FJL

I'm sure i'm not alone, so i'm just going to cut loose with this one!

It annoys the fuck out of me when people say that taking a break, a holiday or relaxing is the ticket to getting your pregnant. It is a load of shit.

It especially annoys me when it comes out of the mouths of those who have gotten their BFP's instantly because it goes to show they have no fucking clue of what it is like. If they had to wait months and months or years and had to go through invasive tests and treatments I can bet my bottom dollar that they would not breeze through it all in a relaxed, stress free way.

Ever heard the saying 'walk a mile in someone elses shoes'? I wish to god these woman would put this into practise...

Its not just people on forums, its people in life and fuck me dead I am fed up! I don't smile and tolerate it anymore, I bite back, and maybe too harshly but i'm so over women thinking they're experts on getting pregnant when really, they were just lucky so therefore know next to nothing about getting pregnant.

The hard thing right now is that the 1 person who is going on about how stress affects fertility blah blah blah is my boss, so I can't very well tell her to fuck off now can I?!? Instead I firmly state my opinon that in 'our case' stress has nothing to do with it, and infact we haven't been consciously trying for a baby all year and guess what? Still childless - hello, our problem is not stress related!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, just had to get that out.

I swear, i'm not a psycho!

xXx Vamp xXx

I don't think ur a psycho at all babes. I tried for two n a half years with an ex of mine, and the ammount of people that would just say "it's because you're trying too hard" "go on holiday" "take a break" "don't try" etc, was amazing. And until they've been there and indeed walked a mile in your shoes hun they wont understand. They *in some way* think they're helping. And pfft @ your boss, I'll growl at them for you!

All I can say babes is I hope you get some good news soon, xXx

Mendy

I totally agree with you FJL. Me and DH have been TTC for 10 mos and people who dont know say, "Relax, take a break, don't stress, it will happen." Well, stress has nothing to do with it, even though I'm stressed the f*ck out, our problem is that DH has very, very, VERY low sperm count and we need fertility treatments. I am on my second IUI 2WW, even though RE's have told us we really have no chance with IUI's and we should move on to IVF or ICSI.
The problem is we really don't have the money for IVF now, and I want to try IUI for at least 4 cycles, because it only takes one to meet that egg....

So I know EXACTLY what you mean, it annoys the sh*T out of me too, but I try to keep it to myself, but sometimes I feel like screaming my head off!!!!!

Don't worry, we don't think you're a psycho...all us going through this can definitely relate!

And I see you are on your first IVF cycle!!!! Good luck! Wishing you the best!!! If I have to end up doing it, I will probably have loads of questions....hope you don't mind!

loopylew

Even my Fertility Consultant was like that, suggesting to us that the way forward was to relax and stop charting etc, ot listening to me about my short luteal phase, saying it was the affects of the pill and it will get better in "time" how long is "time"???!!!

FJL

Loopy, we've had doctors (all doctors we've seen bar our current specialist) tell us to relax too and they of all people should know that it takes more than that. If they think that 'relaxing' will increase my DH's sperm count, very low motility, incredibly low morphology and highly damaged sperm then I reckon they must believe that pigs fly around at night when no one is watching.

Mendy, best of luck for your cycle and I hope you don't have to do IVF. I've got a diary in this section if you want to follow, but feel free to ask any questions.

maz

I know where you're coming from hun. It is so bloody annoying. If it were that simple there wouldn't be a long term and assisted conception board would there?

Good luck for your journey. I really hope this works for you and you get your little baby to hold very soon.

xx

loopylew

why do they do that?!! its soooooooo frustrating and not what you need to hear, i think they forget that everyone must have been "relaxed" at first, its the several months/years of ttc which has changed that!

FJL

Exactly Loopy!!! We didn't start TTC being stressed out. For me, the first 6 or so months were fine. Sure, I wanted a BFP but I wasn't 'stressed out' then I just knew something was wrong, and low and behold I was right...

Anyone that tells you to 'relax' never had a problem falling pregnant. Whenever anyone comments now I say to them 'well you obviously fell pregnant straight away and never experienced the stressful stage...' and i've NEVER had someone say that 'no, it took me a while to conceive', they have all fallen preg straight away (within 3 months). *shakes head*

CurlySue

At work, the woman next to me who got pregnant twice her first month off the pill keeps saying to me "It'll happen."

The other one, who more or less did the same, says to me "you're trying too hard" (wtf, how can anyone try too hard? Seriously?)

The one who has four kids and has never had a painful period in her life says to me "if you stop thinking about it you'll get pregnant. It's all psychological."

I feel like asking her what is psychological about an egg (which I have no control over and, if I did it would release itself more bloody regularly) meeting sperm (which isn't even mine) and creating a child?

What on earth could mind over matter do for that? Could I lie there and WILL my egg to meet the sperm; the egg I am not even sure I have released? Will that work? Will it work if I just ask it nicely?

As for not stressing out - well, easy for them to say. They do not pass by month after month after month doing negative tests and getting their periods, do they? They don't have to worry that something might be wrong with them and that's why they're not conceiving, that they have to live with the fact that they might never have a child.

It won't 'just happen if we relax' - it just doesn't work that way.

wannabmum

I know exactly what u mean (as u can tell by avator sorry sp) Some people don't have a clue when we were waiting for our ICSI a friend that knows exactly what going on says u will prob end up preg b4 u get that far wtf DH sperm dont get out his testi he doesn't have a vas so will it f**king orb into me!!!
xx