Got my hopes up

Greta · Dec 9th, 2009, 06:16 AM

Hi there, I'm feeling down today. Like everyone on here, I so desperately want a baby and this month I really got my hopes up. My cycles are 26 to 28 days and yesterday I got to the end of day 29 and although was having quite bad cramps and bbs were not sore I did start to get excited. Even thought about the joy of doing a test with OH. But AF arrived in the evening.

We've been ttc for 18 months and are to start IVF in January. I am 40 so it only has a 15% chance of success. My sis in law is pregnant and so Christmas will be hard I think. I find it a struggle to stay positive and today got up late and yesterday my work suffered. But I HAVE to be positive, I know that. So tomorrow, will get back into yoga and swiming and will look into finding a Buddhist centre for meditation. I understand feeling down can harm pregnancy chances too. What other ways do people find to stay positive? Thanks for listening, Greta. x

Maggie199 · Dec 9th, 2009, 08:17 AM

hi Gretna, Sorry to hear the evil witch turned up, I know how heartbreaking it can be, we've been ttc for 14 months and everytime I get my hopes up but with no joy so far, the only way I've found of staying positive is to write everything down in a journal, I feel that getting everything off my chest no matter how awful or nasty or even heartbreaking it helps , once its all written down the next page is my fresh start with a "today Im going to focus on........................" at the top and I write what Im going to focus on ie, Im going to focus on..... working twice as hard at work today as I daydreamed all day yesterday.....

Thats how i cope anyway

xx

koko4bunny · Dec 9th, 2009, 08:20 AM

hey never give up hope my mum fell pregnant with my little sister at 40
xxx

babymaybe · Dec 9th, 2009, 13:33 PM

Hi Greta

I know it's a bit of a cliche but I know how you feel - as do all the lovely ladies on B&B. It's a real rollercoaster and increasingly hard to pick yourself up and think positive.

18 months mights not be that long - I'm sure I read somewhere that for us ladies over 30 the average time to conceive can be 3 years.

Yoga is great, I do that too, but the thing I've found most helpful recently is talking. Talking to someone who is also TTC and knows what you're going through is really therapeutic. I've found out recently that a good friend is further on in the TTC journey than me and it was great to confide in someone who's also been through it.

If you don't know anyone, The Infertility Network runs support groups all over the country. Check out their website for info.

Hope this helps

muncho · Dec 9th, 2009, 14:09 PM

Hi

have you tried acupucture, i have been doing it for the last month ans it has really helped. My FSH has halved in 1 month and i feel so much better, relaxed and positive
Maybe think about it x

Greta · Dec 9th, 2009, 16:56 PM

Hi thanks for that. I have been have been having it but only about two or three times a month. I like the lady but she talks to me the whole time - it's not that relaxing.. should I change acupunturists or stick with her? x

baybeehopes · Dec 9th, 2009, 18:20 PM

hi i am sorry u feel down... It is hard, think twice my 25-28 day cycle got to 30days no af...i was soo excited both times, pg tested+negative (think thats just as bad as af turning up) now my af tends to turn up bang on time or early...

vent on here an talk to us, we all understand the pain. Good luck x x an sumtimes a good cry helps let out all the stress + feel bit better afterward x x

Greta · Dec 10th, 2009, 05:27 AM

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better today and went swimming. Exercise seems to really help. I'm just going to focus on IVF for January now and getting as fit as possible. I'm going to look at it as a two-year plan.

To us all. xxx

Omi · Dec 10th, 2009, 10:45 AM

Chin up Greta!! A friend of mine got pg twice on ivf after 40 so i wouldnt stake too much on statistics, hun. And another friend recounted how a friend of hers had loads of IVF, all failed , and then she gave up, woke up one morning some time later and found out she was naturally pg - at 45!! Its just numbers, just numbers...

Also, im gonna be 40 in less than 3 months, gulp, lol!

All the best,
Omi xxx

Dec 9th, 2009, 06:16 AM	#1
Greta Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 393	Got my hopes up Hi there, I'm feeling down today. Like everyone on here, I so desperately want a baby and this month I really got my hopes up. My cycles are 26 to 28 days and yesterday I got to the end of day 29 and although was having quite bad cramps and bbs were not sore I did start to get excited. Even thought about the joy of doing a test with OH. But AF arrived in the evening. We've been ttc for 18 months and are to start IVF in January. I am 40 so it only has a 15% chance of success. My sis in law is pregnant and so Christmas will be hard I think. I find it a struggle to stay positive and today got up late and yesterday my work suffered. But I HAVE to be positive, I know that. So tomorrow, will get back into yoga and swiming and will look into finding a Buddhist centre for meditation. I understand feeling down can harm pregnancy chances too. What other ways do people find to stay positive? Thanks for listening, Greta. x

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 08:17 AM	#2
Maggie199 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 43	hi Gretna, Sorry to hear the evil witch turned up, I know how heartbreaking it can be, we've been ttc for 14 months and everytime I get my hopes up but with no joy so far, the only way I've found of staying positive is to write everything down in a journal, I feel that getting everything off my chest no matter how awful or nasty or even heartbreaking it helps , once its all written down the next page is my fresh start with a "today Im going to focus on........................" at the top and I write what Im going to focus on ie, Im going to focus on..... working twice as hard at work today as I daydreamed all day yesterday..... Thats how i cope anyway xx

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 08:20 AM	#3
koko4bunny Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: London, UK Posts: 145	hey never give up hope my mum fell pregnant with my little sister at 40 xxx

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 13:33 PM	#4
babymaybe Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 332	Hi Greta I know it's a bit of a cliche but I know how you feel - as do all the lovely ladies on B&B. It's a real rollercoaster and increasingly hard to pick yourself up and think positive. 18 months mights not be that long - I'm sure I read somewhere that for us ladies over 30 the average time to conceive can be 3 years. Yoga is great, I do that too, but the thing I've found most helpful recently is talking. Talking to someone who is also TTC and knows what you're going through is really therapeutic. I've found out recently that a good friend is further on in the TTC journey than me and it was great to confide in someone who's also been through it. If you don't know anyone, The Infertility Network runs support groups all over the country. Check out their website for info. Hope this helps

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 14:09 PM	#5
muncho Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 1,385	Hi have you tried acupucture, i have been doing it for the last month ans it has really helped. My FSH has halved in 1 month and i feel so much better, relaxed and positive Maybe think about it x

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 16:56 PM	#6
Greta Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 393	Hi thanks for that. I have been have been having it but only about two or three times a month. I like the lady but she talks to me the whole time - it's not that relaxing.. should I change acupunturists or stick with her? x

Status: Offline

Dec 9th, 2009, 18:20 PM	#7
baybeehopes Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Manchester...!! Posts: 122	hi i am sorry u feel down... It is hard, think twice my 25-28 day cycle got to 30days no af...i was soo excited both times, pg tested+negative (think thats just as bad as af turning up) now my af tends to turn up bang on time or early... vent on here an talk to us, we all understand the pain. Good luck x x an sumtimes a good cry helps let out all the stress + feel bit better afterward x x

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2009, 05:27 AM	#8
Greta Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 393	Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better today and went swimming. Exercise seems to really help. I'm just going to focus on IVF for January now and getting as fit as possible. I'm going to look at it as a two-year plan. To us all. xxx

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2009, 10:45 AM	#9
Omi Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2007 Location: Glasgow Posts: 8,525	Chin up Greta!! A friend of mine got pg twice on ivf after 40 so i wouldnt stake too much on statistics, hun. And another friend recounted how a friend of hers had loads of IVF, all failed , and then she gave up, woke up one morning some time later and found out she was naturally pg - at 45!! Its just numbers, just numbers... Also, im gonna be 40 in less than 3 months, gulp, lol! All the best, Omi xxx

Status: Offline

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