CurlySue

My God did THIS thread take off in my absence?

I just want to know what a BFP feels like. What it looks like. I just want to know I CAN get pregnant. Miscarriage is a horrible thing and a devastating occurrence. But at least they know the joy of seeing two lines, the rush, the ecstasy. That is still a conception. That is still a child.

Even if I saw one and lost one I would at least know the feeling of HOPE, of LOVE, of thinking "This is it, I can do this again!" It might fade, I understand that, but I have never once in my life been able to say Big Fat Positive. And, I want to know what that feels like, I really do. I want to experience that.

Would not wish it on anybody but I would love, just love to stare at a pregnancy test and have it say to me "You did it, this month!"

I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, I would wish tragedy on anyone either, but this is MY tragedy so please respect that it makes me feel shit.

This is OUR tragedy, and we have every right to feel hard done by.

If this is the only place we can catharsise? So be it. At least we have somewhere to vent. Part of us doesn't work. It hurts.

We have every right to feel upset about that.

Omi

I just want to add my to pennies to this.

I understand that you Freya didnt mean to hurt or offend anyone, and I accept that. I would however like to point out that being insensitive saying something like, and i paraphrase 'some of the posts sounded a bit sorry for themselves'. Is just that, insensitive. And if, as you say, have learned something i hope its that. Empathy is a great trait an i hope you have learned to apply it and use that emotion in the future. For as the saying goes..'there but for the grace of God go i'.

And saying something similar to 'everything is relevant and there's always someone who has it worse'...is just plain stupid- and your new lesson- insensitive!!

I dont say this to be mean but i find it hard to accept someone on here of all places, doesnt have the insight of what ttc can mean to some people- particularly in this forum..(although even if you had a peak in the regular ttc section would have shown you that emotions run high there too but maybe you didnt have to hang about long and missed that part of ttc)

Point is, i understand you didnt mean this but stepping all over people's feelings no matter how un-intentionally is unacceptable.

I hope this will have tought you some insight into what 'firing something quickly off' can do when you dont see things from any other viewpoint than your own.

I wish you all the best for both you and your baby- you're lucky- and i mean that. Count your blessings!

, Omi xxx

CurlySue

Agree with that Omi.

And, you know what? I DO feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for all of us in here. It's not the nicest place to be (no offence), it's not the nicest 'club' and it's not the most pleasant area on this forum.

This is the place people come when they have problems. This is the place people come when they need a shoulder to cry on and to vent.

If we are feeling sorry for ourselves it's for good reason

Omi

too right, Sue! I think this is such an issue that touches on so many aspects of a woman's psyche.

Not only are you experiencing grief over what you cannot experience, the feeling of loss at something being denied you.

Add on the feeling of feeling like a failure as a woman- i.e. you're enginereed to have babies yet cannot get pg.

The stress of ttc can make you depressed, frustrated, enraged and cynical.

I could go on but i stand by what i said. ' walk a mile in my moccasins...' as the saying goes..

All the best, ladies!!

Mynxie

Ok, i've only read bits of this thread but....

Yes, it really upsets me, especially when everyone and their neighbor seem to get pregnant. Some of my friends have had 2 children in the time I've been TTC. In the time I've been TTC additions to the family have been 2 new cousins, 2 of my cousins had a baby and a great niece was born. All pregnancies were announced around the time of one of my miscarriages (not the same one, but every miscarriage I have had, someone announced that they were pregnant). One of the babies was born on my EDD (estimated due date).

I wouldn't wish a MC on anyone, the feeling of knowing that you (your body) killed your baby, is soul destroying. The feeling of failing your partner makes you feel a poor excuse for a woman. Struggling TTC for years, then MCing when you do finally get pregnant, it's crushing.

CurlySue

Miscarriage is indeed soul destroying. I think what some of us are saying, though, is that we've never known what it is to be pregnant. We've never known that feeling of knowing there is something inside of you. We've never seen two lines and touched our stomach and thought "there's a baby in there"...

...and, i suppose we just want to. We just want to know what it feels like to be pregnant. We just want to know what it's like to see a positive test, to feel that joy.

Some of us never have.

Some of us, sadly, never will.

We can only hope that maybe we will be blessed with that feeling, that sensation. That ability to say out loud "I am pregnant!"

Omi

I really hope you're one of the ones who does get to say that!!!

Hugs, Omi xxx

CurlySue

I hope we all are Omi. We would not be on this forum unless we had tried our very best and wanted it more than anything.