starbean

I have had a horrible week, I found out that my elder sister (39)is eight weeks pregnant (I am of cause pleased for her) However i saw her three weeks ago and she did not mention she was pregnant but wanted to find out all about our poblems trying to conceive (I am 38, Husband has low sperm count and we have been trying for three and a half years) she wanted to talk about this for ages. She kept going on about it all night.

She was also drinking and smoking heavily that night, and looking back I keep thinking she must of known then (as they have been trying for less then a year and she moniters her periods regularly, and takes tests.)

I then had a call from my mum on tuesday night to say her husband had phoned to say she was pregnant and that he was worried about her eating nothing (she has had an eating disorder for years) and he thought that we should know about her condition, to help encourrage her to eat.

I phoned her to congratulate her and asked her if she knew she was pregnant when we last met up, she just smerked and said she did a spell that month (she is into all that stuff) and would let me in on it soon !!, She said she was so ill and sick with the pregnancy she would not wish it on her worst enermy. She said she was waiting to tell me on christmas day as it would be arround three months then.

I feel shocked at my sisters lack of respect for me and her situation. To make matters worse my mum is cooing a way like mad as she has always been the blue eyed girl, and as a contrast has always had an up and down relationship with me. Mum keeps ringing everyday to say how this is going to change my sisters and her life and does not ask about my situation or how I may be feeling.

I have been bursting into tears with all sorts of emotions all week, fortunatly my darling husband is a brilliant shoulder to cry on and is keeping me sane with out him I would crumble. Sorry for the long rant Has any one experienced anything similar to this?

BigFoot1980

Oh Hun I am so sorry ur having such a hard time. Your sister should be more considerate towards you.

susan_1981

Oh god, you seem like you are in exactly the same situation. My sister in law also had an eating disorder, she's bulimic which is why I think she didn't fall pregnant for all those times she had unprotected sex because she rarely has periods.

I know exactly how you feel. Especially when you see them smoking. My husband has a lower than normal sperm count. His count was 18 million with 30% mobility but my doctor didn't seem concerned about that. We are off to see a fertility specialist tomorrow. Have you been to see the doctor about not falling pregnant? I fell pregnant in October 2008 after only just over 2 months trying but I had a missed miscarriage which I found out on 23 December last year.

It's so hard and I completely know how you feel. I hope we both get there soon xxx

starbean

Thank you for your reply. We have been given funding for NHS IVF and our waiting time (lincolnshire) has not been confirmed as yet. This possibility is what is also keeping me going. I hope we will both get are BFP at the end of a long journey susie
writing and posting has helped me get this of my chest, sometimes we have to be strong even though we can not work out or reason with other people . Godbless

Dancingkaty1

so sorry to hear you are going through this.....my sister is due on this coming week ( she has been ttc for 7 mths & i have a year and a half) & 2 be honest im dreading finding out if she is preg....i just dont think i will be able to cope, she & her boyfriend drink all the time & use drugs sometimes too!! theres me & my husband doing everything & i mean everything!!! to get preg...stop going out drinking, taking pills everyday, dh even stopped having baths to help sperm!! Glad to hear you have a very supportive & loving husband....thats what gets me through these things too xx

Lou32

My little lister (5 years younger) announced she wanted to start ttc a couple of months ago and I live day to day terrified she's gonna announce she's pregnant. Totally understand how you feel. I don't know how I'll cope if she gets pregnant before me and it makes me feel even worse that I feel like I'm being selfish.

Deeni

What an awful situation! My family is not very sensitive to what is going on. I try to talk to them as little as possible about it.

Lou, I just want to say that I have a coworker who just got married and all she talks about is having a baby. I too live day to day terrified she will announce her pregnancy. I work in a small office and a lot of people know I am trying so I can only imagine how uncomfortable I am going to feel!

NeyNey

My baby sister is about 6 months Preg. At first it was a shock, as she got it first go. But I'm so excited to be an Aunty, I try to focus on the good side of things. We've been at this for over 4 years now, and if I let every friend/family's pregnancy crumble me I'd never be able to function.

Sorry you're feeling so low. Remember, a new addition to the family is exciting hun, try to remember that you're going to be an Aunty too

Em_Maryland

I would hope that your mom could be a bit more sensitive and perhaps not call and tell you about every little development... does your mom know that you've been ttc? If she can't tone it down I would try to limit your contact with both of them. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of the usual heartache of LTTTC.

readyforbaby

I am sorry to hear you are low. My sister has made comments in the past about getting pregnant first (she is older but now divorced) and I fear she will even though I am trying everything. I would also be crushed though I know I would get over it and be excited to welcome a new family member... still can't shake the feeling that she really is trying to "beat me to it". Chins up and let your mom know that while you are happy for her, understandably your feelings are hurt that you aren't celebrating the same joy in your own life after trying for X amount of time. She really SHOULD understand.