leeanne

I wish for all of you a BFP and very soon!

FJL

Definitely Miel...I think infertility is similar to depression in that 1. there is hardly any awareness (though depression awareness is growing) and 2. the emotional pain is far worse than any physical pain and you live it every single day but no one knows because they don't see you wounded up in a cast or see blood pissing out every which way.

I actually wish that IF carried physical attributes so that people could see the pain...someone with a broken leg would get a lot more sympathy than we do and the difference is huge. Their leg will heal but our hearts never will...at least I know mine won't, this traumatic experience will never leave me and I won't ever fully heal from it.

Arcanegirl

Group hug

AutumnSky

I completely agree with everything you have said. I've been feeling like this a lot lately. It's only been 12 months for me, so I don't know if I qualify as a LT-TTC-er. I guess I do.

xxx

loopylew

ive been trying 12 months and it the not knowing "if" i can get pg at all which is the worse, i agree that its like a form of depression as you have little control over it, you can try change aspects i.e luteal phase etc but overall what will be will be i think. We've not had any pg's from us lttc's in a while, maybe that'll cheer us up and give us some hope

jacky24

I know how you feel hun, i have the emotional and physical scars to show for it...

I conceived yes by mistake the first time, and now when i so badly want a baby after our loss i have been trying now for 13months, and last month was my first O....

I know how you feel, as i have a huge scar from hip to hip to look at every single day and strechies looking like the atlas of the world.....

We will get our 's girls... FAITH-HOPE-LOVE, will get us there

CurlySue

To look at we appear normal, right? Nothing wrong on the outside, so people tell us oh, it will happen. Its not like you have three legs. But, thats not the point, is it? We could be the most physically perfect people ever but, if our egg does not want to play then what can we do? Make it? The power of mind does not work. I have tried it.

And, oh, FJL, I know exactly what you mean. I go in there sometimes and think "Jesus Christ, how come you get to be pregnant for the billionth time with your billionth child when we cannot even get pregnant once?" I know it's nasty but, what I would give for ONE child, let alone six or seven, and I'm not solely talking about this forum, here, but on another one I shall leave nameless there is a woman bitching on about how it is taking her "seven long months and counting" to conceive Baby Number Seven. Yeah? Try waiting three times plus that time trying to conceive baby number ONE!

And the ones who say "FINALLY a bfp" and then you look at their earliest posts and they say "TTC since April 2008" - and they say FINALLY? Oh my God.

I just don't think it's fair. I don't think it's fair that people can conceive two children, perhaps, and we are still waiting. I should have a child by now and another on the way but this is going to be another Christmas without one.

And it's infuriating.

Beckic

I used to pride myself on being positive and strong - but this is just so dibilitating - i want my old life back - i want the old me back - but then I would have to give up - and I cant - i want a baby too much to stop now after everything.
i'm tired of people telling em to stay positive - I think its an achievement that I get out of bed every morning.

I'm glad we have each other.

Bx x x

Coffee

Completely agree with this (and all the other posts). It's just crap! Noone can see how much it hurts and it feels like noone understands. Occasionally i just look at my friends and wonder how the hell they can not realise how unhappy i am sometimes!
It's the fact that it's all 'out of my control' that i hate the most. 13 months of desperately wanting my life to completely change (which it will with a child), and 13 months of waiting and wishing for that change and nothing. I can't control that at all. All i can do is keep wishing and hoping while i watch what seems to be everyone else around me getting everything they want from life.

Oh and CurlySue- i hear you with the "finally BFP" thing! It's not their fault but it's difficult not to get seriously p***ed off about it! That and the people that seem to join BnB just to announce their BFP in the TTC section. It's like they are taunting me "look at me with a big bfp and i haven't even had time to post in this section yet". I feel like saying "naff off to 1st trimester then and leave us alone in our misery"!!!!

CurlySue

I feel that way too. "Go away with your sodding two lines!"

I don't know. I am just jealous of these ultra fertile people who will get pregnant the minute they come off the pill. I pity people who miscarry, seriously I do, because that, too, is horrible. They are one step up on us in that they know they can conceive though, especially those who already have four or five children.

I'd love to know I could. It would at least give me hope that I am not thoroughly wasting my time trying each month...

My biggest pet hate though? "Look at this picture. I think it's positive but I'm not sure." Of COURSE you are sure, you soft cow, there are two dark, dark lines on your test.

Not sure my R-se.