aflight84

Hun, i'm so sorry your OH is being like this but when we're down we always hurt those closest to us. Maybe he just needs sometime to get his head straight with everything going on at work. Maybe he's worried if you get preggers and he walks out of his job that he wont be able to support you both as he'd want to!

Men are strange things - one min adam is the one going mad about bding not wanting to miss the opportunity the next he makes out like it's a chore!

Halle71

I'm not long term ttc yet but at 37 there is every chance that I will be as we have only just started ttc and that is begrudgingly from my OH.

He wants to have children but thinks we can wait.
Don't get me wrong, he is the most amazing, loving, caring man I have ever met but he thinks I am being hysterical about my age (he is only 30). When we started to discuss tcc he told me he saw a news article about a test you can do to check the longevity of your fertility so I should do that and then not have to worry!! I went mental at him. My points were 1. would you really trust your future to such a test - it cannot be 100% accurate? 2. what if some medical condition intervened and damaged your fertility in the meantime? Shut him up on that one. Then I gave him the facts on fertility after 35 - the chances of getting pregnant each cycle and the chances of probelms. His answer - IVF. My reply - I'll be too old on the NHS to qualify by the time we know. His answer - we'll go private. With whose money? I earn more than him as it is. He wants three kids so I worked out a timeline, leaving a modest 6 months to get pregnant and 18 months in between to recover and it meant I'd be having our last child over six years from when we start.

So, he agreed to start trying this month and I am about to O and he is being awkward about dtd. I can't bloody do it without him. So my mission this weekend is to be calm, lovely and get him bladdered!!!


Sorry, this has turned into a personal rant, when what I wanted to say is that you are not alone. For everyone who has support there is someone with a more reluctant partner. Just keep in mind why you are doing this. You are doing it to secure both your futures and have a happy family life, not for the sake of having a cute baby which is what i believe my OH sometimes thinks I want. I sometimes feel embarrassed and ashamed about what I want and I have to check myself.


Hxx

csmummu

HI becks,

I just wanted to say, I have been where your friend was.. i went for my scan at somewhere between 12-16 weeks (sorry cant rember) and the baby had died at less than 6 weeks. Of course hubby and i were devistated. i must have cried for 2 weeks solid.

2 months later i was pregnant and i cried again i pooped my self.. i made several visits to the early pregnancy unit, because i was bleeding or discharging and they were more than happy to scan me and talk to me about that was going on with my body.

Sorry rambling im gonna point things.

1. These things do happen and ofcourse you will be worried.

2. hospitals are very understanding about expentant mothers being worried and even priortise them over in the a&e I waited about half an hour to be checked out.

3. if you have to ivf wont they keep a closer eye on you anyway?

I hope you and your OH get back on the right track... Maybe not say anything to him but maybe not TTC until he asks if your ovulating or is this the time or something like that maybe leave it to him for the moment..

csmummu

forgot to mention baby number 2 is now 3 years old..

Beckic

Im so glad sweetie after everything you went through. I will let my friend know about your positive story - she feels so down right now.

And thank you for your lovely comments - I will try to be calmer - but when the bloomin witch turns up next weekend I'm not making any promises!!

Bx x

loopylew

men!! idiots sometimes x

Beckic

But yours looks so cute - I bet he is an angel - do you want to swap?

csmummu

Ohhhh man swap thread??? liking the idea..