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Feeling down after first IVF appt

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Old Dec 7th, 2009, 17:55 PM  
Lou32
TTC naturally until IVF
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Feeling down after first IVF appt


We just had our first appointment to discuss the way forward and it feels like it's never gonna happen for us. We have MF and it turns out that the 10% motility I was so pleased with from our most recent SA (much better than the zero on the first test) actually indicates 10% of them have poor motility, not good motility as I thought. The nurse was so negative about taking vitamins and minerals and said there's no evidence they will work and they won't investigate the problem further. She said we might read lots of stories on the internet about vitamins, but they're just stories and there's no proof they actually make a difference...
DH has to go for a 'swim test' SA to decide whether we need icsi, which is almost definite. THEN, because I'm under 35, they only do single embryo transfer as they're trying to reduce the number of multiple births. AND there's only about 30% chance of it working....and after 3 goes it's unlikely to EVER work. Talk about pressure!
I was starting to feel more positive, but now I feel like I'm back to square one. Anyone else feel like this right at the beginning?
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Old Dec 7th, 2009, 18:38 PM  
starbean
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Keep my fingers crossed for you. Try not to get into a frazzle. God bless
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Old Dec 7th, 2009, 18:59 PM  
baybeehopes
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hya we hav that appointment in feb...we hav mf problems too...i am also under 35 so we will prob hav similar experiance. I went to c fs to c if i had any problems, it took months btwn appointments and 2x sa's b4 they refered my db to fertility hsptl...frm march-nov!! An wen we went we now hav to basically start frm scratch with our new dr...2 more sa's then a male scan then we hav 'where do we go frm here app' i was soooo luckin4ward to that app, seen as we had 2 low sa'smy db is 37 no children + never got any1 pg...hoped we mite b able2start proceeding quicker, oh an 25mths ttc...no such luck!! But hey enuf of me moaning, think of it like this u r young+healthy if you hav icsi and several days of bed rest+take it easy there is no reason y u wont get pg, + i didnt knw bout single embryo transfer...i knw more embie the more chance, but if u r ok, it is likely ud hav a multiple birth. Good luck+ ur not bk at square 1, ur well on ur way to ur little family....thats hw i think although it hard an we hav 5more apps b4 feb, with each1 we r a step closer...good luck x x
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Old Dec 7th, 2009, 20:02 PM  
sandlady
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We had male factor (low count and low motility)... our first IVF/ICSI was successful - we now have 8 year old b/g twins!
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Old Dec 7th, 2009, 20:24 PM  
baybeehopes
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woo hoo well done sandlady, its nice to hear sucess stories, when u had ur treatment, how long did it take to get ivf/icsi? We hav low count, low motility, low 9% progression an 15% normal sperm...x
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Old Dec 8th, 2009, 07:46 AM  
rachelle1975
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Hey Lou

Don't be down hun

We also have male factor and at our first SA the results were appalling - 1 million total sperm count when the average is 20 million per ml. Now DH has been taking Wellman multi vits, 1000mg of vit C and Maca and his sperm count at the last SA had gone up to 16 million total and his motility and morphology were all above average. If you read a fertility specialists book such as Zita West etc she covers all the pills, potions and dietary changes as well as lifestyle changes that you can make to try and improve things. I figure anything is worth trying so long as it's nothing dodgy off the web.

It has taken a while to get to our IVF appt today and now i'm petrified as part of me wishes i had another 6 months to try naturally.

It'll take 3 months for any changes you and your OH make to affect his SA (it takes this long for sperm to mature) so embrace it - there are plenty of girls who didn't have to go down the IVF route at all despite their FS telling them this was their only way. Don't give up hope - a 1 in 3 chance is pretty good going - we have the same odds at 34 with 2 eggs. Good luck xx
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Old Dec 8th, 2009, 10:31 AM  
obe
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Hi Lou, we are in the same boat. My OH has only 7% motility so we knew we would have to go through IVF/ICSI. He had the 'swim test' which proved we need fertility treatment. He then went on to say there was only 30% chance of it working. We have to self fund so we will only have one shot at it so im really hoping it works 1st time. I came away from the appointment feeling low but I know that I have to stay positive and keep our FX crossed that luck is on our side.
I also have my OH on vits, MECCA and ZINC but they havnt made any difference to his motiity. But I would say its worth a try. Dont let it get you down, you need to stay strong and positive. I hope it works for you xx
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Old Dec 8th, 2009, 10:59 AM  
chocci
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou32 View Post
and after 3 goes it's unlikely to EVER work.
What a load of crap, who told you that hun? AVERAGE is 3 FULL ICSI/IVF to success, thats AVERAGE which means many more have MORE than 3 goes for success, 4,5,6,7 ++++ so whoever told you that needs shooting!!! Under 35 with no probs yourself and using icsi you have a dam good chance, but rememebr just cos it does not work 1st, or 2nd or even 3rd time does not mean it WILL NOT work. Age less than 35 and no other probs but male fertility the chance of working is slightly higher at about 40-50% if you make it to transfer!!

Ignore all the shit you read on the internet or the nurses at the clinic, they talk rubbish most of the time, especially the NHS ones!!

Sorry if i was a little aggressive with my response just when people are told things that are totally worng it pisses me off cos it upsets them unnessesarily!!!
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Old Dec 8th, 2009, 11:05 AM  
chocci
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By the way i had SET (only one put back) i was told by hte embryologist that our littel embie was great - it didnt work! I regret not putting 2 back cos when it came to FET they didnt thaw well. However, having more than 1 put back only increases the chance of it working by anotehr 5% so say your chance was 30% with 1 embie its only 35% with 2 embies, it does not double your odds like people think! You have to work out if you are fit an healthy enough to cope with a twin pregnancy and all the problems that can be assciated with it before and after birth. I am going for 2 this time since a single transfer did not work last time, but i always wonder what if i had 2 put back last time??!?!?! Would i be preggers now? Tough decision if you get the chance to make it, BUT it is your decision they cant make you only put 1 back, its not law...YET! You choose!
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Old Dec 8th, 2009, 13:06 PM  
Aphrodite
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Aw Lou . This IVF business is such a rollercoaster of emotions (sorry for the cliche).

When we found out, I was really upset. I cried in front of my mother in law, I cried when someone looked at me the wrong way, I cried when I saw babies. But now I feel very calm and positive about it. We have had our initial appointment, waiting for FU on March 1st and then we can be refferred for ICSI. No doubt Ill start to feel stressed out again then-your emotions go up and down all the time.

Some nurses need shooting!-I'm a student nurse myself and my blood boils when I hear things like this. The nurse who dealt with me was a bitch aswell. I asked what they were going to do today and she looked at me like I was stupid and said, 'Well, you're trying to conceieve (like I didnt know!!!!) so we are now moving forward with further investigations' DUH!!!!! Then, when she weighed me, she said my weight was 10 stone (Im 5 ft 6) I said, thats not too bad (more to myself as I have gained weight recently), she said, 'hmm yes well you can't afford to gain any though'. I was like Thanks a lot love, feelin nervous here, some kind reassurance wouldn't go amiss, snotty cow.

Bottom line hun, If you want to take vitamins with hubby and you feel better about it DO IT! I think a lot of the worry and angst comes from our own insecurities etc so do whatever feels right for you, ignore the ignorant nurse who does that job day in day out and has obviously lost her passion as well as soul and should frankly leave the profession.

You have an EXCELLENT chance of it working, Most people on here seem to have worked at least 2nd go. My FS said 'there is no reason why you cannot have your own child' She was so confident with it. Even if it doesnt work 1st time, It WILL WORK EVENTUALLY!! The 2 emby transfer depends on where you go, some girls clinics on here will, some wont, you will need to chat to your consultant nearer the time. Do you know when you are likely to start? We are hoping for May time. Take the journey as it comes babe. We've all been where you are...major hugs h
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