Tanya

Hi All

I know I have not been TTC for that long but this new cycle will be our 6th month of trying.... I feel so low and cant bare to see another . How do you girls who have been TTC for so long get through the emotional turbulence... I have never been pregnant before so dont know if I can even fall pregnant. My mom took 10 years to conceive me due to fibroids and endemetriosis and I am worried I may be the same... I know I have to wait another 6 months till I see a doc but my patience and nerves are shot. I know I ovulate cause I temp and use OPKs and we have Bded at right time for last 5 month but nothing... just needing some advice and reassurance... hope you all get your soon girls!!

FJL

Hi Tanya! 5 months isn't very long for trying but I very clearly remember around the 6 month mark that I was feeling very upset and frustrated that we hadn't seen a hint of a BFP. We were lucky in that we were able to get some preliminary testing at 8 months. I was doing OPK's too but had a 21 day progesterone test to confirm that yes, I was indeed ovulating.

We then got a sperm test and it showed then and there exactly why we weren't getting pregnant - lots of sperm problems.

So I guess its a bit different for us because we knew right then (and from what Dr) said that we weren't going to get pregnant no matter what we did, we needed help. We spent a good 6 months with natural therapies and even though we knew we only had like a 1 in a million chance of getting pregnant, I still hoped every month. As much as I told myself not to, I would still look for signs do lots of POAS etc.

There certainly isn't any text book type way to cope, unfortunately it is just a matter of trying and waiting. 1 thing we did do after about 9 months was we spent 3 months having sex when we felt like it, no timing or anything, this was done in an attempt to take the pressure off and to make love, rather than have sex to have a baby, often when neither of us felt like it. It obviously didn't work but it did seem to make the time go quicker.

After 15 months TTC we started to see a specialist and now we're at 2 years TTC and are on our first IVF cycle.

I wish I had a magic answer for you! I hope you get a BFP before the 12 month mark, but if you don't you know that you can then get some tests done to see why you haven't fallen pregnant.

If you haven't already, to try and increase your chances, your DH might benefit from a male fertility suppliment (basically vitamins, minerals etc) and apart from eating well, exercising and staying healthy, charting/opk'ing etc, there isn't much else you can do.

I know how much the waiting sucks and how hard it becomes when everyone else is falling pregnant so easily.

You don't want to freak yourself out with all the problems that you or DH may have, but it might be an idea to become educated with certain problems so that if you have to see a specialist, you can perhaps request some tests. The norm is 21 day progesterone for you and sperm test for DH. If both of those are normal then its usually hormone blood tests for you, followed by an internal ultra sound followed by a laparoscopy. Lets hope it doesn't' come to all that though!

I wish you lots of luck and I hope that all made some sort of sense!

If you have any questions, feel free to ask

Tanya

Hello Thanks for your wonderful post.. I think it is the 6 month mark that is getting to me... your advice is really helpful so I will def give it another 6 months and see... thanks so much and good luck with your IVF.. Hope you have a precious little one soon...

pixielou

Again, the same a FJL, I remember thinking after afew months-whats happening. The irony is we spend so much time trying not to get pg then and then when it dosent happen immediately it's so frustrating mainly because we don't seem to have any control over it.

Im also worried that there may be an underlying problem and have had all the bog standard tests done but nothing to examine inside!

Tanya

I think you have hit the nail on the head... I like to be in control and now I feel helpless... if I had known it would take so long I would have stopped the pill a while ago... oh well... we WILL have our day when we see that !! Good luck hun!!

buffycat

hey Tanya.......

i know that this is such a frustrating time for you........

i wish i could say that i'm lucky in that i know i can get pregnant (i had a mc back in march after 12 months of ttc), but the word lucky doesn't come anywhere close.....even though i have that to cling to, i still despair over it all. I don't even now which forum to read anymore.....should i be in TTC or long-term TTC....

i hope that we all get our bfps soon, beacuse we all deserve to have that special warm fuzzy feeling.....

akcher

FJL gave great advise. When I started out TTC, it was really frustrating seeing all those BFN months after month. I feel less anxious now that I'm seeing a fertility specialists because they are working with me towards a BFP. I don't know the healthcare system in Switzerland but talk to your OB/Gyn if you have concerns. Maybe telling them that your family has a history of fibroids and endemetriosis and maybe they can run some tests. Do you have painful periods? That can be an indication of fibroids and endemetriosis. Good luck and lost of

Tanya

Periods are painful but not too bad but last months period was so bad I thought I was going to die with pain... waiting for now so will see.. think will wait another 6 months then go to doc and going to take it easy this month and give ttc a break... good luck girls!!!

loopylew

initially i was soooo anxious about getting my that i used to test every month and be really dissappointed when AF showed, as the months have gone on this has lessened to some extent as i now know the chances are slim with my short luteal phase and seeing the Specialist eased some of the emotional pressure as i knew we were then on the right track to getting help. 11 months down the line i still get anxious in tww but as its a miracle if i manage 9dpo before AF shows i don't get as anxious, i don't keep tests in the house and won't test unless i reach 10dpo without spotting, as this normally starts from 6dpo, think its my own self preservation. Not sure what im really trying to say hun other than i think certain aspects of ttc get easier as you put in your own coping strategies, now i think we're half way to getting IVF etc if we need it and it is out of our hands until each fertility appt.

wannabmum

as has bn said I understand how hard are and seems 6 month mark seems to b quite common time to feel it more try not worry to much easier said than done I know like Flj we done all trying then when found out DH had azoospermia we know there no was we can concieve natural ICSI/IVF our only hope just had one failed cycle going for 2nd in Nov which at that point will b us 4 years ttc.

There is no txt book way of coping I guess what keeps us all going is the hope of one day bn able to hold our own little miricles so stay strong and anything u need to know just ask.

xx