Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 89
BabyandBump - Single Parents http://www.babyandbump.com/ Support for parents that are going it alone. Single parenting can bring many ups and downs, trying and emotional times. Talk with others who are bringing up children on their own. en Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:44:10 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.babyandbump.com/images/bnb2/misc/rss.jpg BabyandBump - Single Parents http://www.babyandbump.com/ Conundrum... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877378-conundrum.html Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:49:25 GMT ... even though the birth feels a long way off in reality I guess it is not.

As you ladies know I haven't heard from FOB since 26/12/2011 after I phoned him and he was disinterested. He hasn't contacted me since... he has never offered to pay towards anything to do with the baby, nor asked for rights to see the baby even though he initially said "I want to be a big part of the pregnancy and in baby's life" it would seem he got bored... if was actually interested at all to begin with... as it appears it was either I got back with him and everything would be ok or I would have to raise the child alone. And also as you know he has spent money left, right and centre on him and his mates, hasn't bothered to get a proper job nor accommodation. Whereas I have bought everything, got 3 jobs, cleared my overdraft, made myself financially secure and, without sounding big headed, feel really proud of myself for what I can provide for my daughter.

Also, with regards to his mother, she turned out to be one sneeky moo! First off saying whatever I told her was in confidence and then telling her son and then telling me to grow up and sending me a snide NY card reminding me the baby was also FOB's.

So.... in short... I don't know whether to tell him about when I go into labour. My reason for not wanting to is because I know he would make such a melodrama out of coming up, expecting to be in the room with me and then about a week later have a sulk because life isn't going his way and walk away. Then probably hear from him every so often to try and emotionally bully me. I really don't want that for LO at all and selfishly I dont want it either.

I don't know whether to tell him when LO is here or wait to see if he gets in contact with me. I just feel I have given him chance after chance on a plate for it to be thrown back in my face, for me to get emotionally abusive letters/messages and then silence when he decides to go in a sulk. Since we last spoke I feel so much happier and in such a better place and from his facebook he has been going out and living it up large.

I'm not looking for shitty replies or to cause controversy but I actually would appreciate constructive feedback as I know these sorts of threads can go way off base.

Thank you ladies :hugs: ]]> Single Parents dustbunny http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877378-conundrum.html Grandparents rights? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877299-grandparents-rights.html Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:03:43 GMT I've heard that unless grandparents are involved with the child, they don't have access rights. As in, if you let them see their grandchildren then suddenly stop them they can take legal action. But if they haven't been involved at all from birth, they don't have any rights. Can anyone confirm this? ]]> Single Parents xAmiixLouisex http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877299-grandparents-rights.html Paying maintence whilst on jsa? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877236-paying-maintence-whilst-jsa.html Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:21:43 GMT FOB hasnt paid maintence since about june last year, he lost his job in the july/august and has been on jsa since then but hasnt paid a penny. Do... FOB hasnt paid maintence since about june last year, he lost his job in the july/august and has been on jsa since then but hasnt paid a penny.

Do they have to pay whilst claiming benefits? And if so, will he be made to backpay from last june the money he hasnt paid ( even though hes been on jsa? )

x ]]> Single Parents Laura--x http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/877236-paying-maintence-whilst-jsa.html Not sure how he feels now? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876604-not-sure-he-feels-now.html Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:28:52 GMT My ex left me in October saying he didn't want to be a father and he wasn't coping well with loads of stuff in his life and said he would be a crap dad etc. He has shown no interest in baby and on and off for a while I went ballistic on him (threatened with CSA etc) and then went quiet. Whenever I have texted or called to say he is horrible, why is he doing this? etc he just ignored me.nice.

Latest thing was a few weeks ago, I went a bit cold on him and just said that we should make arrangements for child support, if not, CSA would get in touch. He responded with 'i have no money, I can't cope with life, I am selling stuff to make ends meet..you can see my pay slip, I am planning to move abroad as I may lose my home and to escape everything etc'

I backed off and said well that's that then, if he can't afford anything, he can't afford anything and I am also sick of the arguing (on my part) and I wished him well and good luck moving abroad. He responded quickly with 'I miss you so much, I think of you everyday. Things are just bad for me right now :-(

Since then I have texted every now and again random stuff and he responds straight away. I also got a bit hormonal and said that he should just tell me he has no feelings for me anymore and I won't contact him again, his response was 'being silly again and hormonal are we?' Not sure if that was just avoidance of the question or whether he was saying I was silly for thinking he didn't have feelings?? (Bit difficult to see the true meaning in anything after a break up like this) There is no talk from him of reconciling nor does he initiate contact first. I just think.... is he missing me really? or because I started being nice to him and backed off about CSA he is now being all nicey nicey and just keeping the peace?

Would appreciate input on this as I can't make head nor tail of it and would like to see some glimmer of hope there but actions speak louder than words I guess :shrug: ]]> Single Parents Dezireey http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876604-not-sure-he-feels-now.html Should i feel Bad http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876378-should-feel-bad.html Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:43:22 GMT Just found out my sons dad got his gf of 1 1/2 months pregnant. To be honest my first thought was happy because i think hell leave me and my son... Just found out my sons dad got his gf of 1 1/2 months pregnant. To be honest my first thought was happy because i think hell leave me and my son alone and be with her. However i instantly felt bad an now i have mixed feelings.

He is not a good dad to begin with. He puts in a completly half ass effort. blows off his time and child support as is. He was incredibly abusive to me when we were together and after. This will only make it worse. hes gunna ditch him more and there is no way hes gunna pay his child support.

i also want nothing to do with this girl after she bitched at me on facebook. and now shes gunna be around forever. I dont want her to meet my son i dont think shes a good person. but i just found out that she apparently said she didnt want kids and was on birth control, but as soon as she found out she posted like 6 things all over facebook about it. in my experience people who dont want kids dont exactly instantly jump for joy and share the news with the world when they accidentally get pregnant. so now i actually feel a little bad for my sons dad because he got dupped into a baby with this girl. He cant afford the one he has let alone another one.

Do i ever have to let them meet? i really want nothing to do with this girl or her baby. I know its wrong to feel good about someones misfortune. But i have thought for a long time that my son would be better off without his dad, and i might get what i want now. I already told him that i dont want him around and even said if he signed over his rights (visitation) he wouldnt have ot pay child support.

he really doesnt even care about my son to begin with. he uses him like a trophy to show of to his friends and girls. so am i also wrong for wanting him gone. im so confused. :cry: ]]> Single Parents Dream.dream http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876378-should-feel-bad.html Feel horrible :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876210-feel-horrible.html Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:05:13 GMT Well because of me acting irresponsibly last year, I got pregnant by an idiot. When I told him I was pregnant at the beginning of November he tried... Well because of me acting irresponsibly last year, I got pregnant by an idiot. When I told him I was pregnant at the beginning of November he tried to force me to have an abortion and said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I haven't spoken to him since. I made the decision to tell his parents because I felt they had a right to know and felt I owed it to my baby to tell them so they could make the choice themselves whether they wanted to be a part of the baby's life or not.

Well today I went to his house and it was just his dad there. I felt awful because his dad didn't get angry at all and seemed really nice. He was really shocked (because shock horror FOB didn't tell his family about the baby) and actually looked like he was gonna cry - it made me want to give him a hug and say sorry, because he's one of those people that make you feel sad when they look sad if that makes sense. He said they would help me in any way they could (though at the time I wasn't sure whether that was said because he wasn't sure what else to say) and I gave him my phone numbers.

I wasn't expecting to hear from them again, especially not today, but I got a call from FOB's mum earlier and she seemed really nice and said that she really wants to be a part of the baby's life. She told me that FOB didn't want to speak to me or my family.. in other words not wanting to see the baby still when she's born. (What a shock lol just FOB being at mature as ever at nearly 23 years of age). His mum said that she thought he was just scared and that he wasn't saying much. Anyways she wants to meet me and my parents and should be doing this weekend.

It just got me thinking... how can two nice people produce such a horrible son like that?! Who's had a happy childhood and no reason to be such an idiot.

Just my little rant lol.. feel so guilty at the sudden changes his family are going through because of mine and FOB's irresponsibility. Felt like I was telling my own parents again especially as she wanted to know why I hadn't told them sooner.:cry: ]]> Single Parents MumToBe2012 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/876210-feel-horrible.html Financial help in Canada http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875795-financial-help-canada.html Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:44:59 GMT I am still not certain if I am going to have my baby, but if I do the first year I want to be home with it to care for it. I know my family will help... I am still not certain if I am going to have my baby, but if I do the first year I want to be home with it to care for it. I know my family will help me out sometimes but i'll have to take care it most of the time.

I don't know how the father or his family will react but for the time of taking care of my baby does anyone know anything about child support or financial help when being a single parent? as once my baby is born I may only be able to work one or two days a week. ]]> Single Parents Blue_star http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875795-financial-help-canada.html view on getting into a new relationship http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875643-view-getting-into-new-relationship.html Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:44:17 GMT just wanted everyones opinions on this, as i'm sure everyone has atleast thought about what would happen/what it would be like in a new relationship

my LO is 3 in june & i have had 2 relationships since LO was born up until now. my 1st was someone i had known for 3-4 years prior givinb birth & i was with him for 6-7 months when LO was 3 months old. my 2nd was when LO was around 17/18 months & i was then with an old schoolmate who i had known over 10 years. we were together around 5/6 months. both people met LO but never saw him regularly (both must of seen LO around 5 times throughout whole relationship)

1st boyfriend cheated on me with 4 different girls & the 2nd one got really possessive & clingy & came to my house drunk when i had LO so i nipped that in the bud quickly.

both times, LO's dad has moaned at me for having a boyfriend around LO, yet he has had 4 girlfriends since LO was born, sees LO once a week & is free to have his own life. now i would never ever introduce a fling to LO, but FOB cant expect me to never move on can he? eventually i am going to settle down & they will be around LO yet he cant accept it. i will never let LO call anyone else 'daddy' & FOB knows this, so i'm unsure why he is being like this. i have no problem with him having a steady girlfriend around :P (when he actually gets a real one & stops making girlfriends up but thats a whole new thread :haha:) as i know he will move on, same as me.

sorry to ramble on & on but i just wondered what peoples opinions are on it all? how many relationships have you been in? how long would you wait till you introduced them to LO? xx ]]> Single Parents Mammy2Joojx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875643-view-getting-into-new-relationship.html Single Moms of 2+.. Hows dating? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875427-single-moms-2-hows-dating.html Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:29:29 GMT I just recently became a single mother and I have two daughters, 3 yrs and 5 mos. Can anyone with 2 or more kids tell me how your love life is? I just recently became a single mother and I have two daughters, 3 yrs and 5 mos. Can anyone with 2 or more kids tell me how your love life is? ]]> Single Parents ilvmylbug http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875427-single-moms-2-hows-dating.html CSA help/advice?! http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875327-csa-help-advice.html Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:09:55 GMT Hiya, I was just wondering if its possible for people to go to CSA on other peoples behalf? Just say my brother contacted them on my behalf,... Hiya,

I was just wondering if its possible for people to go to CSA on other peoples behalf?

Just say my brother contacted them on my behalf, would they be able to do anything or would I need to contact them?

Thanks ]]> Single Parents Stephannie http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/875327-csa-help-advice.html Dear judgemental bad-words... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/874082-dear-judgemental-bad-words.html Mon, 06 Feb 2012 19:16:51 GMT There's lots of things I could do much worse for my daughter than not have her in wedlock.
For example: Have her in wedlock.

Please don't judge me. Also, please leave me alone if you can't say anything nice.

Thank you! ]]> Single Parents ..katie.. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/874082-dear-judgemental-bad-words.html Parenting journals...? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873720-parenting-journals.html Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:17:56 GMT Hi all :flower:

I'm single and 11 weeks pregnant with my first, and was just wondering if any of you have parenting journals you don't mind me reading? I'd be interested in having a more detailed insight of the day to day routine as a single mummy with bubs in tow. I know other single parents in RL, but I don't see or speak to them every day. I want to know all of the bad stuff, as well as the good stuff so I can try to prepare myself as best I can :thumbup: ]]> Single Parents TTC Sept 2010 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873720-parenting-journals.html brill day = me crying my eyes out http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873225-brill-day-me-crying-my-eyes-out.html Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:30:58 GMT now i know i may be over reacting but todayy has really upset me :( nothing that jooj has done at all, or anyone in fact .. But i cant stop crying :(... now i know i may be over reacting but todayy has really upset me :( nothing that jooj has done at all, or anyone in fact .. But i cant stop crying :(

Been out in the snow all day .. At first it was just me, jooj & my nephew. Built a snowman, had snowball fights then i took them on a long walk. Went back to my parents house to meet my sister & her boyfriend who had been to buy sledges.

Anyway, cutting it short, we were out sledging on the hills & jooj was really clingyy to my sisters boyfriend .. It was almost like he was jealous of my nephew having a dad there :( now jooj sees his dad once a week but it broke my heart & i dont even know why :(

He wasnt upset, didnt ask for his dad or mention him but the way he was playing with sisters boyfriend just made me realise he DOES need a male role model & it would be nice if he had one constantly :( not suggesting i get a partner as thats last thing i need :haha: but just feel abit down & need cheering up :(

Feel free to comment & say im over reacting & its not a problem haha as i know i am :( x ]]> Single Parents Mammy2Joojx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873225-brill-day-me-crying-my-eyes-out.html visitation advice? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873033-visitation-advice.html Sun, 05 Feb 2012 17:38:48 GMT hi, ive been lurking here for ages but only just got the guts to post! i have a baby thats 3 months old and not been with her dad since i was 3... hi, ive been lurking here for ages but only just got the guts to post!

i have a baby thats 3 months old and not been with her dad since i was 3 months pregnant with her.

hes horrible and has said and done horrible thigs. he comes to my house once a week for a hour and doesnt go near her, just sits texting and watching tv. but he does come round every weekend. he never asks about her or does anything for her. i get no money from him towards her things either. and no presents for her at christmas and birthdays from him and his family to her.

he doesnt care about her, but still comes round every week. i offer him hours but he only comes for a hour.

he ignores me and her alot of the time, but when he doesnt hea horrible to me and says horrible things, hes been abusive in the past.

can i stop him seeing her and coming around?he doesnt care and he just hurts me and i know he will hurt my baby when shes older.

what can i do? :( ]]> Single Parents 01112011 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/873033-visitation-advice.html stuck in a bad relationship cause im scared of how il cope with rent/bills http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872872-stuck-bad-relationship-cause-im-scared-il-cope-rent-bills.html Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:13:38 GMT hi all..thought this might be a good place to ask. I want to get out of my relationship but how will i pay my rent? ive not a penny to my name just... hi all..thought this might be a good place to ask.
I want to get out of my relationship but how will i pay my rent? ive not a penny to my name just my benifits. my questions are.. will i get help with my rent,water,gas,council tax,electric? ?also do gas/electric companys take you on if you have bad credit? if not i really wont be able to leave. thanks. ]]> Single Parents mum2b2009 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872872-stuck-bad-relationship-cause-im-scared-il-cope-rent-bills.html Finally found the right place to rant...meh. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872584-finally-found-right-place-rant-meh.html Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:58:56 GMT Hey all!
Not definitely going to be a single mum but in all honesty it's looking more and more likely. It's a really long story and sorry for the epic rant but I've been looking for someone to talk to about this for ages and have just realised they have a forum on here for single parents and stuff so here goes:

Baby's father and I have been really close as friends since we were in preschool...we grew up together, studied together, worked together etc etc and when we fell pregnant with Little Sprout we'd kind of been seeing each other a few months but it was more of an unspoken thing than a huge official relationship.

As soon as I discovered I was pregnant baby's dad was really supportive, so much more than I expected him to be to the point where I was taken aback that he hadn't ran for the hills at the off. We bot agreed that while we were going to see what happened relationship wise for the sake of baby, if it didn't work out we were both still going to be amazing parents and always support each other nomatter what.

Anyhoo, I just don't know what to do with him anymore. At first we'd both been taking it pretty lightly and just trying to get accustomed to the idea of having a baby but now it's getting more and more real and he just seems more and more distant from both me and the baby. At the beginning it all came so easily, he was theorising names, talking about pushchairs and sleeping arrangements, but as soon as he saw baby on the scan, nothing.

I pointed out to him that it stressed me out (and therefore baby) more not knowing what was happening with him than just knowing he didn't want to do this would, and he said he'd just been taken aback by it all and that it'd taken a while to sink in that it was all really happening.

But even now I can feel him distancing again. The last week or so he's not even bothered to contact me unless I contacted him first and when I went for a private scan a few days ago I texted him asking if he wanted me to find out the sex or if e wanted to wait. He didn't reply and so I made the decision alone to find out (based on him telling me at the beginning he wanted to know the sex asap) and met him later that night to be told he didn't want to know anymore.

Last night he came over so we could have a chat and try to spend some time together. All going perfect, we had a laugh, we looked at scan pictures and just generally had a nice evening. Until I mentioned that baby would be here in just under five months, when he quickly gathered his things, got out of bed and said he had to go home as he was going to be waking up early.

He did text to apologise me this afternoon and said that it just hit him that he was going to be a dad and he panicked. I texted him back saying it was ok and that I wanted him to know I'm scared too but that I wanted us to be able to lean on each other. No reply.

I just don't know what to think. Whenever I pull him up on it he says he wants to be there for me and the baby, but I just don't think he's bonding with her at all. I don't want to pressure him into anything but all this not knowing what's going to happen is getting me down, if nothing else I just want my baby to be secure and not to have a dad who's always coming and going from her life.

ARGH, MEN. :/ Sorry again for the jumbled rant all...just wanted to get the stress out on here rather than cry again and upset sprout. xx ]]> Single Parents Cingraa http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872584-finally-found-right-place-rant-meh.html A new found hatred for FOB http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872461-new-found-hatred-fob.html Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:00:15 GMT Little mini rant... nothing special per say...

One of FOB's friends text me just for chit chat, although I find talking to any mutual 'friends' a bit odd. But he inadvertently told me he went out with FOB last night and he didn't say one word at all... not one little jot... about the upcoming birth of his daughter. He is just sooooo excited he doesn't say a word?!?!?!
I just thought... what a git. He complains he can't find a job, manages to upgrade all his photography equipment and goes out with his mates but won't pay a penny towards his daughter. Hasn't bothered to contact me in well over a month now.

Fucking joke... pardon my language. I have a new wave of hatred rolling through me and had to get it off my chest. ]]> Single Parents dustbunny http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872461-new-found-hatred-fob.html Over night access? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872113-over-night-access.html Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:21:09 GMT Hi, does any one have any information on overnight access for a baby? I have heard I can stop him getting over night access to her until she is four.... Hi, does any one have any information on overnight access for a baby? I have heard I can stop him getting over night access to her until she is four. She is currently 14 months, her father never lived with us and she has never stayed over night with him before. He has her twice a week for seven hours at a time. The reason I don't want him to have her over night is because I feel she is too young to understand what is going on and it will disrupt and upset her. And my ex also threatened to kill me and has since threatened my friend and family. I would be so grateful for advice. ]]> Single Parents Abiisla11 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872113-over-night-access.html Solicitors Witholding Access Rights? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872087-solicitors-witholding-access-rights.html Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:35:18 GMT I have been advised by the police after serving an harassment order on FOB, to contact solicitors in order to stop him having access to my baby when... I have been advised by the police after serving an harassment order on FOB, to contact solicitors in order to stop him having access to my baby when he/she is born.

After splitting up with him, I have not only had him harassing, but have had death threats from his friend on HIS phone. I have also since found out that he has a history of domestic violence logged with the police by both his ex gf and the one before that.

Does anyone have any experience of attempting to block access through the courts?

Also, because I am on low wage and claiming tax credits, the police say that the CSA will automatically go after him, whether or not he is on the birth cert and whether or not he is allowed access. Is that right? ]]> Single Parents jambermush http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/872087-solicitors-witholding-access-rights.html anyone want another baby?? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871747-anyone-want-another-baby.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:17:10 GMT Im so broody right now. Well i have been for the past few months, i would LOVE to have another baby :( I know if i was still in a relationship... Im so broody right now. Well i have been for the past few months, i would LOVE to have another baby :(

I know if i was still in a relationship we'd definately be ttc if not pregnant already by now. We always said we would just as Maisie would be starting nursery.

I miss having a newborn so much :(

Its horrible to think ive got so long to wait too, obviously i dont want another child unless im in a completely stable relationship, and thats going to take years :( ]]> Single Parents Laura--x http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871747-anyone-want-another-baby.html Greatest part of being a single parent :) http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871527-greatest-part-being-single-parent.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:23:03 GMT Well being a single parent has its highs and lows and at the min I'm high high high :)

My little lady has just started using the potty the last week. And she is only 25 months... So happy to be with her when she does it as how proud! :)
Single parent part of that is amazing :)

She doesn't see her dad his choice currently but Elwood done Ellie such a star :) ]]> Single Parents emlubu http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871527-greatest-part-being-single-parent.html A Little Help Please http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871162-little-help-please.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:17:46 GMT I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section.

Right, some of you know the trouble I have with FOB, both while pregnant & after Josh arrived.

Well, FOB saw Josh in the hospital & a couple of times when we came home. We had an argument & he didn't see Josh for a couple of weeks.

About 3 weeks ago I got back in touch & he started seeing Josh again. All was going well I though.

Now it seems he thinks I'm taking his parental rights away & is demanding over night access (this is because I told him I'm busy on saturday & that he couldn't see Josh, not unreasonable imo)

I've said no, 1 cos Josh is too young to be away from me at night, & there is no way I'm staying there too. & 2 cause I don't trust FOB & family to follow Josh's routine. & 3 cause they all smoke & I don't trust them not to smoke around Josh & 4 there is no where for him to actually sleep with someone in the same room as him (which he is used to)

I don't think any of those points are unreasonable. But FOB seems to think so. Now he's talking about going to court to get his own way. I jsut wondered if anyone had any experiance of this & could give me any advice?

Thanks :flower: ]]> Single Parents BrokenfoREVer http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/871162-little-help-please.html <![CDATA[Help! Welfare & Paternity Mess!]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870836-help-welfare-paternity-mess.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:12:54 GMT Hi there, Im a single mom - with a 5 month old son.

I'm in a bit of a mess... and I don't know what to do!
I just applied for welfare and I put the fathers name on the documentation ..
I don't want the father involved now and I don't mind if we don't get any income from the dad, I just don't want him in his life for very good reasons. So I told the family maintenance worker that I was at a party before I got pregnant & had sex with someone else .. so therefore I don't know who the father is..
That was a lie, but it has just gotten to the point that its so much better for my son to not be apart of his dads life.
But now they're telling me I gotta go get a paternity test done by his dad...
If he goes in, he's gonna for sure be the dad, i never slept around.
I was thinking if his brother went in for him, they look very similar, but you gotta have 2 pieces of ID - and a color photo...

I don't know what to do! Please someone if you have ANY advice, that'd help so much! I know I kind of made this mess -- but I finally knew it was better to not have him apart of our lives.. he wasn't making barely any effort as it was. ]]> Single Parents Chriss http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870836-help-welfare-paternity-mess.html Staring work... funding for childcare? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870818-staring-work-funding-childcare.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:53:28 GMT How do you get started with the childcare funding ect ect?? Maisie starts nursery at the local school in september, but im so desperate to get into... How do you get started with the childcare funding ect ect?? Maisie starts nursery at the local school in september, but im so desperate to get into work now :( Only a part from job (less than 16 hours) but ive got no chance if i cant get childcare sorted.

I just have no idea where to start/go/look for? Any help?x ]]> Single Parents Laura--x http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870818-staring-work-funding-childcare.html <![CDATA[CSA & Access....? Advice Needed!]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870223-csa-access-advice-needed.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:27:42 GMT Hi All... My Ex made it perfectly clear he wasnt very interested in our daughter or our relationship from around me being 6 months pregnant. He... Hi All...

My Ex made it perfectly clear he wasnt very interested in our daughter or our relationship from around me being 6 months pregnant.

He has met her three times, and the last time it was for 45 minutes and then he text saying he didnt think it would be wise to see each other again as it was to 'painful'. So I said fine and left it at that.

Anyway - he is totally unreliable has been since we got together really. He is up to his eyeballs in debt and has another daughter that he doesnt want to see and who he didnt pay anything for for years so is now paying off an £8000 CSA debt.

The CSA take the maximum off him each month that they can, so it wouldnt affect him monthly if I did claim CSA, he would just be paying his arrears for longer.

Thing is Im starting to struggle finacially, and I am considering claimung maint through the CSA. Question is - if I do this will he be allowed access to my daughter?
He isnt on the birth cert and hasnt been in touch since she was 8 weeks old.

I DONT want him anywhere near her. He has never bothered with her before and I feel that if he did request access it would be more out of spite than actual want to see her.

I personally think he will be too lazy to fight anything and he cant afford a legal battle... BUT I'm just scared he will make this request and they will grant access because she is so young......

Any advice or should I just struggle on to make sure that he cant get near her?

xx ]]> Single Parents Jasa1911 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/870223-csa-access-advice-needed.html Need Help Ladies :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869880-need-help-ladies.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:29:36 GMT Okay so here it goes I have a 3 year old daughter that will be four next month...I use to live in the same city/state as her father but about two... Okay so here it goes
I have a 3 year old daughter that will be four next month...I use to live in the same city/state as her father but about two weeks ago had to leave unexpectedly in fear of our saftey...long story...her dad and I have been split up ever since DD was born and we did have a custody agreement there that was he gets DD every other weekend and we split up holidays etc... well now that I am here I eventually called and let him know that DD and I were okay and that we need to work out a schedule to get her back and forth during the summer...(something I DO NOT want to do) but I know I have too...and he seemed to understand as he knows the reason I had to leave...however, I am very scared that he is up to something and I really dont want to go back to court because then I would have to go back to the state I came from...for now DD calls him everynight at 6 however she is napping right now and because of the two hour difference she may not call...any advice?? I am currently looking for a lawyer just incase but really needed to vent as this has been on my mind so heavily. thank you ladies...sorry if this doesnt quite make sense. ]]> Single Parents ilove3baby http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869880-need-help-ladies.html I want to Give Up http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869829-want-give-up.html Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:59:15 GMT After years of finally waiting.. I get into nursing school and i discover I was expecting.. I was so Ill in the first trimester I had to withdraw.... After years of finally waiting.. I get into nursing school and i discover I was expecting.. I was so Ill in the first trimester I had to withdraw. the instrutor was so nice she placed me on the list to start this spring... I took out a ton of student loans.. mainly after my father passed to honestly help out with bills. Well school started this spring and guess what... I'm not finishing up with my class... instead i'm making minimal wage trying to provide for my daughter. FOB has never met her and on top of that I discovered I have TONS OF LOANS DUE. with no way to pay them... I don't want her to grow up how i did nor be in the same school district.. how can I provide her anytype of life whenI can't even afford to buy grocery's, gas, and we're still living with my mother. she has a freaking looser for a mother.

what was I thinking by having a baby. It's so obvious i can't care for her. :cry: I don't know how to get out of debt and get a place i feel safe raising her. A place that she can be proud of and an education that will afford her the oppurtinites I didn't have :cry: :cry:

If i knew it wouldn't hurt so bad...... I'd give her to a family that deserves a wonderful kid.. but me being selfish I won't give her to anyone who could give her the world I can't

WHAT's WRONG WITH ME! :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: ]]> Single Parents jaytee146 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869829-want-give-up.html ever get frowned upon? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869726-ever-get-frowned-upon.html Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:00:21 GMT middle of shopping today with my dad & my LO, when i was speaking to the woman serving on the till. She got asking me how old i was (im only 21, 22 next month, but dont exactly look 16/17) & i answered her to be polite. She then asked if the FOB was around :shrug: to which i got a lil annoyed by as i didnt see it as any of her business. I told her he was around, but i wasnt with him in a relationship (sees LO once a week) & she looked shocked. She then went onto say 'oh, i see. I take it thats why your LO is a little rebellious & running about being giddy, cos you do it on your own & all that' well, i very nearly headbutted her! That to me implied that i couldn't keep control of my son, when all he was doing was simply running up & down giggling to himself next to me :/ everytime i told him to stop, he would. Everytime i told him to come to me, he would. So i clearly have zero control :haha:

Also, was talking to my friend who said the other mams at her LO's school also look down on her.. No apparent reason, she just overheard 1 say to the other than 'young, single mams dont bring their kids up to the same standard as us older parents in a stable relationship'

Are they fucking kidding? I know a few parents what are married & older than me & their children act outrageously! Now, im not saying thats cos of their age or how they parent, but what the hell gives them the right so look down on young single mums?

Anyone else been in the same boat? Sorry for the essay, rant over :haha: x ]]> Single Parents Mammy2Joojx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869726-ever-get-frowned-upon.html So done!!!! http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869685-so-done.html Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:23:15 GMT i'm 38 weeks pregnant with my daughter and i have been split from her father since i was 14 weeks .

he's always been on and off about being there taking responsibility i asked him for money and swore i wasnt going to put him on child support and in the whole 9 months i've been pregnant now he's only given me 200 dollars. . . :coffee: you guys know how far that goes when it comes to babies , that wouldnt even buy my carseat / stroller .


anyways , my case is involved in CAS(Childrens Aid Society) because when iw as 15 i was in Temporary Care cus i was a little shit disturber and liked to get high and run away from home ,

now im 17 I already lived on my own for a year i just moved back for a bit til Cianna is 3 or 4 months old and then i will be moving out with my boyfriend ..

- ANNNYYYYYWAYS , i told CAS that theres a chance that he might not be the father and i have no interest in doing a DNA test to see if he is or not because i dont want him in any part of our lives and even if he were to be proven the father it would make no difference .


Am i doing the right thing by saying theres the chance he didnt father her? i mean hes unstable , he lives in a shelter now because he didnt pay his rent , he sells drugs - and smokes weed every day ... i just dont want him around her!


What do you think ?


EDIT: HE IS THE FATHER THERES NO CHANCE HE IS NOT - but Im so sick of putting myself on the line for him and going out of my way to make things easy even my boyfriend said that girls normally first go after money when theyre pregnant and i dont want that i just want my daughter to have a father ... and im not going to put my feelings on the line OR hers for a half- assed commitment! ]]> Single Parents nicoleJOLIE http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869685-so-done.html <![CDATA[Father's Rights - Question]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869268-fathers-rights-question.html Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:47:20 GMT I'm currently pregnant with my first, and have split from the Father.

Since doing so I have had death threats from his friend, had to contact the police 3 times and had an harassment order served.

I've also found out that FOB has a very violent past. His ex gf informs me he has a lengthy police record from both her and his partner before her, for domestic violence, even to the point of causing miscarriage.

Now the police have advised me to get solicitors involved NOW due to his legal rights (we were never married btw)

I just wondered whether the harassment order and/or his domestic abuse history will affect his legal rights to access?

Anyone any ideas please? ]]> Single Parents jambermush http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/869268-fathers-rights-question.html legal crap + fathers rights. ANGRY RANT! http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868562-legal-crap-fathers-rights-angry-rant.html Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:45:07 GMT OK so this isnt directed at FOB's who actually are consistant and genuinly care and love there children.

I've (narrowly) avoided court... (for now)

BUT whilst doing my research, which i did alot of! and the fact im seeing a solicitor tomrrow!

All of which have informed me, the courts will favour the father and give him the acsess he wants! (obvs not to extreme like being the main carer)
REGARDLESS of instability, and what a unreliable and selfish cock they are.

They can pick and choose when and where they would like this, and as a mother your not even given the right to protect your own child.

it makes me so angry!!!!!!!

i USED to think "dads have rights to and it should be equal"
now i have my own child i 100000000000% take that back!! the most important and stable figure in a childs life as far as im concerned is the mother.

AND if a mother feels reducing acsess or even stoppingit all together is appropriate for their child they SHOULD have the right to do so.
NOT if the reasons are out of spite obviously


but the people who are getting caught up and hurt and messed are about are the children! and they are the ones we should bE protecting!

so sick of the complete bollocks of fathers rights shite. fuck off.
All this has done is allow controlling men to use there children as weapons, and the oment as a parent you object. they wave court in your face. and they will win it.

what a load of shit. ]]> Single Parents rose.wombwell http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868562-legal-crap-fathers-rights-angry-rant.html Advise?... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868524-advise.html Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:10:03 GMT soooo its a long story...
but ive (kind of) sorted a arrangment with FOB... he'll see LO every other weekend... one weekend in farnborough (where he lives) and the other in somerset(where his mum lives) i live in Basingstoke.. is this to disrputive for a 2 year old??

i felt so scared of the thought of going to court i agreed... as i was told by community legal advice if it went to court he would win this acsess anyway!!

even tho things a kinda sorted... i sneakily have a appointment with a solicitor tomorrow...
FOB doesnt think hes done anything wrong at all, so without a doubt hes gunna do it again...

what is suitable acsess... and is every other weekend in 2 different places too much????

any opoinions would be great xxx ]]> Single Parents rose.wombwell http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868524-advise.html FOB being abusive - feel abit shaky :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868330-fob-being-abusive-feel-abit-shaky.html Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:08:47 GMT As I have already said a load of times before on here me and FOB split up after 2 months of me being pregnant because he hit me, he was violent and... As I have already said a load of times before on here me and FOB split up after 2 months of me being pregnant because he hit me, he was violent and controlling (didn't like me talking to anyone else) stole my money, put my name on everything and then scarpered.

He came to the first scan and told me to have an abortion, came to the second and didn't even buy a scan picture and ran off as soon as the scan was over, didn't hear from him for months and then his new girlfriend messaged me on facebook asking how i was and when i was due and said that he'd ring me in a few days.

He finally rang my mum this morning but just to give her abuse, he said if i didn't put him on the birth certificate it "would mean war", he'd make my life a living hell and other things :(

I have no intention of putting him on the birth certificate and I'm seeing a solictor next tuesday to talk about this. I know I have asked again and again on here and I am sorry for the repitition but I am really scared he is going to get put on the birth certificate and he will get some access, I don't want him in my life, the year with him I'd just rather forget. I want to get on with my life but he won't let me :(

I'm sure hes doing this all just to spite me too as he has never expressed an interest in the baby, I think he just wants to be able to control me again like he used to. Its like he never liked me having a blackberry and after we split up my sister got me a contract with a blackberry torch (I can't get any credit because of all his debt) and he saw me with it at the first scan. My mum said when he rang up he asked her about it, how and why I have it, it seems like to me he just wants to control me again.

I just don't know what to do, it feels like I'll have all this for the rest of my life now :'( ]]> Single Parents stephanie20 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/868330-fob-being-abusive-feel-abit-shaky.html hes introduced them 3 times!(rant) http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867936-hes-introduced-them-3-times-rant.html Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:05:36 GMT and theyve only been dating 3 weeks. stupid fob let his gf meet my son behind my back when he was supposed to be visiting his grandparents. im so... and theyve only been dating 3 weeks. stupid fob let his gf meet my son behind my back when he was supposed to be visiting his grandparents. im so mad. and she has the nerve to message me today and say he has every right to do whatever he wants with my son because hes his father.

im sorry but bull. he has not rights to him and after this he will never be taking him anywhere again. ]]> Single Parents Dream.dream http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867936-hes-introduced-them-3-times-rant.html Housing Advice http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867804-housing-advice.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:44:55 GMT I'm on the usual benefits single mums are on in the UK (income support, child benefit, waiting to here about child tax credit)

Anyway, ATM I live at home with my parents. However due to circumstances to do with FOB I'm really considering moving out and getting away.

My questions are:

- What benefits am I entitled to in relation to housing? And what do they pay for? Like could I rent off a private landlord and get that paid for or not? And how long does it take to be able to move into my own place?

- Will I be able to afford to pay the bills (gas, electric etc) aswell as feed my daughter and I and buy her what she needs?

- Has anyone got any personal experience to share? Where they too are a single mum, with no income or savings other than the benefits there on, yet are living in there own house/flat and managing to pay the bills and take care of there LOs and themselves?

Also, does it get harder once you start studying then eventually get a job?

Sorry for all the questions. But thankyou! :flow: ]]> Single Parents Crumbsx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867804-housing-advice.html Sad :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867695-sad.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:27:48 GMT Today I'm feeling so so sad :( :(
I feel so alone, im 18weeks pregnant my bf left me at 9weeks after 4years together and today i feel I'm not coping! I dot have my own place and I'm so worried weather I'm going to even have a home for me and my baby! I do think I love my baby but I really wish I wasn't in this mess! Iv still battling morning sickness, major headache, feeling tiredness and coping with the stress of a breakup with someone I thought I'd spend my life with. Nothing positive is happening in my life and I try so hard to be upbeat but I just can't today!! I wish u had some sort of support from my ex I'm so scared of my future!!

I'm sorry for such a negative thread but I just can't stop crying ]]> Single Parents peapod11 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867695-sad.html does anybody still love FOB? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867394-does-anybody-still-love-fob.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:46:58 GMT Basically me and my husband were happily married and planned on having our baby together. just after i fell pregnant he got involved with drugs... Basically me and my husband were happily married and planned on having our baby together. just after i fell pregnant he got involved with drugs through his work and then started not coming home. he admits now it was because i would be able to see what he was doing while the people at work basically didn't care. anyway since our gorgeous baby was born 6 months ago he's not done drugs but sunk into depression and has left us again as recently as last week. even though our relationship has been awful for the past 15 months i just want him back so we can be how we were before he took this job. it's like i hate how he treats us and what he does but i still love who he is underneath.

did anybody else feel this way and yet still manage to move on as a single parent? ]]> Single Parents george83 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/867394-does-anybody-still-love-fob.html Going it alone and TERRIFIED :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/866701-going-alone-terrified.html Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:05:56 GMT Hi girlies, 1st post so hope am posting in right place! I was casually seeing the guy for about 7-8 months, although i pretty much fell for him... Hi girlies, 1st post so hope am posting in right place!

I was casually seeing the guy for about 7-8 months, although i pretty much fell for him hard :(, just after xmas i found out i was pregnant. I told him over a text message as we wernt speaking and he wouldnt take my calls- he ignored me for about 2 weeks. I persuaded him to meet up with me so we could talk and he asked me what i was planning on doing. I told him i was keeping the baby and all he said was "safe as long as you stay where you are" ( hes from birmingham im from cardiff) and no morewas said, me being stupid continued seeing him and last week he was calling me non stop asking me to see him so i did, the next night i tried calling and he told me he didnt want to speak then sent a message telling me he didnt like me and he wanted nothing to do with me and not to call/text him aga then blocked my number, i was so upset i got one of my friends to message him and he basically just turned really nasty saying he was going to shoot her ect! I cannot believe this, i cannot beleive i have been so stupid how did i not see him for what he was? He has 5 kids already and Im 9 weeks pregnant now and feel soo alone, my family are very supportive and so are my friends but id just like to know are there any other single mums out there that manage fine without tbe father around full stop? And do i even contact him again or what? I know i should hate him but it hurts so bad at the monent x sorry for the life story! X ]]> Single Parents Sadie26 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/866701-going-alone-terrified.html Feeling quite down http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865786-feeling-quite-down.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:44:40 GMT Hey ladies, Ive been feeling really really down lately, to the point I could easily cry right now and curl up in my duvet till tomorrow and I... Hey ladies,

Ive been feeling really really down lately, to the point I could easily cry right now and curl up in my duvet till tomorrow and I haven't felt that way in ages. It is silly things really which have all come together to become one giant ball of meh. FOB hasn't contacted me since I phoned about the truce and so I have blocked him on everything, I figure if he can't be bothered then nor can I anymore. But I am constantly being asked for friends and family if he has contacted me etc etc, on a daily basis and it is like I can't escape him! I wouldn't even know he has spent about £2000 on camera equipment if it weren't for my sister.

And then there is my sister. Today was a big deal for me, I wanted to be so happy today and yesterday was 30 weeks down, 10 to go and today we were meant to be going for a family meal. She was fine this morning and just before we were going to leave she decided she didn't want to go as she had taken 10 puffs from her inhaler and felt 'out of sorts'... when I was 23/24 weeks we had a family meal which she again ruined. A couple weeks ago I was worried about the baby not moving and she said she would rather go for a drive later and so didn't want to wake up and go with me. She keeps giving her annoying opinion on names [rudely!]. Yesterday she said I looked bigger than the day before and when I explained how I would lose weight she screwed her face up as if it was never going to happen. She doesn't help out around the house, doesn't clean or cook and it is left down to me to do. She spends all day in her room stuffing her face and then complains about how she can't lose weight. She is proud to be on antidepressants and sleeping pills... constantly reminding mum how she wants to hurt herself or wish nasty things upon herself... all for attention.

If I complain about my weight they have a go at me, both saying "what did you expect when you got pregnant." I have my nan saying "Do you wish you had waited to have a baby?" and my sister just running off to mum when I say I don't want her at the birth because of her melodramatics and then turning around the saying that she is going... it is no ones decision but mine and I am made to feel bad for not wanting her there.

She does this with everything! At graduation she decided not to go and is jealous of the fact I have a degree and she doesn't but she doesn't see the work I put into it. She reminds me that shes going to get a job in her chosen career as a snide attack on the fact I work in another field to my degree, regardless of the fact I worked hard to get my jobs and I love them.

I am sorry for the long LONG rant but I feel so shit and know that when the baby is here it will only get worse. Shes already said shes jealous of the baby and that she wont be the baby anymore... shes 20.

:cry::cry::cry: ]]> Single Parents dustbunny http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865786-feeling-quite-down.html <![CDATA[Messy breakup, ex's mum playing dirty - help!]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865269-messy-breakup-exs-mum-playing-dirty-help.html Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:57:38 GMT So my daughters father and I were on and off for the past few months. He cheated on me several times and I was just starting to get so tired of being... So my daughters father and I were on and off for the past few months. He cheated on me several times and I was just starting to get so tired of being a lapdog, so I finally, after a long time, worked up the guts to leave him.

Anyway he's asked to see my daughter. He's always welcome to come here to see her, getting to his (30 mins away) is a bit of a struggle sometimes as I don't drive and can't always get there. The past.... well, the last time he asked me to take her over I was busy, my friend was having a baby-get-together.

His mum is very strange. Basically, he started sending me nasty texts, saying he hopes I die so he can see his daughter, telling me to kill myself, etc. I told him I was seeing somebody else and to stop talking to me until he can talk nicely. His mum instantly texts me saying I had no right, how would I feel, I'm not catering for Summers needs because she doesn't see her dad...

My friend suggested going to CAB and going down that route, because his mum is the type who will start playing dirty, definitely. She is crazy. She thought it was disgusting that I hadn't taken LO to see her in like a week. My ex has bipolar/schizophrenia, is on 3(?) kinds of medication, signed off work, doesn't contribute financially towards Summer, and I also have horrible texts, including suicidal ones with photos of ropes tied to "kill himself" on my phone... What do I do? I don't want to go for custody if he's going to be allowed access without me there. He's never looked after her for longer than 20 minutes, when she's been asleep. When I took her to see him, she starts crying, he hands her back to me. When she was 2 weeks old, my mum caught him with his hands on her head trying to turn her head round.

I really have moved on, and I don't know what to do now. Nasty or not, he isn't fit to be a father. He is, and always reminds me, he is mentally ill. I always used to tell him it was no excuse for the things he did but he's always playing that card so you know, if he's using that then I will too. ]]> Single Parents wasey http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865269-messy-breakup-exs-mum-playing-dirty-help.html Pregnant and relationship falling apart. partner so horrid to me...........desperatel http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865168-pregnant-relationship-falling-apart-partner-so-horrid-me-desperatel.html Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:25:51 GMT hi been together 5 years, volitile relationship. im 31 and he is 44. discovered on new years eve that i am pregnant after being told for 10 years... hi been together 5 years, volitile relationship. im 31 and he is 44. discovered on new years eve that i am pregnant after being told for 10 years that i cant have any. i tried with my ex husband for years and nothing ever happened. i am 8 weeks pregnant and should be feeling so happy.

however my partners attitude has floored me and knocked me down so hard that i am in depair. he doesnt want another child (he has 3 others) and has been really horrible to me since i found out. calling me names, asking if it's his, saying he feels decieved. constantly telling me about his ex;s who did him wrong (i always have to hear this)

he even said that i was the love of his life but now theres a baby, its all different!!!! how brutal!!!

i will be honest, he is a jealous man who always thinks im cheating. i never have, i stayed because i love him so much and he was so passionate compared to my ex husband who never showed me love.

wow im pregnant, and long to be happy. i cried every night feeling that suddenly im seeing my partner in a whole new way. im not sure if its right to have a baby with him, my instincts say its wrong but i feel pulled towards him when i think about how we could be a family.

i even wished for one moment that i was having this baby with my ex husband, who although he was not as passionate, he would have been so happy. and im crying for him too. i feel like god has given me a miracle but why did he give it to me now?

my partner is so difficult, i have gone away for a week to think. to my mums house. but in that week he has not called me once! he is punishing me, controlling the situation as usual with his mind games.

what do i do? im worried that my baby will remind me of him every day of my life and if i leave i will miss him. i am white and my partner is jamacian. shall i dissapear with my baby and never contact him again? do i try with him?

im constantly crying when i should be so happy like other mums. what do i do???????

:cry::nope: ]]> Single Parents louiseuk31 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865168-pregnant-relationship-falling-apart-partner-so-horrid-me-desperatel.html In need of some honest advice... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865092-need-some-honest-advice.html Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:18:00 GMT Hi girlys! After a lot of searching, I found this would be the perfect place to share my story and get some honest feedback. Because I have no idea... Hi girlys! After a lot of searching, I found this would be the perfect place to share my story and get some honest feedback. Because I have no idea what to do!

I'm 7 weeks pregnant (a week earlier than my ticker!). My FOB and I are both 20 and both very stubborn in our own ways. We were together for 2 years before he became very untrustworthy and played me lots of times. So for the past 7 months we've been broken up. About two months ago, we were talking about getting back together and that's when I fell pregnant. At first, he was very angry and very immature. He wanted me to get rid of it and to never speak to me again. Then a few weeks went by and he told me that he would love to keep it.

Ever since we found out, he's been back and fourth and very bi-polar. He'll go from being the sweetest thing to immediately telling me that he is done and that I'm alone. He ignores my phone calls, text messages, he's rude to me, he doesn't make me or his unborn baby a priority at all. There have been several times, like yesterday for instance, where I've truly needed him and where is he? Out screwing around with his little high school friends. :dohh: Last night, I got to the point where I was so fed up and broken that I texted him and told him I was done. Today, it got physical when I went to his house to try and work things out. (You can read the whole situation on the last page of my pregnancy journal! It'd make this post a book if I wrote it!) It breaks my heart to say it, and I admire you ladies so much for your strength and determination, but I can't raise a baby or support it on my own. My mom is very unsupportive, my dad lives 3 hours away.. I have no real family in the area and his family just irks me. The unthinkable thought came into my mind last night and I told him about it.. That it would be the only reason because he is choosing to leave us and I can't do this on my own. All he said to me was, "Have a nice life and killing it. Don't ever speak to me again if you do." or something or other. He doesn't try. He doesn't fight for me like he used to. It's like I don't exisit to him. I want this baby so much, but I'm not strong enough to do this on my own... :cry::cry::cry:

So sorry for the book! I just don't know what to do anymore... I've ignored him, I've begged him, I've given him the silent treatment.. My phone is currently turned off because I just can't handle being ignored anymore. :cry:

Edit - I don't want to stop talking to him... I love him so much. But I'm just at my wits end. This is getting absolutley ridiculous! ]]> Single Parents makeupgirl http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/865092-need-some-honest-advice.html visiting on birthdays http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/864003-visiting-birthdays.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:20:39 GMT hi girls :hi: Just wondering what everybodys views are on FOB taking LO on his birthday? FOB has just recently started seeing him regularly after... hi girls :hi:

Just wondering what everybodys views are on FOB taking LO on his birthday? FOB has just recently started seeing him regularly after alot of hassle! We're not on talkin terms as he has to go through a family member to arrange access but i'm just wondering if anyone agrees with me :)

He sees him once a week usually & has had him for 2 weekends in 2 & a half years so he's not consistant. He said when LO was newborn that he would be more involved when he's a toddler as he wont be as bored :/

Anyway, im not allowing FOB to have LO on his birthdaym its not for awhile but i believe cos ive been there 24/7 he should be with his mam on his birthday. I have no problem with FOB coming down to see him on the day but i wont allow him to take LO.. Anyone think im being out of order? ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/864003-visiting-birthdays.html him or the baby? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/864000-him-baby.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:17:15 GMT Well... as soon as i told my fob that i was pregnant he said to get rid of it. Last october i had a miscarriage and it was a planned pregnancy and... Well... as soon as i told my fob that i was pregnant he said to get rid of it. Last october i had a miscarriage and it was a planned pregnancy and since then i moved back home because it was to much stress and i couldnt afford to live the way i was with bills etc.. so anyway i havent took any protection since and yesterday i found out i was pregnant again and i was so excited until he started shouting the odds telling me i HAVE to get rid of it i have no choice, its him or the baby i said im not getting rid of it so il have to be a single mum, he said im going to be a looser and i wont be able to look after it and it will end up in care. He said im selfish and cruel to bring a baby into the world. He keeps trying to blackmail me and keeps begging i get rid of it. He said he hopes i have another miscarriage... then i said i didnt want no more to do with him and i will make my baby proud i dont need him in my life. He keeps threatening me telling me hes going to text my mum and tell her to persuade me to get rid of it ( i havent even told my parents yet) he said life will be better without a baby :/ theres nothing i want more then a baby even though im only 20 ( nearly 21 ) he dosent understand the way i feel hes just so selfish and wants me to do what he wants! he said he wants nothing to do with it and hes not paying no money or care for it. Im so angry and upset but i dont want to cause stress to the baby... any suggestions on what i should do? im so confused and scared :(





 ]]> Single Parents Clairex20 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/864000-him-baby.html sex offenders register and access to LO http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863999-sex-offenders-register-access-lo.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:17:13 GMT Firstly, I think this is probably against the rules, but I am a regular user but didn't want to post this under my own ID as family/friends etc don't know about it, and I don't want them knowing... so please forgive me and allow this post to stay, at least for a little while!

Long story short, just after I found out I was pregnant my boyfriend who I had only been with a very short time, informed me that he had been in prison a couple of years ago for having indecent images of minors, which was about 8 years ago. He is on license etc and on the sex offenders register also. Obviously I was distraught, and needless to say I left him instantly..

Now LO is due in march, and so far I've avoided speaking to him, moved house, changed my phone number/email and blocked him on facebook, but I'm worried he will try and find me and get access once LO is born.. surely even courts won't allow a convicted paedofile access to my baby, would they? :( ]]> Single Parents anon_user http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863999-sex-offenders-register-access-lo.html Introducing myself :) http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863924-introducing-myself.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:12:30 GMT Hi girls well i think im going to be a quite a regular in this forum because i can really relate to so many of you so i thought id introduce myself... Hi girls well i think im going to be a quite a regular in this forum because i can really relate to so many of you so i thought id introduce myself and tell you all my story

Well im 18 years old and i have a little boy called Kai whose 5 months. I was seeing his dad for 3 years before i got pregnant. I was 14 when we met and we were never official (casually seeing eachother) but of couse i fell in love and that was a big mistake. When i found out i as pregnant he told me to have an abortion and we had a massive row which ended in saying "just tell me whe its here" which i ignored and i tried to get on with the pregnancy. I have to admit, having severe morning sickness which kept me asleep all day and night did help keep him off my mind.

My mum decided to move us all out of London and down to Sussex which i hated with a passion but obviously had no choice. The night before we moved i was 4 months pregnant and out of the blue i got a phonecall from him. We spoke normally and just about life really. He asked me if id kept the baby. He asked me to come and see him which i agreed to etc. After the call he texted him saying "i cant say im happy about this, but i am happy i didnt get a hoe pregnant"

I saw him and everything was fine. He touched my stomach and we spoke etc. After that i didnt hear from him, i texted him when i found it i was having a boy and didnt get a reply. I then got back in touch with him at 35 weeks at which point he said he would see Kai and be on the Birth Cert which i was escatic about.

Kai was born on the 18th Aug and when i messaged him to let him know he said he'd be down to visit shortly. He never came. He then said he'd be down to visit in the holidays but he never came and last time he said he'd be down at christmas but never came. As he's away at Northampton Uni i do try to understand but i feel so let down that he hasnt even met Kai yet. His parents dont even know Kai exists.

I recently got with a new guy Reiss who was amazing and from my previous post you all know what happened there.

So here i am £300 in debt cause of him, i am on good terms with Kai's dad and i hope in time he will be in Kai's life and on the birth cert. He says he didnt want Kai but he cant abandon him now he's here which sounds rich seeing as he's never made the effort to come and see him and mum wont let me bring Kai to see him :(

I do struggle as a single mum to a baby but i try my hardest battling depression and trying to be a good mum.

I hope to get to know you all bettter xx ]]> Single Parents KayteeB http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863924-introducing-myself.html single again :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863684-single-again.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:48:08 GMT so when Kai was two months old i met this guy , he was 4 years older than me (22) and made me feel so special. Told me he was gonna look after me and... so when Kai was two months old i met this guy , he was 4 years older than me (22) and made me feel so special. Told me he was gonna look after me and Kai. We progressed onto a relationship and he was amazing, made me feel like i was the only girl in the world.

Then overnight, literally, he changed. Its hard to say what changed but he didnt speak anymore, well not first anyway. When he did it was always a two work response at most. I remember one time he actually called me and it was only to get to me to do something for him. Im now in £300 debt because of favours i done for him and my lifes a mess all over again. Im just sitting here in tears because my life shouldnt be like this (especially not at 18).

I feel so used, so broken, so emotionally numb. I told him about being sexually abused as a child, about being in a violent relationship, i told him everything and he done this to me.

I just need some hugs really girls :( ]]> Single Parents KayteeB http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863684-single-again.html What if.. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863680-if.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:36:02 GMT Okay, so I'm in a crap situation. FOB is horrible. He was nice when we were together, but then became controlling and emotionally abusive. Then when I got pregnant he was slightly physically and sexually abusive too. I don't get it, he used to be such a nice lad :shrug:

Anyway, lots has happened which I won't bore you all with it, I'll just spoiler some of the things he's said to me in the last two months so you get an idea of what he's like:

Spoiler
Your a selfish lier. You never cared about me and you definately don't care about the baby. If you did, you would admit how your a failure of a mum and give her to me.

You'll get cancer soon enough. It's karma, for keeping the baby. And I'll get her and she'll never know about you. I'll tell her you didn't want her so left her or tell her that your dead - you probably will be anyway. She'll hate you.

I'll come to your house one day and take her from you, legally I'm allowed to because I'm her dad and you'll never get her back because your an unfit mum. Me and my family can look after her better than you, all you do is make her upset and cry.

When I take her to my house the first time, it will be the last time you see her because you'll never get her back. I will take her, I've spoken to someone and the minute she turns three months I can. And remember, me and my parents were considering emigrating a few years ago. It's definately an option.

When I have her, I'll tell her what your really like, my whole family will. By the time she's heard it all, she'll hate you and your family Ns will want nothing to do with you and will live with me.

I'm going to make it so hard for you to cope. I'm not following any of your routines with her, so she's difficult for you to cope with when you get her. And I'm definatley not wasting any money getting them bottles you have, colics just in your head. And if she actually has it, oh well. You'll have to deal with her crying all night won't you, serves you right. Your the one that wanted her.


Anyway, at the minute he sees her once a week. I offer him four hours, he comes for one hour. He does nothing. However the last two time hea Egan holding her for longer etc. He never says anything bad to me when my families here, only when I'm alone in the room with him (and his parents). I have no proof hes said all this stuff, because he says it to my face when nobody's there. Never texts me like this.

I know he's holding her now, so he can say well I'm holding her therefore taking her next month (she'll be three months). But I really don't want him part of her life. Just because of what he's saying, he is that set on hurting me, he's willing to mess up my daughters life in the process.

So say I moved house, didn't tell him I was or where I was going, changed my number etc. And told my family to refuse to tell him where I am. What can he do? Can he find me? Will I get in trouble? Could he take me to court? Will my family get in trouble for not telling him where I am?

I'm desperate :( I know I sound heartless towards him. But it's making my life hell and I know he's going to end up messing my daughter head up. Please help if you can? ]]> Single Parents Crumbsx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863680-if.html FOB has now made some contact :O! http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863165-fob-has-now-made-some-contact-o.html Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:31:30 GMT Well a few weeks ago FOB's new girlfriend sent me a few messages on facebook presumably for FOB as she said he was going to ring me in a few days which he still hasn't done :growlmad:

Anyway today I got a friends request from him off facebook which I declined but heard nothing else, I know if he contacts me I will just tell him to get a solicitor because I am sick of this now, he has made noo attempt to see how me and the baby is (i'm 35 weeks pregnant) since the 20 week scan which I am sure his mother made him come to, and as soon as the scan was over he just ran away...lol.

I don't know whether to just send him a message on facebook telling him of what I intend to do (not put him on the birth certificate etc) or just wait and see if he messages me?

Thanks for any advice :) ]]> Single Parents stephanie20 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/863165-fob-has-now-made-some-contact-o.html <![CDATA[Single mum & baby no 2 due in a week..scared]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862969-single-mum-baby-no-2-due-week-scared.html Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:23:55 GMT I am a little nervous technically im a single mum to a beautiful 3 year old daughter and iv braught her up well on my own had a few relationships but... I am a little nervous technically im a single mum to a beautiful 3 year old daughter and iv braught her up well on my own had a few relationships but nothing serious, then i started seeing someone a year and half ago got pregnant but he has been in prison through all the pregnancy and im alone now, he got out last year in october and lasted all of a month before stealing yet again and was in court the other day and guaranteed me he would be there for the birth but let me down again, now he expects me to visit him all the time its too much, he tells me he is never going back to prison and will be there for the baby and me but how can i be sure.. i think i am better off alone what do you think? He has no idea how i feel i just try and be posotive for him but its eating away at me and im nearly ready to drop.. plus im a bit scared of him.. He can be aggressive. ]]> Single Parents mummy2shania http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862969-single-mum-baby-no-2-due-week-scared.html TV opportunity for Manchester single mums http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862694-tv-opportunity-manchester-single-mums.html Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:33:02 GMT Hello everyone,

My name's Sarah and I work for a leading TV production company. We are currently developing a documentary series for a major UK broadcaster about the amazing work being done by a Manchester sexual health clinic. Full details below, please message me if you are interested. Thanks, Sarah

TV opportunity for Manchester mums

Are you a young single mother who is recently back on the dating scene? Or perhaps you've been single for a while and are considering a relationship for the first time? Have you thought about having a sexual health check up?

A major UK broadcaster is developing a new observational documentary series based around a leading Manchester sexual health clinic. We have gained access to the every day life of this amazing clinic: the doctors, nurses and patients who walk through its doors every day. Sexual health is an issue that affects all of us, and this clinic caters to a broad spectrum of people: students, gay, straight, parents, young and old.

We are currently in Manchester looking for people who would like to take part in a short taster tape (which would NOT be for broadcast), to show the channel's commissioners. We're looking for people from all walks of life, but would like to include the story of a single mother who is concerned about her sexual health – either because she has experienced particular symptoms, or she would like a general check up.

The person taking part would need to be able to speak openly about their background, relationships and reasons for being there. We would also need complete access to the appointment at the clinic, including any STI tests that are carried out and a follow-up with the contributor.

This programme is not seeking to vilify or target any specific groups, but rather de-stigmatise the issue of sexual health and show the huge variety of people who use the services of this clinic.

If you are interested in being involved in the development of a groundbreaking, educational documentary series, then please do get in touch. Deadline for leads is Friday. ]]> Single Parents Sarahhar http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862694-tv-opportunity-manchester-single-mums.html Back and forth relationship….. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862064-back-forth-relationship.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:47:52 GMT Hi ladies, I just wanted to post a little introduction/rant. I’ve been reading this forum for awhile now but haven’t really posted much.... Hi ladies,

I just wanted to post a little introduction/rant. I’ve been reading this forum for awhile now but haven’t really posted much. Currently I’m 18 weeks along (wasn’t planned) and have been with my FOB nearly the whole time. Even though we were in a relationship when I found out I was pregnant we had only been together a few months. He’s stuck by me but we fight, sometimes horribly, everyday and break up with each other at least once a week (if only for that day). He was so nice, kind, and understanding when we were first together. Now the way he talks to me sometimes is so disrespectful and mean I can’t believe he’s the same person. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting farther along with the pregnancy so it’s becoming more real to him, or if that’s just his true nature coming out with time.
As of today we’re together but I still feel like a single mom because:

1. He’s only had one job the entire time I’ve known him which only lasted for two or three weeks. I pay for EVERYTHING (he moved in with me early on so I’m totally supporting him). He’s been saying he’s looking for a job the entire time but I don’t really believe that for a second (sure….. you’ve been out looking for a job all day but when I get home from WORK your at your buddies smoking pot). I work full time, and I know I can support our child by myself, but I think it’s really unfair that I should have to support him also.

2. He’s not really involved in the pregnancy. He doesn’t read the books or take charge of anything (like getting the baby’s room together). If I don’t do it or decide on something, it won’t get done. Also, he says I’m using the pregnancy as a excuse. Like when I say “please don’t stress me out, it’s not healthy for the baby” He thinks I’m just making that up, and launches into all the reasons why HE’S stressed out. Who the hell knew being unemployed and lazy all day was so fucking stressful???

My brain is shouting at me to leave him, and do this by myself which is basically what I would be doing with him around anyway….. But my stupid heart is clinging onto him because I do love him like crazy. I’m also scared of having to raise a child on my own, and how judgmental my family would be if I told them we broke up. Anyway, thanks to anyone who read all this and if someone has any advice or suggestions I’d be more than glad to hear them. ]]> Single Parents BadassMom http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/862064-back-forth-relationship.html Need Advice Girlies - Long http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/861833-need-advice-girlies-long.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:59:08 GMT Hi,

My name is Kim and I am 17 weeks pregnant this Saturday. I'm really struggling with my OH.

Basically, we got together in October, the first time we DTD was when I fell pregnant - immature and stupid I know.

Anyway, we decided that although we hadn't been together long, we was going to keep the baby and move in together. This has all gone well.. Until now.

This is where it gets confusing - My ex is now with his ex, and he has a child with her. The little boy is 2 years old, and his ex is very rarely letting him see him as she is playing happy families with the new boyfriend.

I logged onto facebook two nights ago, and saw my ex had tried to add me as a friend, I clicked on his page - although I couldn't tell you why, being nosey I suppose. Anyway, my OH looked through the laptop history and saw this, when he approached me about it, I done the stupid thing of lying that it wasn't me. He hit the roof. He then said he couldn't trust me and didn't think it was a good idea to have the baby anymore. I was heartbroken and couldn't seem to talk him out of it. We went to bed, and although he cuddled me, he didn't once put his hands on my stomach or kiss it goodnight like he normally does.

This morning I called the doctors (as I have a UTI and needed tablets) he came with me and I asked the doctor about how I could go about with different options of this pregnancy. She gave me a little card with contact numbers on it, and said I must make an appointment with them.

My OH dropped me to work after, but I could not concentrate at all, I asked him to pick me up and we will book an appointment with the number I got given.. He picked me up, and whilst driving he took the card from my hand and ripped it up into pieces. I asked him why he done this and he said that 'we will be ok - we will get through this' My heart was in my mouth, cos whilst I wanted to shout at him for putting me through this morning I was just so grateful that he wasn't making me make a decision I did NOT wanna make.

I was just wondering whether you think that he was being serious, or whether just because of the heartache he saw me have that he felt guilty.

Whilst I think that all single mothers are brilliant, I am scared to death of dealing with a child on my own. I love my OH dearly and believe that we could work.

Thanks for reading x ]]> Single Parents Kim91x http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/861833-need-advice-girlies-long.html Reducing Visitation? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/861522-reducing-visitation.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:48:09 GMT Not as bad as the title looks really lol. :haha: Anyway my girls got accepted for the two year funding until April and then in April they start... Not as bad as the title looks really lol. :haha:

Anyway my girls got accepted for the two year funding until April and then in April they start school nursery so from next week the girls will be going to nursery however many hours a day per week.

FOB currently has the girls one day during the week and every other weekend. I want to stop midweek contact because of nursery, I've text his mum and asked if she could tell him that from next week midweek contact will stop and so far no reply.

I go today to agree terms and he hasn't bothered to contact us once to find out anything about it. Nothing, not even a text through his mum.

I've also deleted his dad and sister because I know they report back to him and I am sick of him knowing how his kids are through someone else.

Would he have a reason to take me to court if I stopped him? I don't want to go to court but I also don't want him having midweek contact. ]]> Single Parents Laura2919 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/861522-reducing-visitation.html Looking for some suggestions - access visits http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860974-looking-some-suggestions-access-visits.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:32:23 GMT Up until now I've been meeting fob in town for a couple of hours but realistically this can't continue as Phoebe is getting bored and often falls asleep, leading to him moaning that she's asleep! Also he keeps telling lies to people that we're back together (among other things) and cos we're seen together it's believed. That gets back to my older kids and obviously isn't good for them as his bad treatment of them is one of the main reasons we're not together.

I just don't know what else to suggest! There are no soft play places that are easy to get to locally, I was thinking park in better weather but that won't be a while yet. Hoping there's something obvious that I've missed by overthinking lol ]]> Single Parents pinkie77 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860974-looking-some-suggestions-access-visits.html single mums to be http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860912-single-mums.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:21:28 GMT will you contact FOB when you have baby? and will you be putting him on the birth cert? I was going to contact him when I had her but ive been... will you contact FOB when you have baby? and will you be putting him on the birth cert?

I was going to contact him when I had her but ive been thinking why should I? he can not even send a text asking how my pregnancy so why should I let him know.

As for the birth cert he doesnt respond to my texts so doubt he will be on her cert. ]]> Single Parents louloubelle76 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860912-single-mums.html how do you manage being a single mother and in debt :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860814-do-you-manage-being-single-mother-debt.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:00:12 GMT Hi all :)

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant with my first baby, really excited for the birth and meeting her but I'm getting worried now about the amount of debt I am thanks to FOB :@.

He took out phone contracts in my name, had all the utility bills in my name, stole money off me, bought things off my ebay account yada yada yada....all this means I have about £7000 unsecured debt on my hands :(

I'm really worrying now that I won't be able to cope being a single mother on benefits as well as having all this debt on my hands :( I'm not paying anything towards the debts at the moment because I simply can't afford it but I was thinking when the baby's born to start a payment plan or something. Just rang the debt advisory service and they said the minimum they'd be able to do a payment plan for a month is £80, would I be able to afford this on benefits?

I desperately want a job so that I can get out of this debt, I'm terrified that I'm gonna get bailiffs turning up at my door :(

And to make matters worse I know that FOB will only have to give me £5 a week for child support, its a joke :(

I really don't know what to do :wacko::shrug: ]]> Single Parents stephanie20 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860814-do-you-manage-being-single-mother-debt.html Have I done the right thing? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860594-have-done-right-thing.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:26:44 GMT So my FOB is still not contacting me and now I have turned the tables and got all cold and factual on him. Last night was a bad night for me and I... So my FOB is still not contacting me and now I have turned the tables and got all cold and factual on him. Last night was a bad night for me and I sometimes wake up from sleep having dreamt about him and what we had. I get very, very upset when people I know look at me in shock when I say the father has left me whilst pregnant, they rightly look repulsed and saddened by his behaviour. I get the 'oh you poor, poor thing' all the time and it makes me angry that he has done that.

Today I sent him an e-mail message that was unemotional, to the point and it mentioned when his son is due to be born, his name and that I would like to organise some form of child support with him directly before going to the CSA as my last resort. I told him I never wish to communicate with him anymore unless it is about his son and if he does not respond between now and when baby is born, I will have to go through CSA direct.

He has always said he has no money yada yada, but if he had only just kept in contact, asked about his child, asked if he could do anything whilst I was pregnant, I would have been less angry about the whole thing. To just never call and ignore some of my texts is just out of line. I hope I have done the right thing now. I hate having bad feelings and arguing with anyone but I just feel he has left me no choice? ]]> Single Parents Dezireey http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860594-have-done-right-thing.html Tips from other single mums with 2 under 2? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860520-tips-other-single-mums-2-under-2-a.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:47:06 GMT It's just suddenly dawned on me, that in only a few weeks (probably only got 2 left if its anything like my other pregnancies!) I'm going to have a newborn and 13/14 month old, as well as 3 older ones to get ready for school etc!!!! :haha:

Anyone else here who is/has been through 2 under 2 on their own!? any top tips for managing!? :wacko: ]]> Single Parents Ju_bubbs http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860520-tips-other-single-mums-2-under-2-a.html Did anyone enjoy conception? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860421-did-anyone-enjoy-conception.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:49:54 GMT I know this is a bit of a random thing and maybe a bit on a personal level but going off of another thread, "Most Annoying Thing About FOB", I was just wondering if anyone enjoyed the conception??? As the majority of these 'men' seem to think they are God's gift.

For me, faking it should have been enough of a warning to leave before I did!!! It was the most rubbish sex of my life and I thought that even when I was going out with him. Also he used to pull a weird smile towards the end and it made me cringe!! Also the constant "I'm the only one who gets to do this"... was very offputting... he has actually put me off sex for life I feel. ]]> Single Parents dustbunny http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860421-did-anyone-enjoy-conception.html eyeopener http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860185-eyeopener.html Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:29:04 GMT for some reason, this weekend has been a complete eyeopener for me. I've decided to change my whole way of thinking & its all cos i've had some 'me' time over the weekend to realise i haven't been the best parent i could be..

I've realised i need to stop being so hard on jayden & be more rewarding towards the good things he does :) i think the main thing that will help me be a better parent will be to try & stay calm & positive, which is a little hard to do being a stay at home mam & a single one at that hehe

So ladies, what helps you stay calm? Me time? Certain way of thinking? Or is it just me whats the only one who's wound up 24/7 :haha: ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860185-eyeopener.html Edited http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860154-edited.html Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:58:50 GMT Edited by a moderator Edited by a moderator ]]> Single Parents laurajane1982 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860154-edited.html What I love about being a single parent.... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860016-love-being-single-parent.html Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:46:08 GMT Nice happy, positive thread for us single parents! When I first became a single mum I was so scared and it seemed like the worst thing in the world.... Nice happy, positive thread for us single parents! When I first became a single mum I was so scared and it seemed like the worst thing in the world. However, now I actually LOVE being a single mum. FOB left 9 months ago and I really am enjoying being a single mummy. So here is what I love about being a single parent:

- No dirty, lazy man to clean up after!!
- No arguments
- I can do what I want, when I want
- I can have the TV all to myself and not have anyone moan about what I want to watch
- I have the bed all to myself and I can wrap the quilt right round me!

Add yours please! :flower: ]]> Single Parents Sophie1205 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/860016-love-being-single-parent.html <![CDATA["I'm too ill to visit"...]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/859710-im-too-ill-visit.html Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:28:33 GMT Bollocks...

I'm sorry but some twatty, absent by choice fathers totally take the piss. My FOB being one of them.

The past 14 months I've been there for the kids, been ill, even had to discharge myself from hospital when I was being rehydrated whilst pg with Louie to be there for them. I'm always there. He has flitted in and out, caused rows, just done what he wants really. He doesn't see that what he does is a joke of an effort, he literally just wants the life of a singleton back and sod everything else.

FOB was supposed to be 'visiting' this morning, just to prove that he's still alive. I even contemplated a few drinks last night but opted out because he's not reliable. Spotted on FB aswell that his mum had company and knew he'd want to hang around for a socialise.

So I got up this morning barraged by texts about how ill he is :roll:. Once again I had to let the kids down on his behalf. He said he'd come if I was going to be pissed off about it but tbh by then the damage had been done and seeing him would have been even more detrimental so I said no.

Oh to live a life where you can avoid seeing your 4 kids because you feel a bit under the weather. I still chuckle over all the reasons he gave ME for why we couldn't be together when a simple sum up of "I'm a lazy shit and would rather live like a child myself than bring my own up" would have explained it clearly.

Rant over :dohh: ]]> Single Parents Snowball http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/859710-im-too-ill-visit.html he broke my 3 year olds heart(rant) http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858832-he-broke-my-3-year-olds-heart-rant.html Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:56:55 GMT stupid dumb redneck dead beat FOB is starting his neglectful behavior all over agian. hes got a new girlfriendagain and has blown off his son twice... stupid dumb redneck dead beat FOB is starting his neglectful behavior all over agian. hes got a new girlfriendagain and has blown off his son twice in the last week to see her. he only has 6 hours a week with him right now and hes ditching him for her. hes done this twice before but my son was to young to understand now he does. When my son got excited today and said daddys coming to see me tommorrow (he knows his dad comes saturdays) i had to tell him no hes not and honestly he was so disapointed it broke my heart too. i wanted to scream at him. and what kind of girl would let him do this, is she seriously that selfish that she cant be without him for 6 hours a week so a little boy doesnt get hurt.

im resisting the urge to message her and his parents to so everyones aware that hes doing this and isnt the perfect dad he pretends to be ugh ]]> Single Parents Dream.dream http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858832-he-broke-my-3-year-olds-heart-rant.html Moving to my own house on IC, anyone help? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858622-moving-my-own-house-ic-anyone-help.html Fri, 20 Jan 2012 22:13:58 GMT Just wondering if anyone can help me, I wont go into details but it looks like me and FOB are splitting up. Me, him and LO are currently living with... Just wondering if anyone can help me, I wont go into details but it looks like me and FOB are splitting up. Me, him and LO are currently living with his mum. He works, so does she, I dont qualify for benefits because he earns too much but I dont work.

Now I want to split with him and get a little house for me and LO, asap. The problem is I have NO money whatsoever. I get CB and CTC but that isnt much as you all know. I know I can get housing benefit once I live in a house but how can I get into a house with no money!? The wait on the local council house list is at least 1 year so it would have to be a private rental which means I'd have to pay deposit, 1st months rent and possibly agent fees too. Is there any kind of grant or loan I can get for this? I'm desperate to be out of this relationship but I'm trapped by this housing issue :wacko: x ]]> Single Parents Pixxie http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858622-moving-my-own-house-ic-anyone-help.html LO at his dads for weekend :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858493-lo-his-dads-weekend.html Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:04:45 GMT well jaydens gone to his dads until sunday :( its only 2nd time he's ever gone for the weekend, so i do apologise to those who have to go through it every week, but im going mad :(

I know its good for jayden to spend time with his dad but i genuinely dont feel like he deserves to have him for a weekend just cos he decided to! My son needs a routine & a consistant one not just a weekend every 6 months :(

Some might disagree, or think im selfish but i just want him home & its only been 10 hours lol sorry for the length of this but just had to rant :) xx ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/858493-lo-his-dads-weekend.html I Need Help.. Now. /: *Also in Teen Pregnancy http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/857716-need-help-now-also-teen-pregnancy.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:58:03 GMT Hi all. I'm in a bit of a bind... Turns out my ex fiancee isn't my FOB. I know, I know. I'm stupid. We had broken up mid '10, and I found someone else. He's a bit younger than me, and he's the father. I went back and backtracked- I got pregnant in April, which is the first time we had sex, and he was the only one I had sex with at that time. Then my ex fiancee and I got back together in May after FOB and I broke up. Had sex mid-May. There's no way he's the father. I've checked all of my dates, and Zander's GA. Well.. I let my FOB know I was pregnant when I first suspected, but didn't claim he was his- I thought Z was ex fiancee's. Well, he denied him over and over without me accusing him. So we stopped talking because I was tired of his immaturity, etc. Well.. upon realizing Zander IS Kyle's, I let him know. And now, suddenly, he wants to be in our lives, when he denied him to begin with without me saying anything, and just randomly shows up when Zander's almost due? Idfts. I've been doing this alone for months, other than my family, and I'm doing just fine. ZANDER is doing just fine. I don't need OR want him. He randomly started texting me out of nowhere, and then flat out asked who the FOB is. I told him, and I also told him I'm going to be a single parent until I find my OH, and Zander and I will be just fine that way. Everything was fine and dandy, I told him he could still see Z and all, etc. We were getting along just fine. Well, he added me on FB again. I looked at his page...... Turns out, he's drinking again, and on probation. HE'S 16! That's RIDICULOUS. And all he posts ONLINE about, is someone going and buying him some booze, or coming to share a bottle, that type of thing. He's got a PO and has to have random tests and has failed at least one that I know of. Well.. He was drunk last night, and we were talking about Zander, and I found out he was shitfaced. I pretty much told him that he screwed himself over doing that when it comes to Zander. I don't want him near him, at all. Well, I never flat out said he couldn't see him or anything. Then he starts going on and on about how I'm not going to keep him from his child, that he'll take me to court for custody, he had already talked to PO about it and if things weren't settled by Monday she'd order a paternity test, etc. (keep in mind this is at like.. 3 a.m. so I'm not sure how he had "already spoken to her") I'm sitting here like "Really..? You're gonna try to fight me, a fit parent, for custody....." Idiot. ANYWAYS. I know he wouldn't really win, I mean, come on. He's a 16 year old guy, with a PO, has a drinking/drug/cigarette problem, and is suicidally depressed and cuts and all. (WTF was I thinking........... ) Well, he lied to me over and over last night saying that last night was the first time he had anything to drink since we broke up, etc. Bullshit. He posts all the time about being drunk and smoking/lighting up/etc, his friends told me that was a lie and he drinks all the time, and that his PO was because he was caught in possession, not ordered by his mom like he told me. Lies, lies, lies all the way around. Anyway. I don't know WHAT the fuck to do. I'm making myself pure sick because I'm so worried. My family still doesn't know he's FOB, and I want to keep it that way. I just don't know what to do... I'm not going after child support, not putting him on BC, any of that. I'm willing to let him see Zander as long as he straightens his act up and as long as I'm present the entire time. But I don't know if he'd really try and take me to court or not. I mean.. he's 16. He's an idiot, and he'd only screw himself over with the court system to see Z because of his habits and all of that. I guess basically I'm just asking is there anything I can really do? All I want is what's best for my son. And FOB is definitely NOT it. What choices do I have, if any? I don't want to involve any type of legal action if at all possible. And he's being bipolar and saying he doesn't either, then says he'll fight me. WTF. >.>

Anyways... After that long ass post.. Sorry bout that. I just really don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want my son to know his father. On the other, he's COMPLETELY unfit to be a father. None of this is out of spite from me though. I just want to protect my son... And hopefully keep my family from finding out because of age differences and all- that'd be bad... I'll be 18 in March. He'll be 17 in May. I know. I'm completely stupid. >.>
Someone please help. I don't know what to do, and I'm absolutely at my wit's end freaking out. I've never had a bigger regret than telling him about Zander.......
Or bring me FOB's head on a silver platter. That'd be even better. Then I wouldn't have to worry about it. ]]> Single Parents munchkinkidd http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/857716-need-help-now-also-teen-pregnancy.html Cafcass/court advice please http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/857096-cafcass-court-advice-please.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:07:52 GMT . . ]]> Single Parents JA1988 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/857096-cafcass-court-advice-please.html Single soon to be mom. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856472-single-soon-mom.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:43:11 GMT Its hard to find Someone to talk to who wont judge me. And its even harder becuse the ones I do know as single moms dont know what its like to really... Its hard to find Someone to talk to who wont judge me. And its even harder becuse the ones I do know as single moms dont know what its like to really be in it 100% alone.. They live/lived in the same house as thier parents, had a free babysitter, was easier to finish school, had finacial help from the babys daddys and thier familys were always close by ... Im not saying they had it easy.. Im just saying, Im gonna be figuring out everything alone, paying for day care, ect things they didnt have too.. I didnt even have a babyshower... I saved and bought everything I needed slowly.. They say its so easy but thier situation isnt the same either. I know Im going to do good, Im just fed up of being told that its going to be soo easy. It wont be Easy at all... But what It will be is Worth It. The babys father denyed him and then got verbally, mentally and physically abusive.. Was hauld out by the cops and has had no contact for 7 months (Not that I want any contact).. Im now almost 9 Month preggo and he decided to call my fathers house on christmas day... I was visiting My dad at the time who lives quite a ways from my place. All he wanted was to degrade me and then complain he wanted my cat... He never once mentioned the baby and we werent Together in a relationship, we were just "casually dating"... I never slept with anyone else but all the same, Was accused of it. I Love my Soon to be born son already and havent even me him yet.. I know I'll be a good mommy.. I just feel alone in my small community who doesnt accept single mothers all that well. Dating or finding a relationship at this point is out of the question becuse all they want is someone to have sex with without the chance of having someone be preggo.. everyone knows, cant get someone preggo if she already is. I also feel fort of cheated a bit with the fact that most others I see around here have someone to share every special moment with and someone to rub thier feet and pamper them and love them. Its not the same when your trying to reach your swollen feet over a almost 9 month bump to rub them yourself. I just wanna know that Im not the only one who feels this way... ]]> Single Parents XoXKittyXoX http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856472-single-soon-mom.html What would you have done differently? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856236-would-you-have-done-differently.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:25:43 GMT Hi all,

I am currently facing the very real (and scary) possibility that I may have to become a single mother. I don't want it to be that way, I'd love to be with her dad and be happy with him, and have a great partner in him, and get married and have another baby, etc.

Unfortunately, we are nearing our 5th anniversary and I feel like maybe 3 years ago we talked way more about weddings and babies. I stopped talking about weddings because he felt like I was putting pressure on him to get married; and I am not willing to entertain the idea of having any more kids until we are married, not that he talked about it constantly ever, but he's pretty much dropped it.

I started working full-time last April (only about 15-20 more hours than I had been working at the time). When I was part-time, cooking, cleaning, laundry were all things I felt I was able to balance on my own, though I hated OH's attitude about him working more/paying more so I should 'do more', it makes sense in a way. I think he failed to appreciate (and continues to overlook) the fact that my wages are the reason he can afford to smoke cigarettes or go out and do whatever, because I cover groceries, all the expenses related to our daughter (clothing, gifts, medicines, etc), and anything I personally require like shampoo or my school courses and books. I also make half what he does per hour. I don't think our financial arrangement is unfair, but I think his attitude stinks.

OH owns the house, and has allowed his friend to move into our basement. It's been about 4 months and our relationship is in serious crisis, mainly because having someone constantly there makes it difficult for any intimate moments, to carry on with regular family life & household activities (causing me to constantly feel frustrated), and we just aren't on the same page about it. I never wanted it to happen in the first place, now OH won't speak to him about leaving, and I've asked him to countless times, and he's agreed to speak to him sooooo many times before.

Also, we are moving into different interests. His are not interesting to me and I am frankly annoyed a lot of the time when he is bugging me to sit down and watch whatever YouTube video with him, totally oblivious to the fact I've been cooking, cleaning, tending to our daughter all day and he's just come home and plunked himself down on the couch, while I try to juggle dinner with our 3 year old and getting ready to go in to a 6 to 8 hour work night!

So, what would you do differently if you could go back.. I feel like speaking to him is like trying to talk to a brick wall.. it gets me absolutely nowhere except maybe getting called a nag or a bitch, or him just saying what I want to hear to end the conversation and get it over with.

I am staying at my mom's for a few days while he gets our furnace repaired and I've been here for like 3 hours, but I feel 100x better already, so much more relaxed and you know? :( ]]> Single Parents tasha41 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856236-would-you-have-done-differently.html not been on for a while, good news... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856213-not-been-while-good-news.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:59:16 GMT My little boy was born on 14th January. In the end FOB was there and so was my mum, I had planned to do it all alone, but in the end was in denial... My little boy was born on 14th January. In the end FOB was there and so was my mum, I had planned to do it all alone, but in the end was in denial about giving birth and wasnt even aware they were in the room with me, lol.

Anyway he is nice a healthy and I spend most of the day staring at him. This is my first full day on my own with him and its soooo nice just the two of us :-) ]]> Single Parents jessrabbit http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856213-not-been-while-good-news.html Advice really needed on returning to work http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856185-advice-really-needed-returning-work.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:26:21 GMT Hello All!

I am really in need of some advice from anyone who's been in a similar position or just has info.

My daughter's 13 months old now and I really need to go back to work and earn some extra money. I'm currently on income support and CTC, etc. And TBH i'm finding it a struggle. I am going to college part time and will hopefully be starting uni in september- as I'm not really qualified in anything i would be looking at jobs with minimum wage earnings.

Is it possible for me to go to work full/ part-time to earn extra money? With regards to childcare as well as I have no one to help out with that.

Just wanted to know if there was anyone in the same position, who has found a way of being better off? I have an appointment with a lone parent advisor aswell to hopefully get a better understanding. ]]> Single Parents missdubious http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/856185-advice-really-needed-returning-work.html potty training .. help needed http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/855910-potty-training-help-needed.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:08:36 GMT ]my son is 2 & a half & he's abit hit & miss with going to the toilet.

He's made it clear he doesn't want to use the potty at all so i've had to skip that :( he's fine with going on the toilet buut only ever tells me he needs to go on a night :/

I've introduced a sticker chart as a reward & he's grasped that as now when he's had a wee on the toilet he asks to put one on straight away.

Just wondered if anyone has any advice on how to get him to do it more regular? What were the signs with your LO that they were ready? I don't think Jayden is ready yet but then again he does ask on the odd occasion to go to the toilet..

X ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/855910-potty-training-help-needed.html <![CDATA[sick baby and alone :'(]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/855556-sick-baby-alone.html Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:43:01 GMT Hey ladies,

so FOB and I aren't together anymore.. broke up with my on Christmas. Not that I counted us as a couple since September anyways.

But I need some support.. I'm about to have a mental breakdown. My sweet girl is so sick and we can't figure out what it is.

She's on nexium for GERDs, tylenol and orajel for teething at 2 months (?!), and gas meds. She also had anal problems, where her little bottom hole wasn't big enough to poop, so they have to stretch it every week. :(

I'm at my wits end. She's ebf, so I've given up everything I possibly could to see if she's allergic to peanuts, dairy, soy, and nothing works. She's miserable and so am I. I haven't gotten more than 3 hours of sleep straight through for almost 10 weeks now. She barely sleeps and screams all the time. It's not colic so the doctor says because it's a pain scream. I don't know what else to do! I've also started using an ounce or two or formula to help all the spitting up. Helped a little.

I'm doing this all alone, other than my mom, who's there when she can be. But, its so hard.
I hate seeing couples so happy with easy babies. Why was I given a horrible FOB, so I'm alone and have a hard baby? :cry: I can't take anymore :cry: I want to be happy again. I want to sleep again. I want someone to help me and lean on when I'm emotionally spent. But, no. It just keeps getting harder.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ]]> Single Parents LeahLou http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/855556-sick-baby-alone.html Anyone have a good relationship with the father? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/854111-anyone-have-good-relationship-father.html Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:19:17 GMT Hi - my OH and I are really struggling and it is entirely likely we will go our separate ways. I'm so scared of the impact this will have on our little boy (he's 2). He adores his Daddy and he is a great father, just that there are issues between us I don't think can be resolved (see my thread in home life & relationships for info if you're curious).

I just could really do with hearing some happy endings. I know he will want to be as involved as possible, he will see LO as much as he can and I would do all I could to enable that. Is it crazy to think we might be able to do things like first day of school as a family, day out to the zoo altogether? Would this be too confusing for LO or would it be good for him to see us a united force, even though we're not together?

:cry: I feel awful right now ]]> Single Parents Sadness_78 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/854111-anyone-have-good-relationship-father.html Am I wrong http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/854007-am-wrong.html Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:33:19 GMT I've offered FOB 4 hours a week to see LO.
He comes round for just 1 hour. Never asks about her. Hardly ever holds her. Does nothing for her.
Yet texts me going on about wanting to take her to his house.

Anyway, ATM I let his brother and parents come round twice a month too.
There as bad as him tbh, not interested. But I guess they do ask how she is occasionally.

Anyway, is it wrong of me to stop his parents and brother coming round? Because FOB doesn't have a bond with LO and acts like he doesn't want to be here, and when people from his family are here he stays even less time.

FOB sees LO for 4 hours a month, and only 2 of them hours are without a member of his family being there. Any advice? ]]> Single Parents Crumbsx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/854007-am-wrong.html how often do you get a break? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853789-often-do-you-get-break.html Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:49:03 GMT morning everyone :) Just wondering how often you get a break, or if you get one at all? My son goes to his dads once a week for 4 or 6 hours. When... morning everyone :)

Just wondering how often you get a break, or if you get one at all? My son goes to his dads once a week for 4 or 6 hours. When he's gone i tidy the house top to bottom, do all the chores then by time i've done he's home.

I never go out on a night, never go out to cinema or anything like that. The only thing i do do is my best mate is a registered childminder & she loves having jayden for an hour or 2 once every fortnight. I don't mind him going as it gives me abit of time to myself but it feels as if whenever he goes i'm getting questioned on why i need a break :/

Anyone else get a break? How often? Am i being selfish by lettin him go to my mates house to play with herr son just so i can have an hour to myself? ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853789-often-do-you-get-break.html Please help :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853619-please-help.html Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:14:14 GMT Such a long story, but i feel like a emotional wreck right now and need some help/advise please, my ex has just contacted me, saying im using my... Such a long story,
but i feel like a emotional wreck right now and need some help/advise please,

my ex has just contacted me, saying im using my son as a weapon (COMLETELY untrue) saying be has a solicitor and being a general cock.

i snapped and called him a spitefull bully and told him to fuck off....
hes said he wants to have my son to stay sat-mon at his gf's parents house (none of which ive met)

i think hes going to try and take me to court, he is a horrible manipulative man and i no he'll find a way of twisting things to get what he wants.. :(

does anyone know the possible outcomes? normal acsess?

please help.. im in tears, ive had enough of his mental abuse, and trying to make him out seem completely reasonable to everyone else :(

im in tears
x ]]> Single Parents rose.wombwell http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853619-please-help.html Single parent again??? :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853526-single-parent-again.html Sun, 15 Jan 2012 21:02:44 GMT This is just a rant thread, just need too get it off my chest So me and FOB have been going through a bad patch more or less since LO was born, i... This is just a rant thread, just need too get it off my chest

So me and FOB have been going through a bad patch more or less since LO was born, i have a child from a previous relationship so ive been a single parent before but this time is so much different!

im so annoyed because we planned this baby and he has just turned into a total K**b! thing is if we argue on the weekend he will storm off, go drinking and i wont see him all weekend, yet he will still text me trying too solve our relationship over texts! and then as soon as sunday hits he's saying sorry and can't believe what a d**k he has been and saying he can't live with me, and its happened so many times.

he's done a few other things which have upset me.

arranging too meet up with someone when we were arguing and then lying about it

messaging my sisters best friend and asking her too meet with him and telling her he'd always fancied her when we had split the day before ( whilst he was still texting and ringing me too give him another chance)

now i know both these things he has done when we have been arguing, but it has been over stuff that he has done too upset me and too me he's trying too put it right, but yet doing those things.

i just feel i need some stability in mine and my kids life, not him leaving me upset and uping and going when he cant deal with the disagreement etc & i could get over him meeting a stranger, but when he spoke to my sisters friend it meant all my family know about it and people i know ( as she was also close to the family)

He says he only spoke too her because he knew it would get back to me and because he wanted to get too me, but it just sounds like a LOAD OF CRAP to me.

thing is after all this i still love him and it makes it hard when hes telling me he misses me, loves me and cant live without me etc etc.

i dont know what too do anymore. it would be so much easier too stand my ground if he wasnt asking me back :\ ]]> Single Parents ProudMummyx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853526-single-parent-again.html Sounds bad but its true http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853414-sounds-bad-but-its-true.html Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:00:36 GMT Basically since the ex has said no to contact centre we r waiting for court so he decided not to see her or have contact at all till court but the... Basically since the ex has said no to contact centre we r waiting for court so he decided not to see her or have contact at all till court but the last two weeks she hasn't seen or spoke to him she has slept through the night and is sooooo more settled with her sleep. Before she was getting up loads in the night and into me... But last 5 nights she has slept 11 - 12 hours :) sounds bad but it's doing her good not actually seeing him. ]]> Single Parents emlubu http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/853414-sounds-bad-but-its-true.html <![CDATA[Can't get through to him,I give up]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/852963-cant-get-through-him-give-up.html Sun, 15 Jan 2012 03:52:57 GMT Hello, Just wanted to tell my story as I guess it helps visiting a forum with other single mums and venting as I hope others understand what I am... Hello,

Just wanted to tell my story as I guess it helps visiting a forum with other single mums and venting as I hope others understand what I am going through.

My guy and I have been in a stormy, on and off again relationship for 3 years. We both are a bit overreactive and have split up a few times but always miss each other and get back together. I am 6 months pregnant and he left me three months ago freaking out because he doesnt want kids. He has always said he doesn't like kids so that was a red flag I guess. I had just started taking new birth control and it didnt work. I decided to keep the baby and said I wasn't prepared to get rid of this baby for someone who had not shown me respect in the past and that I could not guarantee that he would leave me again after another row in the future. He was okay with me for a while sort of answering calls and texts but he was upset about the break up in general. :cry:

I was super hormonal last week though and went totally ballistic on him saying he would pay for all the pain he has caused me and that he is a waste of space and how badly he had hurt me.He ignored me and he put on his facebook page that he had a stalker and she was mental?? How can he call the woman who he had loved and is having his child mental and a stalker when she is desperately trying to make him see sense and talk about his child?. I told him to take the post down as it was hurtful and disrespectful and he did. Now he won't speak to me at all and doesnt call. He has told a friend he is miserable but not much else.

I am just fed up with being treated so badly by someone I trusted. How can he just walk away from his own child, its disgusting. Right now I feel like getting real revenge on him, does anyone else feel like this or have gone through the stage of wanting to get revenge on him for leaving?:growlmad: ]]> Single Parents Dezireey http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/852963-cant-get-through-him-give-up.html New one http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/852450-new-one.html Sat, 14 Jan 2012 15:08:07 GMT Hi, thought I'd pop in here! I recently split up from my bf of 4yrs because he don't want to have a baby! I am 15weeks pregnant, his family are supporting him also! My family don't live near so, my ex and his family made me homeless! I was wondering what kind of help do u get as a single mum in the uk, finance wise! Any help would be great x ]]> Single Parents peapod11 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/852450-new-one.html Making my world a little bigger....... http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851802-making-my-world-little-bigger.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:53:14 GMT Well ladies it seems I have come through a dark patch and am ready to rock n roll 2012, i'm wanting to make more of an effort to get to know you and invite you into my world - I am literally everywhere :-)

you can follow my blog - http://singlemumranting.blogspot.com

i'm on twitter - Abby2810
MyFitnessPal - Abby2810
Facebook - pm me as I am hidden :kiss:

So come and have a look - and share yours too!! xxxxxx ]]> Single Parents AbbynChloe http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851802-making-my-world-little-bigger.html <![CDATA["Don't bring him up as a white baby" - Rant]]> http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851292-dont-bring-him-up-white-baby-rant.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:30:15 GMT A bit of background ... my Grandson is mixed race. His mother (my daughter) is white and FOB is mixed race ... *his* mother is white and has 8... A bit of background ... my Grandson is mixed race. His mother (my daughter) is white and FOB is mixed race ... his mother is white and has 8 children from 8 different fathers of varying ethnicity... apart from a brief appearance by each sperm donor the children were raised by her and the state (both financially and periods of time in care)

FOB has never shown any great interest in Kaylum ... when he was a tiny baby he frequently didn't turn up to visit at appointed times, provided nothing in the way of financial support and moved away before the wee fella was 5 months :shrug: He did start court proceedings for access just under a year ago but dropped out of sight again after being asked to supply medical records stating he wasn't a risk (he is diagnosed as psychotic and uses that as an excuse not to work) and hair samples for drugs testing (he smokes weed heavily and takes coke).

Now he's shown his face again :growlmad: ... not through official channels of course but via FB - he hacked into someone else's account and sent my daughter messages ranting about how 'his' son was being brought up 'as a white baby' and he will be going to court to stop that :dohh:

A white baby??? He is being brought up to feel loved and valued as a person who can achieve whatever he wants from life - his skin colour has nothing to do with anything ... and given that FOB's idea of his ethnicity involves a huge chip on the shoulder, trousers hanging somewhere near his crotch, do rags, fake gangsta speech and smoking vast quantities of weed I can't quite see that being in Kaylum's best interests :gun:

What is this 'white baby' crap?? It's not as though FOB has this vast Caribbean family all eager to share love, lore and traditional values for goodness sake - he has NO contact with his own Father's family at all - just his totally insane Mother and her totally dysfunctional family - and why the F**k does anyone's skin colour come into it at all?

Surely the whole point of being non racist is that distinctions aren't made :shrug: It's not an issue with us or with the people (of all ethnicities) that Kaylum mixes with, so why is it an issue with this waste of air?

Grrrrr ... rant over and discuss :haha: ]]> Single Parents TattiesMum http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851292-dont-bring-him-up-white-baby-rant.html anyone else not allow ex to take baby out? http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851041-anyone-else-not-allow-ex-take-baby-out.html Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:37:40 GMT just wondering as my daughter is 16months and i def set the rules without objection from her dad. he had only had her on his own once when she... just wondering as my daughter is 16months and i def set the rules without objection from her dad.

he had only had her on his own once when she was 14months (for a few hours due to work issues). there is no abuse or substance misuse issuses.

he did ask when my daughter was tiny to introduce her to his new GF but i flatly refused and that was that.

im strictly sticking to the i will not ask him to look after her as i NEED to be with my daughter as much as possible. but if he makes a reasonable request i wont decline.

just wondering if anyother people are in a similar situation as most posts i read are worrying about ex bringing back child late or making unreasonable requests.

thanks for taking the time to read ]]> Single Parents jellybean20 http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/851041-anyone-else-not-allow-ex-take-baby-out.html embarrassing to admit :( http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/850331-embarrassing-admit.html Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:39:36 GMT I'm sure i wont be the only 1 to feel like this but its really getting me down :(

Anyone else ever feel that stressed/low that they just cant cope? M little boy is my whole life but sometimes i even take it out on him by shouting a little too much when he's misbehaving. I hate feeling like this & soon apologise after rbut i'm often left in tears at the end of every day cos i just feel so low :(

I know i'm not a bad mam but sometimes i just feel i cant go on anymore. Anyone else ever feel like this :( ]]> Single Parents LTEx http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/850331-embarrassing-admit.html I wish I could just have friggin answers. http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/850068-wish-could-just-have-friggin-answers.html Thu, 12 Jan 2012 02:35:53 GMT FOB blocked me when I got pregnant. He begged me to have an abortion and when I refused I got some abuse and got blocked. He was a friend, we had a... FOB blocked me when I got pregnant. He begged me to have an abortion and when I refused I got some abuse and got blocked. He was a friend, we had a drunken one night stand. Remained friends, until I found out I was pregnant anyway. I've text him numerous times. Sometimes generally nice things. Other times abuse. Other times updates on Jayden. Never a reply. He really doesn't care. Although he's told other people he'll be involved when Jayden's here. I've never heard this from him myself though. One night when I was about 4 months pregnant he text at 1:30am while he was drunk, asking where I was :S and trying to have a casual conversation. It ended on "Just don't worry ok, talk soon". Haven't heard since.

It was his birthday today. I didn't bother saying happy birthday. I decided not to bother attempting contact anymore. I text wishing a happy new year and nothing since. I'm wondering if I should text him when I'm in labour? I plan to text once Jayden's born. To announce that he's here. But tonight I got thinking.. Maybe that's a bit much. Just like WOW.. Big shock. My sons here! So, maybe I should text when I go into labour?. Not sure I could keep my cool if I were to be ignored though.

Also, I'd really like my little boy to have his dads last name. I dunno why, I just think it's traditional. I'd love for him to just tell me if he's ever going to be involved so I know where I stand and at least know my sons surname! or if I'll be putting his fathers name on the birth certificate.

He's going to Spain for 2 weeks on Saturday. Lucky him ay! I've really wound myself up tonight. I hate that, there's a possibility he can just walk in once LO's born and be a dad. While I sit here pregnant for 40 weeks, buying everything, preparing everything. All on my own. Dunno what the point in this thread was. Just needed to let it out. So many things I want to know. But instead, have to wait until the time comes and see if he appears after the birth. :growlmad: ]]> Single Parents xAmiixLouisex http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/850068-wish-could-just-have-friggin-answers.html the asswipe http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/849859-asswipe.html Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:32:42 GMT I hate the stupid SOB so much right now

I cannot believe i reproduced with such a waste of oxygen.

He's off skiing in a week - is it terribly awful to hope he doesnt make it back unharmed???

asswhipe! ]]> Single Parents AbbynChloe http://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/849859-asswipe.html