MissMonty

Yes I know how you feel - just had a couple of friends round with their husbands and their children. 1 friend has a 1 yr old and the other a 6 month old - all they did was talk about sleeping patterns, feeding and what they had planned in the week like meeting up with the kids for cake etc - the whole time I had to try and stop myself from crying but I tried to join in (very difficult when I have no children) - it was really difficult for me today but I love my friends and don't want to lose them so I feel I have no choice but to put myself through this pain in the hope that I will also have children one day soon. I'm now on my 12th cycle and it will be month no. 12 in August - I feel really sad, I was meant to be having a bbq with DH but I've gone off my food now!

Chocoholic

Oh ladies, I'm so sorry to read all of this...

I hope we all get our s soon!

I personally don't feel or , (probably) yet. I sigh a lot and wish that I had one too but usually I just try to enjoy the little baby's presence. I have a few friends with kids, ages varying between 7mo and 15mo, and I really enjoy their company. I think it would hurt me more if I didn't have any friends with little kids. My heart aches but I still feel better with them around.

A way to join in on their conversations is to read up about this stuff. We need to know for the future anyway. So, it's a win-win situation.

akcher

It feels better to let our feelings out. My sister is currently pregnant with her 3rd child. Her 2nd child is 1 and a half. It feel like I just went to her baby shower. When my mother told me she was pregnant, I remember feeling mad. I said "another one?!? she JUST had one!" Looking back, I was filled with jealousy. It took me a couple days just to write a congrats email. I haven't mentioned to her all the tests I'm going through because I don't feel she will understand.

Mendy

And I really want to stop. I get sad and jealous when I see a pregnant woman I don't even know, and then I ask myself, what if she went through the same stuff I've went through as is just now pregnant?

I just noticed this jealousy and sadness and anger when my first IUI did not work. Now that the second one didn't work, it's been sadness, crying and jealousy times 10. I wish I could stop but I can't.

Just today, this girl I work with sent me a text message saying she got her BFP. And she said, don't tell anyone at work until I tell my boyfriend, which tells me I was one of the first people she told. We are not close friends....WTF? Why would she do that? She knows everything I'm going through. She even told me to check some website, because it helped her get pregnant. All it is is a site that helps you know when you're ovulating etc....I don't need that crap! That website will NOT increase DH's sperm count!!!!

So, of course, she ruined my day....I've been crying all afternoon, going from mad to sad, to wishing I didn't care about conceiving so it wouldn't hurt so bad.... oh....did I mention this was her 2nd month trying?!!!!

DH tried to comfort me as best he could, but every time he sees me crying I know he hurts too, even though he doesn't show it. He keeps blaming himself for all this....

It's just so hard and SOOOOO frustrating and I HATE getting so sad and upset and mad and jealous, and every other negative emotion when I see a baby or a bump or a friend announcing her BFP....

I don't know how much longer I can do this!!!!

Chocoholic

Oh Mendy...

Hang in there... I know it's hard, especially when something like this happens. But don't quit just because of the bumps on the road...

Maybe you should stop all temping and POAS for a while... Just to reduce stress. Continue to BD but without the parade...

Also, there are some herbs that help increase sperm count. Maybe your DH could try those...

FJL

^ I don't think Mendy is temping or anything, she's doing IUI.

Coffee

What a great thread, with some real honesty here. I think we all feel jealous at times, I know i certainly do! For me it depends on the situation! Sometimes i feel angered - for example when i see girls posting "BFP whoop whoop" in the TTC section and it's only their 1st or 2nd post. I know this is an open forum and it shouldn't bother me but it does! I feel like they have just registered to rub my nose in it!! Irrational? Yes!
Sometimes i feel very jealous - this is mainly when i see strangers with bumps or newborns and i just want to . Sometimes i am jealous of friends too, but i do try to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings as it isn't really fair on them - not their fault my body won't bl**dy work properly!! BUT, that's easier said than done and i think its part of the journey of TTC that you will inevitably feel jealous and hurt when friends get preggo and all i can do is hide it as best i can and smile and lie! I actually can't think of any other way of dealing with it!
Sometimes i do feel genuinely happy for people. This is definitely quite rare though and is reserved for the long term TTC-ers! Mainly people on BnB who have been trying for a while. It gives me a lot of hope and really keeps my spirits up, so i can be nothing but really happy for those people.
There's no easy answers though on this difficult journey....

buffycat

Coffee, you are so right.....it is such a difficult journey.....

i get really envious of my friends.....but then i desperately don't want to lose them too.....i have a godson....maybe that'll be closest i will ever get......

hugs to everyone though - i really hope that someone will wave a magic wand and everone here will get a bfp.......

Mendy

Yes, I'm doing IUI's. It's just the constant thinking about it and the 2WW and all the "symptoms" and then nothing. But we are all going through this, so we can keep each other going.

Chocoholic,
My DH is actually taking some supplements to help increase count, he only just completed one month of taking this supplement, so we will see at this upcoming IUI if it's working.

Thanks for all the good wishes ladies, and lots of luck to you all in TTC!!!

Helen_26