching telle. It were geting preety late so i fell asleep on the sofa. Then woke up about 6am this morning i cant remember what happend but i went on my pc and looked on my history.
It had porn sites on there which im not that bovered about.... but then he had gone on google and typed in stafford girls (stafford is where i live)....and stuff like stafford girls porn.... && dating agencys e.t.c
So i comfronted him and which actually brought me to tears and i said how come you have been on these sites he said he was looking at porn and dating agencys in stafford came up B*******. And then i goes so how come you signed up for one of the dating agencys then and he said you have to to see the porn. Which again is a lie because i went on the dating agency site and its full of girls there age and where they are from e.t.c
He put on his profile hes single, got one baby and living with him, and it asks how many kids you want and he put 2.
Its not the porn that bothers me its him going on google and trying to find girls from (our area). saying his single on that dating agency and actually signing up to it.
What would you do if you were in my situation??
xx ]]>
me and my OH have been together for over 2 years now and sure were young, but we both know were the right one for eachother. at the moment we dont really have a high income and i'm still in college. i'm planning to go to university in the future, i just want to be married before then. and so does he. i want to get married around 2010-2012 on the 27th of august as thats the day we got together. OH is currently trying to get in the police force, but he needs some more life experience first so is doing other low paid jobs before he can do this. I have alot of it planned out, i want to get married in the church i was christend in and the same place is were my grandad is burried and all though he obviously cant be there, it would be nice if he was in spirit if that makes sense, as the day before he died i told him i wanted him and my nan to be there when i get married and have children etc. (we had a very in depth chat the day before :( ) i wanna start setting a budget aswell so i know how much to save up for and how long and when we can get married, so can any of you ladies and men on here give me any information. i did join a wedding forum, but it's not as active as this one and i probably wont get a reply for months haha. ]]>
I feel like a useless b***h because I'm not working, and I have decided to go back to college in january. I left when we met and fell for each other which was stupid but it was a couple of years ago now. He's annoyed at that, but the only job I can get is an xmas temp job at Phones4u and I want to do something with my life instead of working in a shop when I hate it. All I want is for us to be happy. The money situation is really bad, we haven't even thought of xmas presents, the money I earn from the temp job is going to go on my overdraft and credit card as well as rent etc. I cant borrow money from anyone, we dont have any savings and things right now are completely hopeless and I just want to cry all the time :(
Any advice? I don't know what to do :cry: Things are really scaring me, I missed my last payment on my credit card and I'm really scared about whats going to happen to me :(
help :cry:
xxxx ]]>
I left college in May after 2 years and immediatly began a job in an Estate Agents. They took 4 other ppl on as well as me.
After 2 weeks they had got rid of 3 of their new employees. Only sighting the reason as - they werent right for the position, when we had all been through 2 interviews and a training thingy to get offered the job.
So Sept came, unknown to me i was pregnant, and struggling. All a sudden i was sick and tired constantly. Then i had a meeting with the manager who suggested that i go on to part time hours as i had been feeling down. I had been there for four months and the sickness started on the mon and it was only the weds!
I said no blah blah blah.
Then she asked if i would go on part time hours, i said no then she said she would terminate my contract with immediate effect.
So i got up and left.
Since then i've been unemployed, and i dont get it! I've got decent grades, good work ethic. I just seem unemployable, its really getting me down. I feel like im not gonna be able to provide for my baby cos im on jobseekers allowance.
Then theres the whole, do i tell potential employers im pregnant? Either at the interview or once i start.
Im so confused and down right now, i can't take anymore day time tv!!!
Thanks if you've read this far lol
xx ]]>
I don't know what to do -I pretty much haven't spoken to him about anything else but our bubs, Neve, for 3 days and he's not even bothered to try get things back on track. I get that he's probably frustrated with the lack of action (well none existance of) what with having a newborn but he should apologise for lying - right?
What would you do? Am I upset over nothing? ]]>
But now that they are older and living with us every other week I just find myself irritated by them.. I know thats so mean. But I just can't seem to love them as if they were my own children. I find myself constantly annoyed at their lack of respect for their personal belongings and cleaning up after themselves. They are 7 and 11 so they are old enough to clean up after themselves. But I constantly have to tell them to.
Yesterday I cleaned out their room and had put some laundry on the bed for them to put away. At bedtime Kira just threw it on the floor and so I asked destiny (11) to put it away so she puts her things away and leaves Kira's clothes scattered on the floor after I had cleaned :dohh:
And after school they tend to leave their boots and bags and jackets laying around in the way and I tell them everyday to put it all away. So now when they just leave it on the floor i've resorted to throwing their stuff outside so they will get the hint!!
Am I mean? I feel like the mean step-mom everytime I tell them to clean up. I told Jay he has to help because i'm always the only one who's telling them to clean up after themselves. I am not a maid and I always feel resentment when i'm stuck cleaning up after 3 people who won't (Jay and the girls). It just makes me sooo bitchy and I always dread when the girls are here. I just want to actually enojoy their company and not feel so bitchy and stressed out.... and I can't just irgnore it because I won't sit in a filthy house :hissy: It's really not that unfair to ask the girls to do these things is it?
Sorry for the rant... i'm just realising how much it actually bothers me and I don't know what I can do.. ]]>
Other half is on JSA and was wondering if we qualified for the sure start maternity grant but upon doing some research it seems there are two types of JSA.
One income based if you haven't ever payed NI or tax and one contribution based which is if you have payed NI and tax.
OH has only just gone onto JSA after losing his job so am I right in thinking that we will definitely not be entitled to it?
Has anybody else claimed it being on the JSA? If so had they been employed before?
Thanks ]]>
i dont have a loan, i have 3 credit cards, 1 has never been used and 1 is fully paid, the 3rd will be paid off before my apr is charged...
even though i dont use these accounts could it potentially affect my credit?
including my CC and OD i prob have about £700 "debt"
how do you cancel a credit card or account? ]]>
Anyway I made the fatal mistake of asking him what he thinks. With the first outfit which I really liked, he told me the trousers were too long. Then he started telling me he doesn't even know so why am I asking him & wouldn't give me an oppinion after that.
Well he clearly has an oppinion since he said the trousers were too long and he does sometimes say I look very sexy in some clothes plus he's quick to notice if someone looks bad.
So ladies, how many of you have similar problems. ]]>
Our main debt which was our credit card has been cleared today! :happydance:I'm so happy because i always stress MASSIVELY when i owe money.
We still have other debt owed to various places but it is manageable and with all the overtime OH is working it will be sorted in no time. Feeling rather positive. I think it's time to shred the cards :happydance: ]]>
Need a bit of info on this x ]]>
my oh is not a professional photographer by trade by my god hes good!! He has done so many of my little ones and we have albums and photos everywhere, a friend saw some of them and has asked him to do a family portrait and some diff pictures that they can give to grandparents etc as xmas pressies...
so hes up for it and has loads of ideas that sound fab stumbling block is cost, he hasnt a clue, my friend went to get a professional photo shoot done at a studio and asked the prices for a photo to be put onto a camera,,,,£360!!! It was £75 to just have the photos done and it worked about £400 for four photos so she said thanks but no thanks.. the canvas was only a standard size aswell i think about 12 x 12 so hes done his research and hes said hel do her a 36 x 12 for £110 thats for the image for the image to be put on canvass and postage costs what do you ladies think price wise? would you spend that, i know at the moment i dont have tht kind of money to spend but when i had maddy i def would have.... the photographers that come to the local toddler groups round here are tempest and the photos are awful very boring and rushed, the local playgroup leader has asked if he would do them this year for them as they want something diff so hes just going to match their prices as hes sending them all away to be professionaly printed etc....
im going to get them all put onto my photobucket later and ask your opinion on them. Many of you know i have issues with oh's confidence so it would be ace if you could all post a message on here to let him know what you think dont worry about saying anything bad though, literally if you could send me your honest opinions it would mean loads to me and him no doubt!!
thankyou
hayley x
ive attached two...please leave your comments!!!
this one is of tommy ideally suited to a canvass
this is canvass or photo...
and photo.. (youl have seen this before though)...
again mads on canvass...
nice set of three.....
h x ]]>
Will i still receive tax credits towards my child care?
I cant afford to pay the fees without help as they are about 800 a month not including food, nappies or wipes! :cry: I cant really give my place up as its not garaunteed i will get Chloe back in and its the only nursery here open 8-5 and is really busy because of it being on an Air Force base. She will only be going back a few days a week but again i have to pay full fees or i more than likely will not be able to get her back in full time!
I did phone to query this but i ended up more confused than before (i dont think they undersood what i was asking) lol
Thanx ]]>
We have been together for 2 and a half years, his my first love and hopefully my only, we are best friends and get on so well ( most of the time :rofl:)
What i mean is i don't trust my oh in being a parent. I don't mean that to sound harsh at all, i don't mean it in a nasty way, but mine and his parenting skills are so different. I believe in the back in the day discipline, raising your voice when telling them off and then a little smack if they don't listen. Thats how me and my brother have been brought up, and we have never ever been disrespectful to any of our elders. Even now, when my dad raises his voice i panick and it ends at that.
But my OH, basically i don't think he knows discipline. Living with his 2 year old brother, lets just say his mum is not my idea role model mum. His brother will sit there playing with lighters, caught him messing in an ash tray before, the kids ( My oh, his brother and sister) taught him how to swear ( Bitch, Shit) and find it funny and laugh at him when he does it, and i find it so out of order. I think it is downright wrong and irresponsible, and i hate him doing it, whenever im there and they do it i have to walk out because i just don't find it amusing at all whilst they are all their laughing.
I confronted him about it one time and said basically ' no way is my baby being brought up like your brother, no way are you teaching our baby to swear, letting him/her hold lighters or hit people, i don't agree with it and it won't happen) And all he did was get defensive and arsey, and say i was critising them and telling him his mum was a bad parent.
Obviously i know this baby is half his, and i would never stop him seeing his baby, if we did ever split up. But i just don't feel like i'll be able to trust him when the baby comes along, i won't like to leave the baby in his company with me there, because i know he isn't as responsible as he should be. I never want him to take the baby down to his house with me not being there, because i know the baby will end up with a lighter in it's hand and doing what the other kids do !! But of course there is going to be days where maybe im going out for the day so OH will have the baby, and of course he'll want to take him/her to his house, but i just never want this to happen.
I know its early days and he may change, but i just know i'll never be comfortable if im not there. Don't get me wrong, he can be great with his brother and neice at times, a great 'dad' model, but then other times when he brings out his immature side and teaches them all this, it makes me wonder and worry.
You think im over reacting? What should i do? Just forget it for now and worry about it when the time comes? I've only mentioned it to him once and that was when it caused an arguement, so im not sure quite what else 2 do ! ]]>
Oh and I are looking for somewhere to rent privately, but its not going well, everywhere wants a 12 month lease, and for a 2 bed its £600 +. Even a 1 bed is £500. So I did come calculations based on OH getting the modest pay rise he has been promised for December (been rumored to be about £10 a hour he will get, but prob nearer £8), so after his pay, my maternity leave+child benefits+tax credits will after paying rent and other outgoings and bills that will leave us with £250 to feed ourselves with and for anything else.
I am also having my license revoked so as it will bea benefit not having petrol, it will mean that I cannot afford to get it back as will need about £300 for that.
But, my main worry is that we wont have enoug to live on, and its now really depressing me. Being where we are depresses me, I dread going home every night :(, so much so that I want to move out now, I cannot be done with waiting for the council, but this is going to mean that we really have nothing to live on - it will be LESS than £200 we have left over afterwards.
I really don;t know what t do, and I am really not happy about he wait for a council house, especially as it will be unfinished and undecorated, so we will have that to do and pay for as well :(.
Oh has said that I should just say he has left me, and they will give me a house quicker and pay for it, and to be honest, I am now really considering it as we work hard, yet we are going to struggle to survive and for the past years my taxes have gone on folk who ant be arsed working - maybe I feel I deserve some help/payback! ]]>
Just wondered how everyone else goes about meeting people.
It's quite sad at 24 i have no friends don't you think? ]]>
Getting a back payment today (£146) then my money should start properly next week (*FINGERS CROSSED*)
xxxx ]]>
Kyle has already said all being well, eventually he would love to be able to adopt him and give him his surname (he has his real dads at the min and he is on the birth certificate) But we know even though his dad hasnt alot to do with him he would never agreee to this in fear of looking bad to his parents...I know Kyle could apply for Parental responsibility all the same, but is there anyway Oliver could take his surname if we where to marry? Or will this need consent from his dad also? We're planning to ttc in sept and want them both to have the same surname. I dont want Oli feeling left out etc. Oliver needs stability and thats what hes gettin from us, not frm his dad. I feel it would be best all round for Oli to be adopted by Kyle eventually. x ]]>
We started trying for a baby once we were both in what we thought were in secure jobs. I go on maternity leave in 6 weeks and the pay is poor in comparison to most.
I am terrified and in a right mess! We can't afford to run the house without him working.
What can we do?? :cry: ]]>
I know it won't be precise unless I phone up but can anybody help?!
I am currently on Mat Leave from work and am getting government paid Maternity Allowance.
My partner has just moved in with me (although I live at home with my parents and he is not yet offiicially living here) but lost his job so is unfortunately on JSA at the moment but hopefully not for much longer.
How will they work payments out? Will they do it from what I would normally earn if I was at my job? I still haven't decided whether I will be returning to work yet, is it best to keep my options open or for this reason leave my job?
Is there any way of telling roughly what I may receive?
I have tried the online calculator for tax credits but can't seem to get my head around it!
Thanks ]]>
It's on 5 acres and has a newer home.
However, what would happen if we wanted the house? Do we have to be approved for a mortgage? Or can he just sign the title over to us, and put the loan in our name and we continue to pay the loan of the mortgage? ]]>
A few minutes late i went down stairs and went to read the paper and my mum tryed to talk to my dad but he just ignored her so she asked what is problem was. And he said heather. And she asked why he had a problem. And he said "because she has just told you i was having cyber sex" My mum asked well is it true. and he said yes obviously but heather had no right to tell you. So i went on a huge rant and said i was sick of him treating mym mum like she was stupid, basically betraying her and treating her like shit just cos he got caught. :hissy::hissy:. My dad was like yeah i basically commited adultery but whats that got to do with you :hissy::hissy:. I know its not my marraige but i don't like seeing mum being treated in this way. Now them two are talking it through downstairs. And according to my dad if them too split its my fault. No its his for flippin doing it in the first place :hissy::hissy:.
Sorry for the rant girls, i needed to get that out.
xx ]]>
It might sound silly but I'm worried that Pierre will forget me in that week. :cry: I keep worrying what if I come back and he doesn't remember that I'm his mummy and he thinks OH's parents are his parents. He will only be 8 months old.
Also I guess it's only natural but I also keep worrying what if something happens to him and I'm not there. I'd feel so terrible.
I know other people leave their children while they go away and the first time must be the worst. I don't know how I'm going to do it although I know it will do us good to have some time where it's just the two of us and Pierre to spend quality time with his Grandparents and cousins who he rarely gets to see since we live in different countries.
Arrrrrggggggg ]]>
He is either working....going on a night out (comes in at about 5am)...which means he is sleeping most of the next day...on the internet or on the phone...:cry:
Im so sick of being alone...the worse thing is, is that my friends no longer get intouch either...
I miss spending quality time with my OH and i hate not talking to my friends as much as i used to...never knew having a baby meant you become friendless aswell :(
Sorry i just needed to get that off my chest...:( xxx ]]>
x ]]>
I asked her when she got the maternity form at 21 weeks to get me the info about maternity leave and pay ASAP. Also asked her for my exact amount of holidays i had left this year. Then I ended up on sick leave due to stress and my bad back.... it's taken her to yesterday to get me half the info.....
and it's wrong anyway - they have calculated my return to work date based on a full year off - from the week I am due, not the week I told them I was going on maternity leave.
Never mind the harassment complaint I put in in the 1st week in Sept. still hasn't been sorted and will be going to a tribunal if it isn't investigated and sorted by next week.
Any suggestions on how to tell my boss to bog off when she calls me again - without the info I need? ]]>
My OH seems to be in a mood with me and acting more dumb than ever since I told him. Which is just great.
My mum said she was proud of me though! :blush:
I'm a bit confused as to what the plan will be though...as the job runs from April to December, and apparently the checks take a few weeks....so I'll either be in work for a week or something..or...I dunno! Which is kinda frustrating...But...I HAVE A JOB!! I CAN GET OFF OF JSA! FINALLY!!!!! YAY! Another but...I may lose out on the help with setting up my home business, or have to pay for it....but I HAVE A JOB! YAY! :happydance::rofl:
xxxxx ]]>
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I got my wallet stolen at work on Friday evening, from a staff-only area! I had about $80 cash in it, a cheque from my GRANDMOTHER for my birthday, my health card (need it for when/if I need to go to the hospital, etc.), my social insurance card (urghh), my birth certificate, my bank card..
Honestly I am just annoyed and upset right now. Firstly, I have no idea who would have taken it from me, I've worked at my job for a few years and I know everyone, minus a couple new people, they also all know I'm pregnant and 19 working part fing time..
I would have been pissed but gotten over it if just my cash got stolen but now I had to order a new health card, call Equifax/Transunion to get my credit file flagged as vulnerable, I have to PAY for a new birth certificate and when I get it I can get a new SIN card, but until then I just have to report it to the police (the police station was packed and I had to go to school so I had to leave and need to go back asap) because people can steal my identity now..
HONESTLY WHAT GIVES... what's wrong with people today?? And my sister brought in the mail and my bank statement was opened.. real nice.. now I'm even more paranoid. ]]>
:cloud9:
So will see how things goes :happydance: ]]>
Could someone just explain it to me please?
x ]]>
we dont have much money so he could never afford to take me away and i get so jealous when women say "oh my husband is so sweet his just booked a weekend away" but my husband doesnt even say i love you or cuddle me, we only have sex to try for a baby and havent done it in 1months and 5 days!not that i am counting or anything!
he thinks thats normal!
if i try to talk about it or suggest doing something romantic to make us in the mood he laughs and say "its all about sex with you isnt it lou" like its a joke!
i dont know what else to do! ]]>
we found a house which serves all our purposes and which I really, really like a lot!!!
BUT, OH is concerned about the way the garden is set up, as it is on three different levels with steps to connect them. as well in front of the house are about 10 steps to reach to the house. OH thinks this is dangerous for LO.
I am more concerned about the pram...
OH says, I can choose, but with his concerns I am now unsure...
beside of the steps in front of the house, the house is PERFECT :hissy: ]]>
I used to work part time in the restaurant downstairs but he sacked me because he said we couldn't work together.
What had been happening was that I felt he was having a go at me a lot more than everyone else. Often about things which weren't even my fault and he'd do it right infront of everyone and I felt particuarly infront of another waitress which I don't think is appropriate, especially as at the time we were engaged. It was like he was trying to make me look stupid. He'd have a go at me for wearing just one pair of earrings when the other waitress was chaving it up in all her bling and he'd say nothing. He also had a go at me for refusing some customers when I was alone because I couldn't cope with so many tables at once. Then another day the other waitress did just that and I told her she shouldn't and she said she always does it, because he (OH) doesn't mind. It was always one rule for her and another for me.
When I was going to leave he did admit that he was having a go at me more but said it was because he was stressed by me being pregnant again.
I've kept out of the restaurant and we've been trying to work things out as there were other issues too. Recently I've felt things were starting to improve.
Then today the usual waitress was off doing some training and someone new was in the restaurant. They were picking up more customers than expected and OH asked me so show the new waitress how to use the till. I was doing that and sticking around as much as I could around Pierre to help out.
Eventually Pierre was tired so I put him in his bouncy chair with the monitor on and went downstairs to give a hand since they seemed to be struggling.
I'd been down there not even 5 mins when he very bluntly told me it doesn't make sence to me to be down there. I was shocked as the only noise Pierre had made was his usual "talking" and the way he said it. The new waitress asked me to remind her to put a check on the till later and I said I would and OH instantly jumped in with "no I'll do it"! I felt a bit annoyed but this turned in to fury when I noticed the normal waitress standing by the door way because she'd come in for her lunch!!!!
I don't know if it's my imagination but it really seems he has to find a way to put me down infront of her and I don't understand why but it's really upsetting me.
I tried not to just to conclusions the other day when we were having a debate and what I said OH would usually agree with but instead he intantly took her side and was dead against everything I'd say.
The other thing is that she is always saying I don't look very happy even if I'm perfectly fine.
Sorry if I sound really random but I had to tell someone. ]]>
March 06 found out i was pregnant, i was 16 OH was 18. Mum wanted me to get an abortion i didnt want one, so i moved in with OH. He has his own council place. We spent most of the pregnancy argueing and fighting and i moved constantly between his and my mums. We would argue, he would kick me out, or it would get so bad i would want to leave pack up all my stuff and move to mums. Then after a few weeks we would sort it out and id move back. This happened all through my pregnancy and all through the 1st year of my daughters life. Then we finally sorted things and i fell pregnant, sadly miscarried. Then fell pregnant again and for 6months things were really good. We had a big row i ended back up at my mums and he met someone else. I started the process to get my own council place so me and my girls had somewhere secure to live. We 2split up for 2months.
In August after many long talks we decided to give it one final go and grow up and stop all the fighting. The girls adore their dad and my eldest loves spending all her time with him and living together as a family. Things were brilliant, no arguements, both sticking to what we had decided would work. Great no problems. I lost my 2 best and only proper friends as they werent happy with me getting back with my OH and were really nasty to me :cry: I didnt care though as i have my OH, my family and my 2 beautiful girls. I did stop taking Ella to playgroup though as the 2girls go there and they would make me feel very uncomfortable and just bitch about me. Well our 2nd daughter was born and everything was amasing. It all seemed to click into place.
Today after a really stupid arguement he has told me to leave. Now the dilemma i have is first of all i dnt want to leave, but he has made it very clear i have no choice. 2nd because of the past i am still registered at living at my mums at the council are waiting for my daughters birth certificate so they can move me to my own place. I hate myself for dragging ella backwards and forwards for 2years, she must feel so insecure and confused. Once she gets settled at OHs we end up at my mums and then she gets settled there and we end up back at OHs. I have been an awful mum
I cant ring the council and say he has kicked me out so they can accomodate me as homeless, because im registered as living at my mums. But i dnt want to drag the girls back to my mums and wait for my temporary accomodation, which will take 4 weeks from the date they get my daughters birth certificate. :hissy:
I just dont know what to do anymore. I have no friends to turn to and i dont want to talk to my mum about it because she will say "I told you so".
Ive just started taking Ella to a new playgroup which she absolutely loves, now if i move to mums she wont be able to go as its the other side of town and i dont drive. She cant go to the one by my mums because my 2 ex friends go there so now she is going to miss out :cry:
I just feel like i have failed as a mum and i have let my 2 beautiful girls down. I should protect them, keep them safe, instead i just drag them backwards and forwards, dont give them any security Now i dont know what to do? I am going to have to confuse Ella even more and go back to my mums!
:cry::cry::cry:
Sorry for this! ]]>
I know that this is supposed to be for parents and people TTC. We are WTT and we have been talking about things more seriously over the past few weeks.
We want to get married, we found my engagement ring last week and I know he's the guy I'm going to be with forever. He's working in an opticians as an optical adviser but it isnt challenging him and he wants to have a challenging career and earn enough so that I can be a stay at home mum. He has recently decided that he wants to be a doctor. Problem is, because he didn't do his A Levels, he has to do an access course and move to a big city, probably London to do this. What's worrying me is that the access course is a year long, then the degree itself is 5 years long and I don't want to have to wait another 10 years (roughly) until we can get married and start a family. I have always said that I wanted to have children at 23-26 roughly and I honestly don't think I could wait until I was 30 but I can't imagine being able to afford to bring up a baby when I need to work full time and he will be at uni all week. I know it will be worth it in the long run but 10 years is a long time to wait, especially when I feel ready now and the only thing holding us back is money.
grrrh i need some help. How do I talk to him about this? I want him to have a career he really cares about and can't bear seeing him so miserable and bored.
thanks guys, i know this isnt usually what you help with but you're the only people I can really ask.
xxxxx:hug: ]]>
Guess thats TTC zooooom out the window :( ]]>
It's split into 3 parts - first section (I didn't really understand, someone else might know...seemed like a training thing? Working with loads of other people and gaining experience?? Sounded pretty dull anyway) - The second section is a work thing...so you go out and volunteer, do some work with someone else etc etc OR you talk to company called 'InBiz' who help you set up a business and WORK AT HOME!! OMFG!!!
Well, I jumped at the suggestion, as I've been trying to set up my business, but not been too sure what to do...they offer some money to set up the business and I get extra cash for supplies and I don't have to go to sign on anymore! Woot! This is ONLY if my business idea goes down well and since this extra burst of inspiration I've thought up some really good ideas for what to make and sell! ^_^ I'm just sooooo excited, but I need to build up a business type plan by the end of the month! I'm welllllllll excited though!
But bad timing, because it's within the next couple of weeks I find out about the job I really want! But now if I get that I might not get the help with setting up my business. It would be fab (because the post is only for 26 weeks a year) if I could do the DWP work for the last part of the year and run my business full time for the first part (and obviously in my spare time whilst working for DWP!)... I REALLY need the DWP job to be mine, but not to start until next year LOL! How likely is that to happen...? :dohh:
Fingers crossed it all slots in together and works out!!!! Eek! The DWP job is only April to December though, so if I hear mid november, I'm only going to be working December....it'll give me some extra money for xmas tho! I just don't want to miss out on the Inbiz opportunity!!!
Wargh!! 2 busses? Along at once? Pah.
xx ]]>
Im so upset about all this debt as ive just had a letter reminding us we missed a payment to the council tax last month which means if we pay that we cant pay all our rent :hissy: :cry:
sorry for going on i just dont know what to do any more its making our relationship hard aswell as we keep arguing about it xx:cry: ]]>
Money - should start getting it within the next 2 weeks with a bit of luck but getting no income until then.
Childcare - sorted, just got to send last form of and all will be back dated!
Housing - Mum is moving out and renting our house to me! :happydance:, wonder what she is after :rofl:
UPDATE - Now the other landlord has been back in touch and has said she is going to get the keys for the house this week and then should get the ball rolling! ...what do i doo!! :rofl:
Adam (J's dad) - I got in touch with them to give them ONE LAST CHANCE and after a heated text chat, they are picking him up on Saturday 12pm - 8pm (late i know, but it is a start i guess)
Ian - we have decided to hold of the whole TTC thing any time soon and are (properly) going to start next September and he is going to move in with me (gradually, staying few nights a week) :D He has also started a dad-to-be group which starts on Thursday! :cloud9: how cute is he?? :D xx
Christmas - i am still a grinch but going to try and give J a good first Christmas,with a bit of luck i will be able to spoil him
Thanks girls for giving me the want/need to start taking control of my own life!! :hugs: xxx ]]>
they had a living drink for my brother 2 saturdays ago and she just continued to drink for the rest of the week. she has just gotten a new job after 20 yrs and has only been there for 3 weeks and 1 of those weeks she has been off because she is drunk! when my mum drinks she will drink all day long and not eat a thing. and the worst bit about it is that she has been drinking vodka! NEAT! my nan found 7 bottles in her bin. my little brother lives with her and i feel so sorry for him as he is there alone (but a family friend is looking after him at my mums) because when we were kids atleast we had each other. i ask her why is she doing it? why is her life so bad? she has 4 children all good and doing well she has 4 beautiful granchildren just got a new job so she will have more money and wont have to worry about xmas and then she goes and does this its like she likes her life being shit! she has heard from her boss today and she has been given the sake! stupid women.. ]]>