This has been bothering me for a while and I cannot quite fathom why.

I absolutely detest this sentence - 'It happened to me, it'll happen for you.'

Am I so far gone and bitter that I find it so grating on my nerves to hear it? Is there something about it that I am missing?

I don't know, I don't begrudge people getting good news (god knows we all need it) but I just find the statement so empty. I hear it so often (in everyday life), and although I appreciate it's probably one of those things people say to try and cheer you up. It does the complete opposite to me!

Anyone feel simular? Anyone feel the complete opposite? Would love to hear your take on things as to try and enlighten myself maybe!

Anyone have their own little sentences that particularly grate on their nerves?

Questions questions!

Yeah, I can see that being annoying. HOWEVER..... everyone I know (and some I don't) always say "you just need to get drunk and fuck, it works for everyone else that way".

REALLY??? SERIOUSLY????

I've got endometriosis......I'm pretty sure alcohol doesn't cure that or else there would be a lot of drunk ladies!!!

If there is a reason behind this saying it has passed me by

Stupid bloody thing to say.

Also 'it will happen when it's meant to'?!?!
What .. when I've won the lottery? Gone mad from TTC? Hit 35? 45? Own a 5 bed house 2 dogs and a Volvo?

When the hell is 'when its meant to'

Yup, that me backing down and stepping away before i go off on one .....

I totally understand what your saying chic but i suppose we have to think of what other people feel too when they find out about our situation. I mean, if i was in their sitiation talking to someone with infertility (and say i had kids or had never experienced infertility) ell i suppose its hard to know what to say for the best, what can they say, whatever they say its going to be wrong. If they said oh hard luck, or have you thought of adoption or even if they said nothing, it would all be wrong, simply because we are hurting. If someone says something or nothing its always going to niggle at us i suppose.

I just try to stay positive now, i have never been bitter and never will be, i 90% of the time remain posoitve, what else is there to do, i will not be one of these people who maon and drown in sorrow, being negative at everything, i try to think IT WILL happen for me one day, therefore whatever anyone says i never let it affect me, cos they know no more than me

xx

To me, saying "It happened to me, it'll happen for you" is totally disregarding the difference in circumstances and as such it DOES feel like an empty statement, not intentionally but empty all the same. In most cases our situations are not even remotely similar. The person saying "It happened to me" is usually the person who got pregnant first month off the pill so cannot comprehend our situation at all. They don't mean it unpleasantly it but I sometimes wonder why they feel the need to say such things because at the end of the day there's a very real chance that it WON'T happen to us.

When I found out I was miscarrying this week I phoned work crying like a little girl. My heart was broken, still is, and I was at the stage where if anybody asked if I was okay I would break down.

"You have to see the positive in this," the office manager said. "You can always try again."

What is the positive in losing twins; at getting a positive test after IVF and those babies never growing? What is the positive in going through months of treatment only to be given hope and then having it snatched away?

How can I just try again, just like that? It's not like I can just hop into bed next month and get pregnant, is it?

I cannot, cannot understand why she said that. I suppose in her own way she was trying to be helpful but telling a woman who just got told she had lost the babies she had fought so hard for to "see the positive" in it?

I'm sorry...what is positive about that?

I don't know. Maybe I'm strange, but people don't really need to say things like that to try and make a bad situation better for me. I'm quite content with just a success story without the 'It'll happen for you too' at the end. Or a 'Thinking of you' I wouldn't get offended at that.

I find it so difficult to say "It probably won't"...

Some statements hold no weight, ey? I don't think any one woman has ever had exactly the same story to tell. Perhaps there was a time when I got comfort from thinking 'so and so had it happen to them so it'll work for me too' but now I feel like it just gives false hope. Personally speaking. and personally speaking also.. that doesn't ever do me any good!

Thanks for your replies ladies

I think, for me, as a recurrent miscarriage sufferer, the one that has got me a lot lately, has been the amount of people that say to "At least you know you can get pregnant"

WTF good is that if I keep miscarrying them, and am told its likely because of poor egg quality, so I don't know if I'll ever manage to have a baby at the end of it? How is getting pregnant supposed to make things OK? Its about holding a baby in my arms at the end of it. And the pain of losing them each time gets worse...not better.

F*ckwits! Sorry x

I'm hoping that is just our low self confidence talking and doesn't bare any weight to the actual situation..

I would love a crystal ball right now. Then if I'm wrong I would gladly wait even more years to come in the knowledge that it will definitely happen for me.