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I wrote the following poems and thought that some of you might be able to relate to them and that they may even help you:
1. From the moment we met, we knew we were meant for each other We knew that someday he would want to be a father and I’d want to be a mother We spent our first 4 years loving, talking and sharing No matter what we went through we nurtured each other; caring
We had happy times, bad times, sad times, great times; a life together No matter how big the storm; with each other we would weather We were so close, we could face anything with each other, so in love So strong, compassionate, sensitive, together we could rise above
We decided the time had come to turn the 2 of us into 3 We were so excited and happy to extend our family tree We would buy things for the baby, little clothes and little toys We even picked mutual colours to suit little girls or little boys
We were disappointed the first month, we thought it would happen right away But we were sure after a little more trying we’d get a positive any day So we kept trying and waiting…the months kept going by Feeling devastated after every failed month and together we wondered why
We tried charts, tests, kits and all the natural things But it didn’t make a difference, the disappointment again would ring We wondered why it took so long when we were doing everything right We would lay awake with these thoughts deep into the night
Family and friends fell pregnant as we continued to try Oh how we tried to be happy for them, but instead we would sit and cry We would cry for what we didn’t have and what may never come And everytime we saw pregnant women or babies we would suddenly feel very numb
We decided to get some tests, hoping we would be ok But we weren’t prepared for our results and what the nurse would say Reduced mobility were the words, I didn’t quite understand What exactly this meant and how much we needed a hand
We endured tests and questions we were so nervous and so scared We just couldn’t speak to our loved ones even though we knew they cared We still don’t know what will be though we will continue to try And the only thing I know for sure is that with each failure, together we’ll cry
We won’t give up on a baby, it is our wholesome hope and dream And until we have our baby the tears will always stream If you’re up there little baby, please come see us soon For we need you to be with us even more than the night sky needs the moon
2. Our infertility cannot be seen But we feel it everyday The hurt the anguish and despair Doesn’t go away
We are grieving all the time For something we never had I never thought that was possible To lose something that was never there – to feel so sad
We hate to feel this way We hate to cry these tears We hate to wonder how long this will take Will it be months or years?
It kills us to see other families It’s a reminder of what we aren’t We should smile for them and be happy But we just can’t
It hurts us to listen to parents Saying a crying baby is the pits We should be so lucky to have a crying baby We wouldn’t mind a bit
We would sit and admire our baby This amazing thing that we created We would embrace this baby with so much love And talk about how long for this we had waited
We wouldn’t mind the dirty nappies Or the many sleepless nights We would just be grateful to have our bundle That we would hold so tight
We wouldn’t complain about feeding Or having our lives turned upside down Nothing could get rid of our smiles From having our baby around
We hope the wait is over soon And that our baby will be here Then the day will come That we can finally shed happy tears
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