I dont know if any of you will be able to give any advice? ....

Im 38 and my fiance is about to be 35. We have been ttc for over a year and happily conceived in January 08 only to mc in feb. I had a missed mc and d&c on 22 feb 08.

I have booked an apmt with our doctor on th 14th August. However, im worried because we conceived i will not get any support.

I am well aware of the fact that i am have been blessed enough to conceive on my own and that im regular as a clockwork... i also know there's a 2 year waiting list for ivf in my area and the cut off age is 40.

Am i being ridiculous for trying to get on this list or for asking for any help? All i want is to be proactive..we'll keep pn trying and hoping..and if we catch - happy days- but what if we dont???

I just want to make sure i keep all my options open in having a baby.

Does anyone have any advice, experience they can throw my way? What should i expect?? Nothing?

You girls are an inspiration btw, and all the best to you!!

, Omi xxx

ps, several of my friends who are on infertility treatment/ waiting lists have encouraged me to seek advice with my doctor...

i think it wise to go see a doc Omi...and i think they will listen ( not to be mean at you but with you being over 35 ) they should listen ...
you should go see them with a list of questions so you don't forgot any thing you want to ask ...

Its always hard, wanting to be taken seriously, and if you live in England I have to warn you that NHS doctors are notoriously unsympathetic to those that have conceived naturally. But, you might get a good doctor. You might get one that actually looks outside of the box.

I just know that a lot of them will say that you have not been TTC for 12 months because you managed to conceive. I have heard it happen.

God I sound so negative. I am sorry. I just know from experience (or from friend's experience) that this is what they might say. They might not but, it's best to be prepared for that and, if they DO say that, make sure to remind them you are over 35 and it took you longer than six months to conceive.

They might send you for preliminary blood testing though, if you have not had them already. That is not totally out of the question and I think you can request these to make sure you are hormonally okay.

Hi Omi, I am not familiar with UK heal system as I live in the States. The insurance here will not approve me for IVF untill I go through the less expensive treatments. There are tests they can run to see if your hormones are good and they will probably have your DH do a sperm analysis before they start fertility treatment. Good luck and keep us updated.

aaw, thanks guys...wasnt sure if anyone had anything to say..but thanks!!! I appreciate all the info, i really do

yeah, see this is what i worry about... that i'll be fobbed off..but heck, our doc is a really nice guy and im not asking for expensive tests or anything...just to know i can be considered for it...should nature fail!

Ah, well....hope springs eternal, eh?

, Omi xxx

ps, akche, i useed to live in LA.. 10 years in fact. Where do you live? Ive lived all over the place..6 years in the valley alone!!!

Definatley go see him and see what happens, dont leave with a fobbed off answer.
When i was put in the iui waiting list they considered they amount of time it had taken from the referral date and made the wait alot shorter as a year had passed from doing all the tests etc.

Hope i made sense lol.

Aw honey. I would do as the girls have already said - it's best to get a Doc's opinion. That way you've covered yourself. At least you won't think back and think "I should have..."

Lots of luck darlin

I live near Culver City and Santa Monica. Still considered Los Angeles.

Hi Omi,

I think your doctor will certainly listen to you, especially as you mention that he is nice. AND especially if he has children himself (chances are he does).

I think being 38 is as good a reason as any to ask lots of questions and consider all options before it's too late (just tell him about me). Everything crosses my mind including wondering whether I should have or indeed could have frozen some of my eggs. I'm not going to ask those questions now because it would be a bit upsetting to know that it would have been a good idea years ago to do that. So, I say ask ALL your questions now and you will have no regrets in the future.

It is likely that IVF will not be recommended for you two because you have conceived before and you should certainly take some comfort in that fact. MC is very, very common and billions if not trillions of women go on to have healthy families afterwards, so no reason why this won't happen to you. It could be as simple as looking at hormone levels once YOU get pregnant or other factors that help people hold onto their little bean. It's a very complicated science, but as long as the couple are compatible (as you are) and all the plumbing is in order then another BFP is defo not out of the question. Statistics are on your side to get a sticky bean next time.

Now that I've waffled on, back to your question ... your doc will give you his advice and no harm in seeking a second opinion without him knowing ... or ask him to refer you to a gyno (the NHS waiting list can be up to 6 months, so not sure about Glasgow).

Wishing you luck and sorry for mashing your brain with my answer.

There's always hope and don't you forget it, but as I've said before "regret is a challenging emotion to deal with".

Omi
I'm just starting out on this and saw the doc yesterday. I conceived naturally and then m/c'ed 3 days after I found out. My doctor has advised me that we may need to go down the IVF route as all my tests so far have come back clear. Because I have conceived naturally once in 2 years she thinks this will be the route for us. Also I am 33 years old and the cut off point for Bury is 35, so we are in a similar situation to you.

I know my advice seems to conflict with everyone else's, so I hope what I am telling you is correct and can give you some hope