Difficult

Greta · Oct 10th, 2009, 05:08 AM

Hi, I have just found out my (much younger) sister-in-law is pregnant. I feel sad and ashamed at myself for not being happy and being distant and cold with my DH as a result. When it is obvioulsy an exciting time for his family.

We have been ttc for 18 months and I am aware this isn't as long as many people and that feeling like this is quite common.

I am 40 and so far have had a normal scan showing about 16 antral follicles and an OK ovarian reserve test (AMH test of 14.7). I am also ovulating. DH has sperm antibodies although the FS said it probably wasn't significant.

Our FS, who is great, now wants to do a laparoscopy, so I'm waiting for a date. Then we go for IVF, if we are considered suited. I guess it's just going to be hard at Christmas when I so much wish it was us. My DH has been lovely and said it is hard for him too and we need to just feel positive and find a way of coping. It is just a bit of a shock. Thanks for listening. Greta. xx

bek74 · Oct 10th, 2009, 05:52 AM

Awww hun, I am sorry. It must be very difficult for you and don't feel bad for feeling sad, distant and jealous. I think under the circumstances they are perfectly normal feelings.

I get upset when I am out shopping and see mothers yelling and smacking their children and generally treating them like crap. It makes me upset to see them treat their kids that way, when there are so many women out there wanting desperatly to be a mother.

Good luck with the tests and your day WILL come

rachelle1975 · Oct 10th, 2009, 06:23 AM

Hey Greta

You aren't alone in your reaction. What is good, is that you realised you didn't want to feel this way. I also end up feeling ashamed, frustrated etc. when i hear close friends and family are pregnant and i wish that i didn't react like this. It does get easier though - in some cases i'm a great friend on the 'phone' and i don't tend to meet up much in person - most people would understand it.

Hope that the lap goes well - Tanya who is now in 2nd tri had sperm antibodies and had IVF. First go and she is now pregnant. Hope that your journey is short, sweet and that things get better

Dancingkaty1 · Oct 10th, 2009, 15:26 PM

hi...ur not alone at feeling this way...i too was devasted when i found out my sister-in-law was preg last dec.....we were ttc too & it hurt like hell that it hadnt happened4 us. She gave birth to a little girl 3 weeks ago & altho it was tough i managed to go and see the baby in hospital. We are still ttc unfortunately....but in a way i am glad i didnt conceive while she was preg....i can hopefully have all the attention on me & my bump when our time comes he he...xx

Greta · Oct 10th, 2009, 16:24 PM

Thanks. I am feeling a bit better about it now. I mean it actually doesn't affect our position, rather just reminds us of our difficulties. We will try and stay positive and support our family. Good luck everyone! x

kairzh7 · Oct 10th, 2009, 17:20 PM

You are not alone. My sister-in-law just gave birth to her 3rd last month and we were trying long before they were and we are still trying. Plus I had to hear about how they tried one month then were going to wait so the baby wouldn't be too close the holidays and guess what they made it the first time. I wanted so badly to be happy for them, but I couldn't. I love my new nephew (who was born on my birthday), but still have a hard time being happy for them or being sympathetic with the complaints during pregnancy and now with a newborn because I would give anything to be that miserable or sleep deprived. I wish the best of luck and please know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

Naturalmystic · Oct 10th, 2009, 21:34 PM

Aww sorry to hear that you are broody but it is normal to feel the way you do. Best of luck to you, I hope you get your BFP soon

Oct 10th, 2009, 05:08 AM	#1
Greta Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 393	Difficult Hi, I have just found out my (much younger) sister-in-law is pregnant. I feel sad and ashamed at myself for not being happy and being distant and cold with my DH as a result. When it is obvioulsy an exciting time for his family. We have been ttc for 18 months and I am aware this isn't as long as many people and that feeling like this is quite common. I am 40 and so far have had a normal scan showing about 16 antral follicles and an OK ovarian reserve test (AMH test of 14.7). I am also ovulating. DH has sperm antibodies although the FS said it probably wasn't significant. Our FS, who is great, now wants to do a laparoscopy, so I'm waiting for a date. Then we go for IVF, if we are considered suited. I guess it's just going to be hard at Christmas when I so much wish it was us. My DH has been lovely and said it is hard for him too and we need to just feel positive and find a way of coping. It is just a bit of a shock. Thanks for listening. Greta. xx

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 05:52 AM	#2
bek74 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Brisbane Queensland Australia Posts: 3,656	Awww hun, I am sorry. It must be very difficult for you and don't feel bad for feeling sad, distant and jealous. I think under the circumstances they are perfectly normal feelings. I get upset when I am out shopping and see mothers yelling and smacking their children and generally treating them like crap. It makes me upset to see them treat their kids that way, when there are so many women out there wanting desperatly to be a mother. Good luck with the tests and your day WILL come

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 06:23 AM	#3
rachelle1975 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Surrey Posts: 9,105	Hey Greta You aren't alone in your reaction. What is good, is that you realised you didn't want to feel this way. I also end up feeling ashamed, frustrated etc. when i hear close friends and family are pregnant and i wish that i didn't react like this. It does get easier though - in some cases i'm a great friend on the 'phone' and i don't tend to meet up much in person - most people would understand it. Hope that the lap goes well - Tanya who is now in 2nd tri had sperm antibodies and had IVF. First go and she is now pregnant. Hope that your journey is short, sweet and that things get better

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 15:26 PM	#4
Dancingkaty1 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 1,191	hi...ur not alone at feeling this way...i too was devasted when i found out my sister-in-law was preg last dec.....we were ttc too & it hurt like hell that it hadnt happened4 us. She gave birth to a little girl 3 weeks ago & altho it was tough i managed to go and see the baby in hospital. We are still ttc unfortunately....but in a way i am glad i didnt conceive while she was preg....i can hopefully have all the attention on me & my bump when our time comes he he...xx

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 16:24 PM	#5
Greta Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 393	Thanks. I am feeling a bit better about it now. I mean it actually doesn't affect our position, rather just reminds us of our difficulties. We will try and stay positive and support our family. Good luck everyone! x

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 17:20 PM	#6
kairzh7 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Redding, CA Posts: 139	You are not alone. My sister-in-law just gave birth to her 3rd last month and we were trying long before they were and we are still trying. Plus I had to hear about how they tried one month then were going to wait so the baby wouldn't be too close the holidays and guess what they made it the first time. I wanted so badly to be happy for them, but I couldn't. I love my new nephew (who was born on my birthday), but still have a hard time being happy for them or being sympathetic with the complaints during pregnancy and now with a newborn because I would give anything to be that miserable or sleep deprived. I wish the best of luck and please know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

Status: Offline

Oct 10th, 2009, 21:34 PM	#7
Naturalmystic Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 237	Aww sorry to hear that you are broody but it is normal to feel the way you do. Best of luck to you, I hope you get your BFP soon

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
Yesterday Was difficult	Miscarriage Support
Difficult question	Trying To Conceive
Do you find BDing every other day difficult?	Trying To Conceive
Difficult Situation	Long Term Trying To Conceive

User Name		Remember Me?
Password