CurlySue

Safe to say that I absolutely, positively have no idea what to say.

My last cycle was 41 days long. The one before that was, I think, 26. The pain this month has been excruciating and God even knows if I ovulated. The day I got the painfully positive OPK does not add up to my luteal phase and I had a closed cervix and thick white tacky mucus, i.e. totally infertile. The times I DID have eggwhite I got no positive OPK.

Have had cramps for about 20 days now, severe (to the point of almost overdosing myself with strong painkillers) cramps for 4, 5 days...totally ruined the most part of my holiday because I was waking up constantly, having to sit down, not being able to walk properly because of them...

Do I go in with a list? Is that embarrassing? Do I go in with a list of symptoms and problems or do I do it off the top of my head?

I just don't know what to say...

Helen_26

FJL

First of all, sending you a huge This journey is so emotional and trying and for the most part, it bloody well sucks!!!

I think its a good idea to take the list in. He/she will probably ask if you've had such and such side effects, eg 'do you have a regular cycle'? 'do you experience cramping' etc, so you can just tell him you brought a list and would he/she like to see it.

Best of luck babe, its a journey into the unknown - all these tests and appointments but you'll get to the treatment stage then hopefully the pregnancy stage. We're all here for each other

waiting4u

Sounds like you are having a rough time, hang in there! A list is a great idea and also sounds like a perfect time to have a scan! My scans always seem to be booked when I had no cramping.

Please don't think having a list is embarrassing - that is what the Dr are there to do, help and give you answers.

Best of luck with your appointments! Look after yourself.

miel

you should go with a list and questions...ask everything you want to know

CurlySue

Thanks. I just feel so stupid. OH cannot come with me. The letter says to take him but we just had two weeks off to go on holiday and he has meetings all backed up that he cannot cancel. I will just have to explain that he cannot be there.

My doctor referred me because she was worried about the pain. It is so, so bad that I cannot even rate it between 1 and 10 because I sound like the biggest wimp there is. I cannot function with it. Its beyond a joke. I don't have a low pain threshold, it's just that nothing gets rid of it, and it's bad. I have passed out before, it was so bad. I have thrown up.

I feel embarrassed saying all this. I feel ashamed, talking to a man about the consistency of my periods. About the pain during sex. I am probably a prude when it comes to things like this. I get this horrible feeling that I am going to have a very, very hard time talking about all of this.

My list seems endless now. I get so many differing symptoms. No month is ever the same. The only thing that is the same each month is that I do not get pregnant and I suffer and that it's not fair.

That's the only thing...

God, I feel like crying. I realise I sound like a stupid, emotional idiot but its so close, now. The fact that I have been referred for pain and infertility actually means something to me, now.

it means that I am classified, officially, as potentially infertile, and that just scares the shit out of me.

miel

oh sweetie ,
you should not feel embarrasse and i have to say even TTC or not a woman should not have to suffer every time she get AF ...you should not being in pain

CurlySue

I suppose we all suffer to some extent. Or, at least, some of us do. Each month I say to myself "it can't get any worse than this" and the next month it does. For longer, too. I would accept a day or two of AF pain. When its 10 days of moderate pain and a following 5 days of pill popping agony then I suppose it's time to draw a line.

I just wish the doctor was not a man, though he is an infertility and endo specialist so if it is that he will at least know what I am talking about. He may not have experienced the pain but he knows the physiology of it.

I keep saying to myself, whatever is the cause of this pain MUST be the cause of me not getting pregnant. It has to be.

I am just worried that there will be nothing wrong, the pain will be unexplained and I will just be an infertile woman who suffers each month.

Ra.

FJL

Oh hun, feeling that low is just the worst.

First of all, I also have a phobia of spreading my legs to drs's, talking to them about personal things but honestly, and i'm sure you know this, these kind of dr's see and talk about these things on a daily basis. To them it is like discussing the weather!

Just try and focus on one thing at a time without letting your mind wander onto the 'what ifs' and I know that it is very easy for me to say and much harder for you to do.

I would guess that he would want to do a lap on you to see if you have endo and if you do to fix it as best he can.

When I was in my early teens I suffered excruciating period pain, I too would be in so much pain it would cause me to pass out and vomit and I was prescribed a tranquiliser to just sleep through the pain, so I know how awful it is. A Dr put me on the pill which cut the pain back to 1/2 and then I was on prescription pain killers.

Then when I was 19 I had a lap done as they were certain I would've had endo or something but everything was fine. I recently had another lap amongst other things and its still all good.

My period pain has settled down heaps though (i'm almost 26 now) and while others if they felt my pain might rush for the neurofen or something, from what i've experienced its not that bad and I get through it without taking anything.

Just wanted to let you know that I did go through a similar thing And if they don't find a reason for infertility for you with basic testing its not the end of the world as there are many more factors and ways around them to achieve a pregnancy.

CurlySue

My doctor seemed worried because my pain was localised on one side and spread to my back and leg. When I ovulate I cannot lie down flat. I have to bend my leg. I look like I have a limp when I walk. Instead of ovulation pain lasting a day or two, mine lasts for a full working week. Then it eases off for a couple of days after ovulation and starts coming back on around 3dpo. Never leaves me then, only gets worse until it finally ease off 3 or 4 days into my period.

I spend more time in pain than I do out of pain. I don't think that's fair. All this time in pain and no baby to show for it. Am feeling very hard done by at the minute!!!! *blushes*

I would welcome a lap if only to rule things out. I am dreading them suggesting one of those dye tests because I also suffer from recurring UTI (brought on by just about nothing at all) so I am hoping that can be skipped. Had allergic reaction to one of them as well. Evil things.

I just feel embarrassed. Totally embarrassed. I hate the idea of sitting there and telling a man I have never met that sex is uncomfortable, that my periods are all over the place and no matter how much I have sex I cannot get pregnant. Putting it all out for him to see. I know its like the weather to him but, to me, its pure embarrassment.

i don't want him to mess me around. I don't want to be told "the pain is normal, go away and come back in three or four months. Better still, come back when it's been TWO years."

I just dread that, y'know? Being looked at and not taken seriously? This is, after all, only my first visit. Its all questions and no action, isn't it?