My BF and I have been together for seven years and have been TTC since 2004 with no success. I have a daughter from a previous relationship so we never understood why I wasn't getting pregnant. In 2005, I was diagnosed with PCOS which made TTC even more frustrating. My OB/GYN prescribed metformin for me but I couldn't take it regularly because of the awful side effects I endured. So fastfoward to 2008, My BF and I broke up temporarily for 11 months and got back together. Everything was going great and we were back TTC and planning our wedding. I began metformin treatment again, and to my surprise I began to get regular menses and I dropped 15lbs!!! I began my first clomid treatment to help boost my chance of the preggers but then the bomb dropped--my BF found out that a girl he dated while we were apart was pregnant with his baby!!! I'm so devastated. I don't know what to do. I still want to have a baby but everyone is telling me that I'm a fool because of his other situation. I'm so angry and hurt and jealous that its not me. It's a possiblity that I could be pregnant now because of the meds but if I'm not should I really put off my dreams of having another child now? I'm 29 and my daughter is 8 yrs old. I don't want my kids any further apart then what they are already going to be. I hate having this PCOS. Can anyone give me sound, non-condescending advice. I'm really heartbroken and hormonal. Please help.

How has your BF taken the news? How has he been with you since you both found out? Has it affected your feelings towards him?

And who is 'everyone' that is giving you the advice at the moment?

He's not happy at all. He says he's stuck in the middle and he wishes it was me that was pregnant which further devastates me. He's been saying it was mistake and it just happened due to a faulty condom. He didn't find out until she was almost six months pregnant so he just has to deal with it. He's been having dreams that I was pregnant and wakes up so happy until reality hits him. When we BD, sometimes he cries saying he still wants me to have his baby which hurts even more. Especially since I know he's the type of man that doesn't show a lot of emotion. Since I found out, its been weird because we don't know how to handle this situation. It hasn't affected the love I have for him but I am very hurt by the situation because we never stopped BD while we were apart. Friends of mine that don't know him are the ones giving this advice to me. My 1 really close friend is saying that I'm still entitled to have my baby but I know she'll support me whether I'm wrong or right so I don't know if her advice is sound right now, if that makes sense.

All I can say is that you know what is best for yourself and your partner and to go with what ever makes you BOTH happy

I wouldnt listen to other people, i mean no ones life is perfect but some people are quick to judge others so easy..

If being with your partner makes you happy, and trying for a baby is what you both want, then i cant see why it wont work between you both.
x

I would follow your heart, you love each other and have been together a long time. I can imagine its devastating finding out he has a child on the way but you should not let that stop you both from carrying on following your dream, I would keep trying for a baby, you both want it so dont let anyone or anything make you question it,its your life, its your relationship.. don't give up because of this...

strange as it sounds, I'd be looking at how CSA payments were gonna affect you having the option of being able to have a baby together, however if I could still afford it, I'd keep going.